Michael Savage is a Weiner
In case some of you don't know, or don't care who Michael Savage is, he is best known as an (err-hmmm) political commentator on the radio show he developed, "The Savage Nation." Savage is a pseudonym. His real name is Michael Alan Weiner. Did you ever wonder why, if someone is going to take a pseudonym, they don't change the whole name and not just the last name? Some do, I guess but he di...
Read full storyOverland Park Steak 'N Shake Records First Post-Mortem Michael Jackson Sighting
At approximately 11:18 PM on July 23, a patron at the Steak 'N Shake off Jefferson Blvd in Overland Park, Kansas registered the first known sighting of Michael Jackson since his death on June 25 of this year. "Definitely him," said local parking...
Read full storyZydeco Dupree Talkin' About Chaz Bono
Louisiana Cajun-Creole stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree is currently performing in The Snip Snip Lounge at the Motel Six in Trinidad, Colorado. Trinidad is considered to be the Sexual Reassignment Surgery Capital of The World. Shown at the right is a recent photo of Chastity Bono, a female, who has now become Chaz Bono, a male. HERE IS A PART OF ZYDECO DUPREE'S TRINIDAD ACT. Okay folks, now l...
Read full storyTop Gear is Finished - Richard Hammond Refuses To Be Clarkson's New Dick
The moment we have all dreaded is upon us - the Top Gear Triumvirate is to be sundered - and all because of a selfish action by Hammond. There is a sense of tragi-comedy about the news and the production team seems to believe that things can be pa...
Read full storyMossad stung as New Jersey corruption probe busts dozens of rabbis
New Jersey - (Corrupt Bastards Mess): Still smarting from its $900 million Pension Fund Madoff Ponzi Scam losses Mossad has been stung once again with today's arrest of dozens of New Jersey rabbis and their State politician stooges. A 10-year FBI...
Read full storyDale Winton to Play Peter Mandelson in New Musical - "When Peter met Tony"!
Dale Winton the permatanned twinkletoed star of the 1990's was today unveiled as the romantic lead in a New Musical telling the story of a meteoric rise to power. Lord Mandelson First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation...
Read full storyObama's Newest Appointments
WASHINGTON,D.C.,USA In an unprecedented move which is speculated by many to be a bid to boost his recently flagging approval ratings President Barack Obama announced today the creation of two new cabinet positions. Citing the vast amount of publi...
Read full storyLondon set to close
Prime Minister, Bordon Grown, 37 sensationally announced plans today, to '' follow the BBC'' and move the capital of England to Manchester. After the success of the BBC move up north, with over 14% of managers in favour, Brown thinks a move close...
Read full storyHalley's Comet -The Great Prophet Nostradumbass
The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that a crew of astronauts and scientists will be sent into deep space to get as close as possible to Halley's Comet when it returns in the year 2061. They will carry out experiments that will help us understand more about comets and how they are made.
Read full storyQueen & The Poor
The Queen of England and other places on the planet wants all the unemployed and the poor to be rounded up and sent to live in Afghanistan in Hell or Helmand province alternatively they could be sent to The Falklands which is Hell. In Afghanistan...
Read full storyNew Adverts That Tell The Truth
Are you tired of insincere gits on television trying to make car insurance and mending roofs interesting? Then why not tune into Britain's new 24-hour a day commercial channel, that shows nothing but adverts that tell the truth about the products they are advertising. Here are a few of them: 'For hands that do dishes, and catch blisters and ridges, harsh chemical, Fairly Liquid'. 'Are you p...
Read full storyPhil Ben Laden Dead
Several sources around the world have confirmed the report that the son of Osama Bin Laden, Phil Ben Laden, an al-Qaeda leader, was killed by Hellfire missiles launched from a somewhere underground. The evil spawn of bin Laden was described in US...
Read full storyPandemicflu website dispensing oinkment wirelessly
Cyberspace - (Virtual Chicken Soup Mess): A healing unguent designed for rubbing on swine flu sores is being transmitted wirelessly for the first time via a hand-held 'mouse' that feverish sufferers can glide over their troubled body parts. The go...
Read full storyMe Jane, Dead At 92, Cheetah Survives
The only actress to ever play Me Jane to two different Tarzans but only one monkey, Cheeta, Brenda Joyce, has died at the age of 92. "I always was a one-monkey woman", she had stated in 1952. Joyce, 92, passed July 4 at a Santa Monica nursing...
Read full storyScant Tongue Action Concerns Shenae Grimes Fans
LOS ANGELES, CA - Paparazzi caught up with 90210 star Shenae Grimes yesterday, capturing several images of the lovely actress leaving yoga class - none of them featuring her tongue! Grimes, who plays "Annie" on the popular series about popular peo...
Read full storySpoof Writer Takes Up Fishing
Following an emotional television advertisement, eschewing the benefits of fishing, a Spoof contributor today announced that he would be taking up the 'sport' because it made sense and was just too difficult a challenge to resist. The writer, who...
Read full storyAnother Word From Andy Rudey
Don't you just hate it when you're on an elevator and headed up towards the sixteenth floor and all the way up there are people who keep getting on at every floor until you're crushed into the back of the thing like a Christmas Walymart stampede, hardly able to breathe? Then there's always some kid who, no matter how packed we get, will still manage to whap you one in the nuts with his new toy...
Read full storyEl Quida To Open 155 US Recruiting Stations. Reaction Mixed
(AP) - Washington-In an announcement that took some by surprise, the Obama Administration will permit the radical Muslim terror group to open recruiting stations across the U.S. Saying, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," President Bar...
Read full storyShaquille O'Neal To Star In His Own Reality Show
CLEVELAND - The most recent addition to the Cleveland Cavaliers, Shaquille O'Neal, will soon be starring in his own reality series. The 7 foot 1 inch, 325 pound NBA center will soon star in the ABC reality series Hip-Hoppin' With The Shaqster.
Read full storyUlrika Jonsson named new Notts County manager
In a bid to sign a famous Swedish star to detract attention from the world's oldest football club being one of the world's worst ones, the club's owners today announced that sexy Swedish weathergirl Ulrika Jonsson was to become the English side's new...
Read full storyGeneral Motors Is Doing Real Bad - Obama Wants To Sell It
DETROIT - The United States Commission on Auto Sales has just reported that General Motors posted a 22 percent world wide drop in sales from last year. The director of the USCAS, Logwood Vonnegut, stated that he informed President Obama that he ne...
Read full storyPee-Wee Herman To Star In Reservoir Dogs II
It's just been announced that Pee-Wee Herman, aka actor Paul Reubens is to play the lead role in upcoming Hollywood blockbuster 'Reservoir Dogs II' At the moment, it's all very hush-hush with Hollywood execs and movie moguls keeping tight lipped.
Read full storyNew Toothbrushes Featuring Music From Lizzie McGuire's Hilary Duff, Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus & Wizards' Selena Gomez
Shockingly, teeth care giant company ToothyTooth4Toothbrush decided to go for new toothbrushes that feature music from Disney stars: Lizzie McGuire's Hilary Duff, Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus & Wizards' Selena Gomez but what's weirder than weird...
Read full storySwine Flu Getting More Hits Than Wire Piddle
It's just been revealed that the swine flu is getting more hits than UK based satirical website TheSpoof.com's current top writer, Wire Piddle. Nobody could ever have anticipated this development. Even UK Prime Minister with just the one eye, Gord...
Read full storyHoboken Mayor, Peter Cammarano, Known in Mafia As Vibram 'Five Fingers' Shoe
Hoboken, NJ - Hoboken Mayor, Peter Cammarano, is believed to have quite a presence in the New York underworld. Although the mayor, at 32, seems to be rather young to have any kind of reputation in 'La Cosa Nostra', it is believed that he has been ope...
Read full storyEx Marine To Gordon Ramsay - 'Outside Big Boy'
A 27 year old ex Marine from New York put gobshite celeb chef Gordon Ramsay on the back foot by offering him outside for a serious twatting. Joseph, a contestant in Hell's Kitchen USA, wasn't having any of it when Ramsay ripped into him, looking f...
Read full storyScientists Say They Have Found A Connection Between Farts & Rush Limbaugh
Researchers now believe they have found a connection between the human fart and Talk Show host Rush Limbaugh! "Our preliminary study has shown that all of the test subjects suffering from having tremendous gas attacks at any time which is embarras...
Read full storyArtificial Land - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass
The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that 30 years from now artificial land masses will be created and anchored to the bottom of the ocean floor. At present around three quarters of the planet is covered in water but this will change with the creation of artificial land masses which will be required to deal with the ever increasing population.
Read full storyIntergalactic Television - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass
The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that within 25 years technology will have improved so much that we will be able to pick up television signals from other galaxies. Who knows, your favourite soap could end up coming from Alpha Centauri and if you think you have a huge choice of channels now you could end up having millions of channels to choose from.
Read full storyAnagrammer to be sentenced today
Mrs. Anne Alice Grammer, of 13 Super-Stitium Avenue, East Northby, was today appearing in court, charge under the medieval English law that forbids people to use anagrams incorrectly. Choosing to defend herself, Mrs. Grammer said: 'Look, it's 2009, if the Pope or even Marge Simpson want anagrams they shall have them, by the Great Joannas of Rhonan Kowling!', causing outrage to the jury and pros...
Read full storyKristin Stewart: Bella Is Dead!
Actress Kristin Stewart talked to a few select reporters this morning and told everyone that "Bella" was dead, at least outside the movie theater. "I've got the best friends in the world", began the co-star of the Twilight series of movies. "Appar...
Read full storyAfghan War : French resurrect Napoleon to lead UN troops
French President Nicolas Sarkozy has told US Vice-President Joe Biden that the US and UK will soon be able to consult late Emperor Napoleon on battle tactics to employ against the Taleban in Afghanistan. Mr. Biden, on a tour of Europe, spoke to Mo...
Read full storySteven Gerrard in court for 'being an annoying Scouse git'
Liverpool footballer and underachiever Steven 'Calm Down, Calm Down' Gerrard was today appearing in court, on what the judge called 'the worst case of Scouse gittery that it has been my misfortune to hear about'. CCTV footage shows Gerrard acting...
Read full storyBush twins' lurid emails to Pentagon hacker McKinnon sparked CIA probe
London - (X-Files Mess): Filthy, explicitly suggestive emails from Bush twins Jenna and Barbara - intercepted by their father's warrantless wiretap program - were responsible for the Pentagon's bust of UFO file hacker Gary McKinnon, an extradition Ap...
Read full storyDavid v Goliath - Does He Have A Cat In Hell's Chance?
British heavyweight boxer David Haye is to fight the giant 7'2" Russian, Nikolai Valuev. Most observers regard the match up as a re-run of David v Goliath from the Old Testament. Does David stand a chance? Our boxing correspondent Lefty Hook to...
Read full storyNorth Korea threat to nuke Vatican after Kim Jong Il's cruiser seized
Pyongyang - (Rotters): North Korea is threatening to nuke the Vatican in its ballistic missal (sic) target practice program after Italian authorities raided a Palermo boatbuilder. The seizure of a $25 million yacht bound for President Kim Jong Ver...
Read full storyFrank Warren turns down Gerrard as only 1 in 3 punches land
Liverpool: Warren pulls out of promoting Gerrard fight with Becks as news emerges from a packed Liverpool Crown Courtroom that Steven Gerrard had allegedly thrown three punches, yet only one hit the defendant, during the fight that led to his charg...
Read full storyGidget Has Left Us
Maybe you don't remember the little Chihuahua from the Taco Bell commercials but many of us did for years. Gidget was the Taco Bell equivalent of the Wendy's old lady, "Where's The Beef" at about that same era. Or maybe, today insurance gecko. O...
Read full storyKelly Clarkson Says Hilary Duff Was Inspiration For New Album
American Idol Season One winner Kelly Clarkson confessed that she looked up to former friend Hilary Duff while recording her new album "All I Ever Wanted". "She's like, so cool. She's got style and charisma and I needed to see someone in the same...
Read full storyAndy Murray plays amateurs
Tennis star Andy Murray turned up to play in an amateurs match yesterday at Eastbourne. He heard that injury hit North of Scotland were short of players so Andy turned up to make up the numbers. Despite Andy being there North of Scotland were sti...
Read full storyAn Alaskan Laments- Our Sarah Is Gone.
The halls of the mansion have been cold and dark for many months, though it be the height of summer . Since the decisions of November have been cast a new wind has blown across the land and the Queens footfalls have barely been heard upon the marble floors. The rooms are empty; her spirit has gone elsewhere. Even when her physical presence is here, her spirit is not. It has stayed in the warm land...
Read full storyAnd now, a Message from Kurt Vonnegut
Mountain View, CA - Pamela Townsend and the other scientist assembled in the SETI central computer room couldn't believe what they were seeing. After hours of waiting the message that finally appeared on the monitor said simply: "The horse jumped over the fucking fence" and left. "What the hell does that mean?" she said. As the director of the Allen Telescope Array for the SETI Institute thi...
Read full storyBiden Enjoyed Ukrainian PM's Pierogi
Rumor has it that just before United States Vice President Joe Biden speaks the Obama Administration holds their collective breath. But on a recent diplomatic visit to the Ukraine it seems that Biden made a big hit. In a Disassociated Press photo Biden was shown reaching out affectionately to blonde beauty Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. The PM seemed to be having the time of her life as Biden wa...
Read full storyDems Finally Admit: "We Don't Know Shit But We Have a Czar that Does!"
The former United States of America, now resembling more of a bumbling banana republic featuring an anointed leader prone to pronouncements and official proclamations with no substance appears to be now running on auto pilot heading for a mid air super nova. Historians are busy rewriting economic history to reflect the new look Obama World which features the head of the world's largest car mak...
Read full storySwine Flu Cure Expensive But 100% Foolproof!
This is Doctor Greg Issac Adeniji and I am part of a team of doctors her in Abuja and we have wonderful news for the whole earth.......world. Our new medikation made from copyrighted ingredients is a sure fart...fire cure for the Timmy Flu. That should be, a sure far cure for the Swine Flu that we have called Soooooey! Sooooey! like that. A little joke my friend but let us be the serious. It is c...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's "Grandmother" Interviewed By Geraldo
"He was always a good little boy, not like his brothers who used to set those flaming bags of dogshit on my front porch but I could hear poor Michael getting the same treatment from their dad, even though he was innocent. Although, he must have been looking at it that one time because his hair caught on fire." This came from the never moving, staring "Grandmother" of Michael Jackson that we go...
Read full storyBee Mystery solved
Scientists who have been investigating the reason for the worldwide decline in the bee population have descended on the small town of Effen in France to carry out research as they suspect they may have had a breakthrough. They believe that bees have been killed of in their millions by swine flu I mean Bee flu started by a big EFFEN BEE.
Read full storyRepublican Money
Republicans some calling themselves British Republicans others calling themselves English, Scottish or Welsh Republicans want the UK to change immediately to the Euro currency system so that they can get rid of this money with herself on the notes or...
Read full storyAmerica Bankrupt Worldwide Economic Collapse
Americas national debt has been underestimated and kept from the the ordinary people for some time says economics expert Stanley Gold. At a press conference yesterday in New York Mr Gold said "In my estimation the USA has debts of over 100 trilli...
Read full storyWalmart's and McDonald's Success In The Midst Of A Recession Proof That God Is A True Jerk.
As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making a profit in the present recession. Both...
Read full storyPeter Pandemic Pedals Panic
A man who goes under the alias Peter Pandemic claims to have been hired by Drug Companies and the British and American Governments to stir up hysteria about swine flu. Peter says that he is bombarding news agencies with lots of scaremonger news...
Read full storySwine Flu to be diagnosed by Tarot cards
To save Doctors time swine flu is to be diagnosed over the telephone by an experienced tarot reader. If you think you have swine flu all you have to do is phone the tarot swine flu hotline and they will give you an instant diagnosis. Tarot Reader...
Read full storyLiverpool Humble Thailand National Side
In a supreme show of superior skill, strength, and Premiership know-how, the once-mighty Liverpool Football Club overpowered the minnows of South-east Asian football here in Bangkok last night. The Reds took the game to the Thais, scoring an early...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Died from Drug Induced Six Hour Erection
Los Angeles Police Department detectives expected to find all manner and means of very mean manner of painkillers and heart attack serious narcotics when they seized the doctor supplied medicine chest of the King of Pop Michael Jackson. To their surp...
Read full storyOsama bin Laden caught frozen while letting off steam!
In a calculated leak to committee members attending a closed-door session mid-season meeting of a US think-tank funded by its tax-payers, Russian Intelligence officials hinted that last winter they had apprehended Osama while he was urinating on a st...
Read full storyHarvard Prof., Henry L. Gates Jr., has a Rap Sheet with Campus Police
Cambridge, Massachusetts - The new alleged incriminating evidence comes as Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. is attempting to clear his name, after being arrested for causing a disturbance at his own home, when Cambridge police responded to a reported...
Read full storyGovernator Ahnahld Makes Love to San Diego Seals
Fresh from returning after his death defying battle with the giant squid, Governor Schwarzenegger was called to San diego to solve the problem of the endangered seals on the Children's Cove Beach. A local judge had ordered the evacuation of the seals...
Read full storySpace Shuttle Crew Answers Junior High Questions in Orbit
While orbiting the earth, the crew of the space shuttle Endeavor agreed to answer teenagers questions about space travel on Youtube. Beatsit from Raleigh, NC asked the astronauts what happens when you get a woody in your space suit? Lead Spacewalker,...
Read full storyJupiter Risks Its Ass for Earth; More than Modern Gods Have Done
Ancient Roman High God, Jupiter, has taken one for the earthling team this week by absorbing the shock of a colliding comet.Astronomers tell us that this is not the first time that Jupiter has risked its planetary ass by taking one for the team of ni...
Read full storyJackson - Small white hatchback implicated!
The MJ death mystery took a bizzare and mysterious turn today when it was revealed that a small white hatchback had been seen in the vicinity of Jacksons home in the days preceding his demise. Rumours are rife that the hatchback is eerily similar...
Read full storyManny Brings Beach Chair to Left Field, "Pushing It" Says Torre
Unpredictable Dodgers left fielder Manny Ramirez surprised even seasoned "Manny watchers" across the league during the fifth inning of a game against the Cincinnati Reds last night when he dragged a blue vinyl beach chair with him out to left field a...
Read full storyOhio Man Drowns Due to Case of the Runs
Ronald Pearl, a 21-year old from Mount Vernon, Ohio, drowned in an attempt to swim across the Ohio River into West Virginia, just after midnight, Thursday morning. His body has not been found. Frank E. Jordan, 58, of Barboursville, WV, witnessed...
Read full storyCucumber drops out of Beckham's shorts. Victoria leaves stadium in tears AGAIN
A cucumber fell out of "Football" player David Beckham's shorts during a collision on the field Wednesday afternoon. The lost veggie put an end to speculation as to just what David Beckham was packing in his pants. As it turned out, he was packing...
Read full storySarah's Shockingly Strange Surrogacy Saga
MANHATTAN,NEW YORK, USA A pair posing as police chiefs in Ohio were exposed as agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation when it was revealed today that they had illegally entered the residence of American actor Matthew Broderick and his strang...
Read full storyTaco Bell Dog, Gidget the Chihuahua, Dies Of A Stroke
Los Angeles, CA - Gidget the Taco Bell dog has died at the age of 15, the result of a stroke. Although she was in semi-retirement, she had been brought out to do 50 shows by AEG, the same entertainment company that had lured Michael Jackson out of re...
Read full storyAnn Coulter Quits Republican Party to Become Victoria's Secret Teenie Tiny Titty Model
Ann Coulter, long time Republican pin up girl, will give up partisan politics to embark upon a new career path as a Victoria's Secret lingerie model. "I have excessively round breastesses," said Coulter. "It is time now for the world to get a look...
Read full storyOmnibus Livestock Rights Bill Passed by Congress
Washington DC: President Obama has signed the Omnibus Livestock Rights Bill. This bill protects beef cattle, pigs and chickens, from undue harm until they reach your plate at the dinner table. PETA members and other animal rights groups lobbied bo...
Read full storyWWE Fans Critical of Complex "Mulholland Drive"-Inspired Storyline
Since embarking last week upon a complicated, multi-week storyline inspired by the surreal David Lynch film "Mulholland Drive" on the latest edition of WWE Monday Night RAW, fans have criticized the company for a "convoluted, non-sensical" run of sho...
Read full storyPelosi's Head Explodes: "F*ck off, we got the votes!" her last words
Nancy Pelosi, US Speaker of the House, was killed Wednesday evening during a debate on National Health Care. Her head exploded. C-Span televised the Speaker's final moments as she shouted to House Republicans, "Fuck off, you pricks; we got the vote...
Read full storySubstandard Employee Maintains Charade of Competence With Conference Call Quips
Howard Logistics Assistant Freight Manager Mike Kostoff, who has consistently failed to demonstrate any meaningful understanding of freight logistics in his four years with the company, has nevertheless been able to manufacture a mostly positive repu...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Blames Obama For Global Mess!
In his Wednesday broadcast, America's Answer Man accused 90% of the world's problems on President Barrack "Hussein" Obama! "Why is every country in the world suddenly at each other's throats over the first six months of this man's presidency?' ask...
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