Researchers now believe they have found a connection between the human fart and Talk Show host Rush Limbaugh!
"Our preliminary study has shown that all of the test subjects suffering from having tremendous gas attacks at any time which is embarrassing and is the suspected carrier of the Swine Flu Virus, were regular listeners of the Rush Limbaugh Show", say Doctor Fudgeflinger
"The more time they spent listening to Limbaugh, the worse their attacks, ranging from a fizzle after ten minutes to a room-clearing horse-like burst that is suspected of scattering the Swine Flu virus, although tests, as you can probably hear from the roar in the back room, are still going on.
"Once we get them to turn off that radio, they begin feeling better and so do those around them", Dr. Gina Hunt, Head of Research at the University of St Judes Hospital, explains. "Normally, we never see results that fast and significant. Of course, most need to be weaned off ten minutes a day until the full three hours are up"
Fudgeflinger says that although the tests are not over, he is hopeful that these findings will answer a lot of questions as to what causes this elevator horror, and "will open the door" for future studies as well.
"Apparently, all that gas over the radio waves somehow hone in on the receivers, although we don't know how. However, we do know that there were many more cases of hemorrhoids during the old "Ironside" shows on TV."