Fuzzy Navel Inventor Says "It's Not Just a Clever Name"

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 11 October 2010


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Lintmeyer's Newest Concoction, The Runny Nose.

Horace Lintmeyer, inventor of some of the world's most memorable boutique cocktails including the Rusty Nail and the Fuzzy Navel, says the names of those popular drinks were actually derived from real life events.

Interviewed as part of the BBC's "Inventor Series", Lintmeyer, a former bartender and night club owner, says that the inspiration for the drinks came after certain personal encounters with customers at his club, and in some cases out in public as well.

"For example", says Lintmeyer, "The Rusty Nail was easy. I stepped on one walking into a pub. The Rob-Roy was created after finding out two of my best friends were actually gay lovers. Saw them in the back of a Range Rover, asses up and balls-a-swinging one night. You can guess what their names were. After that, I created a mostly brown looking drink with a cherry."

Other drink names carried interesting stories as well, including the Harvey Wallbanger and the Tequila Sunrise. "Well, after a night of doing tequila shots followed by no sleep and the spins, all I could hope for was a pretty sunrise. Wallbanger, on the other hand, was named after a bar regular named Harvey, drunk on Absynth who couldn't make it to the rest room without bouncing of every wall along the way", says Lintmeyer.

As the title of this story might suggest, we saved the best story for last. Back in the 60's, Lintmeyer was celebrating a birthday at the Pub and managed to convince a woman to come home with him for the evening. "We were writhing and rolling and sticking our tongues just about everywhere, until I pulled out a clump of fuzz from her belly button and that stopped the foreplay. She had been wearing a cotton top and Angora sweater and I mean to tell you, THAT was a fuzzy navel".

Asked if there were any regrets for his lifestyle or about his dubious claim to fame, Lintmeyer replied; "I guess I would have liked to be the one to have come up with the inspiration for or the experience from the Blow Job, the Screaming Orgasm, or Sex on the Beach, but I just wasn't that lucky. I'm the guy who gets to name drinks like the Mudslide, the Monkey Gland and the Zombie".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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