Inflatable Russian Weapons 'No Threat To Security.'

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 11 October 2010

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Real - or plastic?

Latest Russian attempts to make huge savings on military expenditure have been dismissed as "no threat" by a NATO expert.

In the latest cost-cutting scheme the Russians have built a large range of inflatable miltary decoys - from tanks to entire radar installations.

The inflatables are intended to deceive enemies - much as Churchill used wooden decoys on the UK mainland during the Second World War to deceive German reconnaisance.

But a leading military NATO expert has declared the scheme a waste of time and of no threat to western security.

Major General Casper Dillinger-Bollinger said: "What harm is a regiment of plastic tanks gonna do? Blow air out of their guns. Ooh - scary!

"And you just try taking off in an inflatable nuclear bomber! Ain't gonna happen, bub. Try to deliver a multi-megaton nuke with one of those and you're in big trouble."

The Russians have been having trouble with some of their inflatables.

Their fleet of decoy nuclear submarines refuses to stay submerged, while naval pilots have been having considerable difficulty landing on the decoy aircraft carriers which tend to capsize or burst.

A Russian military source told us: "Of course, is also problem for brave Russian soldiers, sailors and airmen. Decoys are so good, they can't tell which is proper machine and which is fake.

"In drills, many have tried to jump into machine, only to bounce off plastic one - then break arm or leg.

"Is problem we are addressing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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