Thursday, 23 July 2009

Since embarking last week upon a complicated, multi-week storyline inspired by the surreal David Lynch film "Mulholland Drive" on the latest edition of WWE Monday Night RAW, fans have criticized the company for a "convoluted, non-sensical" run of shows that have left many scratching their heads.

"It's pretty confusing," said Tommy Rollins, 31. "I turn on RAW last week and they do a cold open with John Cena walking into his dressing room and he finds Bobby Lashley hiding behind the couch, shaking in fear and not remembering his own name. So he tells Lashley he's going to help him remember his identity. Huh? Why not just show Lashley some tape of him wrestling?"

The following week's installment only deepened fans' confusion, as Randy Orton - presumably the Adam Kesher character - is menaced by the Undertaker in his "Cowboy from Hell" gimmick and told to retain the services of Katie Burchill as his valet.

"How come Legacy didn't show up and attack the Undertaker from behind?" wondered Sam Fennig, 17. "Come to think of it, how come there hasn't been any wrestling on RAW at all for two weeks? I guess you can maybe count the Boogeyman's sneak attack on Rey Mysterio in the parking lot, but that just came out of nowhere and it hasn't been mentioned since. Even King and Michael Cole don't seem to know what the hell is going on."

Word of "Mulholland Drive" parallels did excite the fan base briefly as RAW watchers quickly ascertained from plot synopses online that there would be a lesbian scene of some type during the storyline, and speculation was rife on Internet message boards as to the identity of the Divas who would participate.

However, as one user pointed out, WWE "probably wouldn't get that far, as based on recent storyline launches, they'll lose interest in this one by the next PPV and drop it with no explanation."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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