American Families Forced to Stay in Foreclosed Homes Against Will

Funny story written by Charpa93

Monday, 11 October 2010

image for American Families Forced to Stay in Foreclosed Homes Against Will
Thank God I can now afford luxuries.

Many of the largest banks in America, including the Bank of America, not to be confused with the Other Bank of America, have been forcing most of their customers, who have not been paying on their mortgages for months, to remain living in their homes with no means for escape.

Through a series of paperwork glitches that go back all the way to even before the mortgages on the homes were entered into by the homebuyers, these banks are now coming out with the whole truth, albeit, via subpoena, about how they first hoodwinked people into taking hefty mortgages they couldn't afford. The banks then changed the terms of the mortgage without proper disclosures, leading to double mortgage payments the homeowners couldn't afford, and then filing paperwork to force the homeowners out of the homes so the banks could take the properties back, this time via faulty foreclosures.

Now, with no other alternative, banks are forcing the original homeowners to go back into the homes, sometimes even after they've been stripped down to the last copper wire, and making them live there until they can figure out just how this paperwork thing works. Said one unnamed bank official, "We deal with lawyers. That's where we went wrong. We listened to the attorneys who told us it was perfectly legal to sell mortgages on a home where the actual worth of the home was less than the face value of the home. But our lawyers advised us we didn't need to read the fine print attributed to us. We just trusted those lawyers."

He went on, "Next, they tell us how simple it is. The people don't pay, the people shouldn't be allowed to keep their homes. Ok, on this we agreed wholeheartedly, so we have them draw up papers to evict the people from the homes and start foreclosure proceedings for non-payment of the mortgages. Thing is, those papers were evidently not written very well either, and you know us, why read it when you have this [ahem] competent attorney telling us all is legal."

The bottom line now is that not only do the major banks have to allow a bunch of non-paying mortgagees back into their homes while they get this paperwork snafu figured out, but in the meantime, they can't use the empty homes to house their own family and friends, especially in the more tony neighborhoods.

One bank official living in Southern California claims that he and his mistress had been staying weekends at a fabulous $4.3 million Malibu mansion living it up and now the owner has been told to go back in there and start squatting. "It just boggles the mind," said the banker.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more