Billionaire bidders lining up to buy one of England's most famous "footy" clubs are in solidarity about one thing, the name Liverpool FC must go!
Liverpool, Scousers, Wayne Rooney, Ringo Starr, Granny Shaggers and Gerry & the Pacemakers (he needs one these days!) have a tarnished global image and the buyers are insisting on renaming the club before investing their millions in the crumbling giant.
Liverpool FC fans are up in arms about the suggestion and are blocking the Mersey with ferry boats, only allowing slave boats to leave.
Ex- Scouser, Sir Paul McCartney (he changed his nationality and became Scottish or Mull of Kyntire-an), was also there doing a rendition of the famous Liverpool FC Anthem, "You'll never walk alone" renamed "You'll always walk alone if you change our name, Asian, Yank bastards"!
Several ideas for a new name came from arch rival fans of that other endangered species, Man Utd, here they are:
1) FC Singaporian Rubbish Tip Scavengers PC
2) FC Boston Red Nosed Piss Artists
3) FC Scouse Slave Drivers (fighting against racism)
4) FC Granny Shaggers Unite-d
5) FC Michael Owen Ltd (very)
6) FC Coleen Rooney Ltd (very, Wayne has proven that!)
The new owners though are opting for a more accessible approach to the new name along the guidelines built upon Liverpool traditions but not mentioning the dreaded name, i.e.
FC Boston Has-Beens
FC Singapore Sluts (with Rooney as captain and Gerrard as his Pimp)
FC Shankley's Ponies (donkey's these days)
FC Wannabee Theatre of Dreams (nicked from arch rivals Man Utd) etc, etc!