Dale Winton the permatanned twinkletoed star of the 1990's was today unveiled as the romantic lead in a New Musical telling the story of a meteoric rise to power.
Lord Mandelson First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and Lord President of the Council. Prince of Darkness, Kalabah of Khazi, Ming the Merciless, Jedi Knight with Oak leaves, His High Omnipotence of Brussels, Lord High Comissioner of Comissioning Comissions,Protector and Head Gaylord of the Gay Community, Gold Blue Peter badge holder,Tufty Club Member & Freeman of the City of Hartlepool will have his life story told in a glitzy musical performance sponsored entirely by the tax payer!
Max Clifford has been hired to play Tony Blair at massive cost to the public purse. John Prescott was disappointed to miss out playing himself after narrowly losing out to Susan Boyle!
Alastair Darling was revealed as the mastermind behind the production and friends have disclosed that The Chancellor likes to think of himself as a "Scottish Bjorn" and is often referred to by colleagues as the "Fifth Member of Abba" !