Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 11 October 2010

image for Queen To Reveal Football Preference At Launch: She's A Pompey Fan!

The Queen is to launch Cunard's latest Queen Elizabeth liner at Southampton today in a ceremony during which she is also likely to reveal a long-kept secret.

She will tell the crowds at the dockside that she is a life-long Portsmouth fan and that it actually makes her feel sick to be in "Scum" as Southampton is known by its rivals.

A Buckingham Palace insider told us: "It's no secret among staff that Her Majesty hates Southampton - or 'Scum' as we all have to call it.

"It's because she's a Pompey fan, and she knows some people are going to call her a 'skate' because of this. But she feels honesty is the best policy.

"She always tries to make sure that the family goes to to sea from Portsmouth. Of course this can't always be arranged - but if it's Southampton, staff are urged to get her on board as quickly as possible so she doesn't have to stay there too long.

"We've been told to expect complaints to flood in from 'scummers' but Her Majesty believes that at her age she should be able to make these things public."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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