Written by Pointer

Thursday, 23 July 2009

image for Jupiter Risks Its Ass for Earth; More than Modern Gods Have Done
Jupiter takes another one for the earth team, OUCH!

Ancient Roman High God, Jupiter, has taken one for the earthling team this week by absorbing the shock of a colliding comet.Astronomers tell us that this is not the first time that Jupiter has risked its planetary ass by taking one for the team of nine planets. One star scientist claimed that if these comets had been allowed to enter the inner solar system and crashed into one of earth's closer neighb ors or science forbid into earth itself it could have meant the end of life as we know it here in the relatively mellow Milky Way Galaxy.

Religious scholars have begun to compare the really practical help that Jupiter has rendered earthlings compared to the gods modern mortals revere. Yahweh seems to have domne litle but give a lot of rules some of which are OK... eg. No Killing but others about tatoos and such seem kind of lame. Yeah, so this Trinity sent its kid to die for our sins...good thing... but we keep sinning...not so...

Our friend Mohammed is the prophet of Allah but his most serious followers keep blowing shit up most often themselves...really not so. Jupiter on the hand keeps saving our butts in really practical ways like literally...allowing really ginormous space rocks to kick his planetary ass to save our geocentric hides...Jupiter is GREAT!Jupiter Akbar!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Art




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