"I Love My Government" Says George Soros

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Monday, 11 October 2010

image for "I Love My Government" Says George Soros
Nancy "Food-Stamps-and-Unemployment-Are-Great" Pelosi (Democrat, Speaker of the House)

WASHINGTON, DC - George Soros gave a surprising endorsement of Washington, DC politics during an interview concerning the weak condition of the American economy. Instead of being critical of the Democrat-controlled Congress and Executive Branch, he used the phrase "I LOVE MY GOVERNMENT." Soros then clarified the phrase "my government."

George Soros: I mean it is MY government. I bought it. It does what I tell it to do. You could not find a dog as obedient as Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid, even if you searched the whole world. Bills appear on their desks, straight from my billion-dollar political advocacy centers, and without them reading a single word, my policies become law. They even passed a law that we forgot to name.

Looking back to 2004, it really wasn't arrogant boasting when an email from Eli Pariser and "the whole MoveOn PAC team" made a statement about the Democrat Party, saying "Now it's our Party - we bought it, we own it...." George Soros did in fact own the Democrat Party, and the $740 million that put President Obama in office seems to indicate that those willing to buy the Executive Office can make US policy as if they sat in the Oval Office themselves.

Some would criticize the quality of politicians which Soros has bought. For example, Nancy Pelosi recently claimed that the "biggest bang for the buck" of Stimulus Bill spending came from Food Stamps and Unemployment Insurance. William Tyler, a futures trader, commented "if you wanted over-the-edge, total Moon-Bat Lunacy, why not go to an Insane Asylum instead of spending millions on Democrat campaigns?" Surprisingly, there's a simple answer:

George Soros: My plans require the craziest of the crazy - the Gold Medal winners of Narcissistic Delusional Psychosis. When all of their economic plans are implemented, America will collapse into anarchy and financial oblivion ... then my "short" contracts on the US economy will be worth TRILLIONS of dollars. Naturally, all of my hedge-fund trades are now made using Chinese currency.

Once again, George Soros demonstrates his remarkable talent for using the manipulation and mass destruction of a nation's wealth for personal gain. "Breaking the Bank of England" in 1992 will probably seem trivial, after the Obama-Pelosi-Reid machine has run its course ... and the $5.3 Billion spent on the 2008 US elections may be viewed by Soros as "the best investment ever."

Notes: A brief list of "accomplishments" of the "pwned" US government.

  • Unemployment Raised to 10.1% from 8% with Stimulus Bill Costing $862 Billion.
  • Foreign Oil Receives $4 Billion from US while Obama Kills More than 23,000 US Jobs with Drilling Moratorium.
  • Obama Sues State of Arizona for Defending Itself Against Drug Violence in Mexico Which Has Killed More Than 20,000.
  • Obama Secretly Sent "It's-Fine-by-Us" Letter in Regard to the Release of Libyan Lockerbie Bomber.
  • Congress Refuses to Pass Tax Code for 2011 and Budget for 2011, Claims "Not Raising Tax Rates that Have Existed for Eight Years" Is Same as "Giving Away $700 Billion."
  • New EPA Rules Classify US Bakeries as "Polluters" Due to CO2 Released by Yeast in Bread and Pastries.
  • US Corporations Record Hundreds of Billions in Losses (March 2010) as ObamaCare Increases Liabilities and Costs.
  • Increased US Troop Deaths for 2009 and 2010 in Afghanistan (each nearly twice number for 2008)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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