At approximately 11:18 PM on July 23, a patron at the Steak 'N Shake off Jefferson Blvd in Overland Park, Kansas registered the first known sighting of Michael Jackson since his death on June 25 of this year.
"Definitely him," said local parking attendant Vicki Cogville, 41. "I was inside having a steakburger and a shake, and this real skinny guy comes in by himself, and he's real pale too, and he sat down at a booth. Well I looked at him and I just knew it was Michael Jackson. I couldn't believe his waitress wasn't picking up on it."
Unfortunately, the witness was not able to confirm her sighting, as, she explained, "I got up to go to the bathroom, and then I was going to ask to take my picture with him, but when I got out, he was gone. Apparently he just had a shake or something."
Sociologists are surprised at the timing of the incident, as according to Cornell professor Bernard Phillips, "typically you don't get these dead celebrity sightings until at least six months have elapsed since the individual passed away."
Philips did note, however, that the rest of the account is consistent with this type of sighting.
"Oh yeah, this is a textbook 'Elvis sighting,' if you will," said the professor. "Witness with a GED-level education or lower, making under $35,000 a year, unremarkable sighting location, in this case a low-end chain diner, and as I understand it, the witness owns an inordinate number of whitewash jeans. You can check all the boxes on this one."
The professor went on to say that now the first report is "out of the barn," the public could expect to begin hearing of the late King of Pop's appearances at truck stops, post offices, rural fairgrounds, and train stations.