Written by Bureau

Thursday, 23 July 2009

image for Kristin Stewart: Bella Is Dead!

Actress Kristin Stewart talked to a few select reporters this morning and told everyone that "Bella" was dead, at least outside the movie theater.

"I've got the best friends in the world", began the co-star of the Twilight series of movies. "Apparently, I have been slipping into the personality of "Isabella Swan/Cullen" whom I play in the Twilight series and not even realizing it."

"Two days ago, some of my best friends and I were at a party and I must have gotten into the Bella role and after everyone at my table stopped talking, I asked them what was the matter. That was when they started telling me what I had been doing for weeks now apparently."

"But you know what I did, I refused to believe it. I said they may have overheard me practicing using the voice sometimes when I had stopped to think about how Bella would have reacted to something said and that it was only normal for actors to practice anytime it occurred to them."

"Then there was last night. I went to bed early and awakened about 1AM and as I laid there, I began thinking about whether I should become a vampire or not. I suddenly sat straight up in bed and asked myself, 'WHAT AM I DOING?' I'm Kristen Stewart, not some person named Isabella."

"So, again the good friends, I called two of them up and told them what had happened. Then early this morning I got a call from both Robert (Pattinson) and Stephenie Meyer, the writer. Robert had been dropping some hints lately and now Stephenie has told me of her own problems in writing the books, only those were dreams she had."

"So, I think I can do this on my own but if I need help, I'll get it. Whichever way it goes, Bella is dead!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kristin Stewart




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