Written by Bureau

Thursday, 23 July 2009

image for Phil Ben Laden Dead
Phil In His Younger Days

Several sources around the world have confirmed the report that the son of Osama Bin Laden, Phil Ben Laden, an al-Qaeda leader, was killed by Hellfire missiles launched from a somewhere underground.

The evil spawn of bin Laden was described in US secret intelligence dossiers as a ringleader who made "key decisions for al Qaeda and was part of a small group of al Qaeda members that was involved in managing the terrorist organization from Iran, Syria or Saudi Arabia. "We fired at all three spots. Sorry about the collateral damage."

Phil bin Laden who has the blood of dozens of Westerners on his hands from a post 9-11 bombing is believed to have been sent packing to Kingdom Come a few months back -- his death first reported by India news agencies, NPR, Long War Journal. and The Onion.

According to former National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell, Phil spent years under house arrest in Iran before escaping while the person back of the house took a quick pee and he crawled out from under and made his way to Pakistan last year.

A high ranking U.S. counterterrorism source told NPR that with no tiny piece of corpus delecti for DNA testing, they can't be completely sure but U.S. spy agencies, the source said, are "80 to 85 percent" certain that Phil bin Laden has ate his last barbecued goat.

His father, Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the 9-11 attacks remains at large. His suspected location: the Paki-Afghan-India-Kashmir-China-Vietnam,-Laos-Thailand-Cambodian sector.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Osama Bin Laden




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