David v Goliath - Does He Have A Cat In Hell's Chance?

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 23 July 2009

image for David v Goliath - Does He Have A Cat In Hell's Chance?
A Big Scary Green Giant Pictured This Morning.

British heavyweight boxer David Haye is to fight the giant 7'2" Russian, Nikolai Valuev. Most observers regard the match up as a re-run of David v Goliath from the Old Testament.

Does David stand a chance?

Our boxing correspondent Lefty Hook told us:

"Haye can be a bit tasty at times, but Valuev is a monster. He's 7'2" tall, eats 3 kilos (6.6lbs) of meat a day, and hits like a grizzly bear. Personally, I think Haye is a lunatic to consider fighting this guy."

Haye himself told a TV news channel that Valuev was like a big zombie, and that he intended to beat him using speed and by coming at him at odd angles.

This reporter can only report that if I saw Valuev coming towards me, I'd be running for the hills like a jackrabbit, let alone trying to hit him.

We tried to speak to Valuev but he was too busy eating raw meat and growling to come to the phone.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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