Cyberspace - (Virtual Chicken Soup Mess): A healing unguent designed for rubbing on swine flu sores is being transmitted wirelessly for the first time via a hand-held 'mouse' that feverish sufferers can glide over their troubled body parts.
The government-sponsored Pandemicflu/overthecuckoosnest.con website is offering free downloads which dispense a measured dose of anti-virals via connectivity to the cybervibrator.
Anyone with a laptop or PC can download the medication wirelessly and immediately apply maintenance dosage without needless or pills.
The treatment is the brainchild of NASA's Nobel-nominated Area 51/Groom Lake professor of pandemiology Dr V Smart whose biotech research corporation holds worldwide patents.
Dr Smart's last know patient, a Mr M Jackson, died recently of completely unrelated pathology.