Tiping Mistaks Spel Disastah For Kanadeean Job Sekers
Kanadeean job sekers are fayling to apli for jobs sucksessfuly becose theyr spelin is not up to a gud enuf standahd. Now the Canadeean gufernment want to insest that standahds of spelin in Torontoh skools impruves so that the vacahnsees are all feeld...
Read full storyBush Administration "Smart Technology" Odyssey Hampers U.S. Census
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U. S. Census Bureau faces challenges in the wake of "an odyssey begun in 2001" with the installation of "smart software" by the Bush administration. Six states have begun allowing same-sex marriages in the years since the la...
Read full storyCatholic Church Hellbent On World Domination
The Catholic Church has secret plans to take over the world. These plans have only recently been uncovered by our correspondent following a trip to the local pub. On his return he discovered that the Catholic church has made plans which could lead to...
Read full storyJessica Simpson/Tony Romo Breakup Removes Cowboy Curse?
When he was asked a few weeks ago about what he had planned for Jessica Simpson's birthday July 10, Dallas Cowboy Quarterback, Tony Romo told everyone, "It's a secret." So I guess a kick in the ass out the door works best by surprise. After earlie...
Read full storyCowboy Tony Romo Dumps His Cowgirl Jessica Simpson
DALLAS - Well it looks like football season is right around the corner. And evidence of that is the fact that Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has dumped his girlfriend Jessica Simpson (Ashlee's sister). And the interesting part is that "Touch...
Read full storyAldrin, Armstrong 'biggest liars in the cosmos for the past 40 years'
NASA HQ, Groom Lake, Nevada - (X-Files Mess): Thursday's fortieth anniversary of the biggest, dirtiest lie in the history of space exploration will see Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin continue basking in the reflected limelight of their outrageous 196...
Read full storyMystery Cola Introduces "Jackson's Head On Fire", A Tribute
News out of Purchase, New York is that a mystery cola, one of the top three colas in the world, is bringing out ten new flavored soft drinks with cans that show Michael Jackson with his head on fire. "We've got something for every taste and every...
Read full storyIrish And Chinese Blamed For Population Explosion
A World Health Organisation spokesman today blamed the Irish and the Chinese for an unsustainable explosion in the population of the planet. With 1.2 billion citizens, the role of the Chinese in the breeding process is explicable, but the Irish, w...
Read full storyTony Blair to play Micheal Jacksons tour dates
Shockwaves - In a sensational comeback Tony Blair is to reform his band 'ugly rumours' and fill the 50 vacant tour dates, left since Micheal Jacksons death /murder /abduction /accidental overdose /overdose /heart attack or whatever. Sensational.
Read full storyElizabeth Taylor Hospitalized Grieving Over Michael Jackson's Death
Elizabeth Taylor has reportedly been hospitalized in Los Angeles for her grief over the death of her close friend Michael Jackson. The New York Post reports that Ms. Taylor is suffering from "weakness, tiredness, the shingles, exhaustion, Swine Fl...
Read full storyMayor of London Clucking Mad
Boris Johnson has gone clucking mad. That is the opinion of Londoners this evening. Earlier today old bonking Boris was asked about his other job as a newspaper columnist. The pay is in the region of £250, 000 per year. Johnson's response was typical...
Read full storyManchester City FC Buy The Premiership Lock, Stock and Oil Barrel
Manchester City announced today that they have bought every club in the Premiership to fast track winning the title. Chairman Khaldoon al Mubarak explained that other clubs "were looking to juice them for all that they're worth," when it came to b...
Read full storyChicago cemetery desecration plot smokescreen thickens
Chicago, Illinois - (Rioters): A covert police operation to find and exhume the body of the missing first Mrs Barack Obama is being spun as local graverobber hell at Chicago's Burr Oak cemetery. Lydia Obama died suddenly in mysterious circumstanc...
Read full storyChamone Crushed To Death In Garbage Plant
Sadly, it had an air of inevitability about it. A bit like Janet Leigh in Psycho, it all had to end in tears and shreiking violins. Reports coming in on the wire (?) told us that Chamone was dead at last. The hapless Spoof reporter apparently got...
Read full storyMan's Diet goes Disastrously Wrong - Gains 20 Stone!
A local man getting ready for a fun-run wanted to cut down on some pounds in order to get in shape. But his misreading of the instructions on a carton of diet pills has led to his increasing in weight from a mere 11 stone 6lbs to a massive 31 stone 8...
Read full storyRonaldo Gets His Balls Busted
Portuguese pin-up Cristiano Ronaldo was left in tears after having his training footballs busted by a supporter from a rival club, while on tour in Ireland. The Real Madrid sensation was eager to take a few of his legendary free kicks but discovered...
Read full storyComedian Completely Misjudges Audience By Telling Lots of Knock-Knock Jokes
Local amateur stand-up comedian Jeff Browne ruined an otherwise perfectly lovely evenings entertainment at a local fleapit by telling knock-knock jokes Patrons booed and hissed and tossed used condoms and dirty nappies at the un-funny man until he ev...
Read full storyDeep Mystery Still Surrounds Case of Prostitute who can Offer 'Services' and Whistle at the Same Time
Local whorehouse 'performer' Janice Bigguns has become the object of much speculation following claims that she can somehow manage to whistle while engaged in certain acts. Lorleen LaRue has been 'entertaining' clients with her duel talents of you...
Read full storyMan Who Glued Hand To His Penis Claims It Was All A Terrible Accident
A local 45-year old man was receiving treatment in hospital following an accident in which he glued his right hand to his penis. Donald Davies said that he was unscrewing the cap on the glue and all of a sudden his pants just miraculously fell dow...
Read full storyMan who Swore to Eat his Hat if Michael Jackson died aged 50, Eats Hat
Larry Azziz made a solemn vow to eat his hat if pop singer Michael Jackson died before reaching 51, and yesterday he was made stick to that promise during a local hat-eating ceremony. Watched by dozens of confused spectators, Larry, 68, gobbled down...
Read full storyLocal Ear Wax Museum Branded 'Disgusting'
A new museum featuring lifelike impressions of famous people created entirely using ear wax has been branded "disgusting" and "vomit inducing". Visitors to Blackpool's Museum of Ear Wax are welcomed with sculptures created from ear effluent of Jad...
Read full storyPETA Women to Breast Feed Bed Bugs in New "Compassion Tour"
"Damned lunacy." That's just one reaction to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' (PETA's) latest campaign to heighten awareness of the importance of the world's creatures, including the smaller ones. PETA members have historically ex...
Read full storyToo Many Scottish People
A survey suggests that there are too many Scottish people and that there should be a cull. The Scottish have become a problem since being introduced in an attempt to rid us of the Welsh and the Irish, the main infestation occuring in an area known as...
Read full storySchwarzenegger Agrees to Sell California Back to Indians for $24 in Glass Beads
Gov. Schwarzenegger agreed today to sell California to a syndicate of Western Native American Indians Tribes for $24 in glass beads. The deal was finalized after the Mexican government pulled out of the negotiations after the Governor rejected the...
Read full storyTougher Benefit Tests To Catch Scroungers
Nine out of ten Brits claiming incapacity benefit are fit enough to work, a study has found. The majority of them were well enough to hold down a job, it has been revealed. The government can now slash the £12.5 billion a year cost to the taxpayer...
Read full story"Make Me A Zombie" Jackson Begged Doctors
Michael Jackson was so addicted to the powerful drug Depravedivan that he begged to be "put under" it has been claimed. The singer was "put under" exactly as he wished. He had previously spent up to 72 hours living "like a corpse". Unfortunately e...
Read full storyCheney Donates 'Special' Materials To Bush's Presidential Library.
Dear Georgie Porgie, I hope you don't mind me still using your secret pet name that we all used while you were still in office. I am happy to hear that you are enjoying your retirement since the end of the presidency shooting rabbits and catching up on the comics you missed. I have here the book recommendations you wanted for your new presidential library. I have been reading or skimm...
Read full storyGovernment And Real IRA In Deal To Solve Youth Crime
The Government has announced a major new initiative to tackle young offenders. At the same time they hope to solve the issue of peace in Northern Ireland by doing a deal with the Real IRA. The plan is to make young offenders wear orange. Once the...
Read full storySarah Palin is Back - Pulled a Fast One on the Press
Anchorage, Ak. - With a wink, a smile and a "gotcha" Sarah Palin announced today that she has 'changed her mind' and will remain the Governor of Alaska. "You people really are gullible if you think I'd give up leather Armani jackets for pleather...
Read full storyBillie Jean King dragged into Michael Jackson/ Jordan Chandler furor
New York - (Grand Slam Thank-You-Ma'am Mess): Ageing ex-world women's tennis champion Bille Jean Moffit King has been dragged into the controversy of who fathered Michael Jackson's children after David Gest's son Jordan Chandler tested DNA positive.
Read full story653 - 13 Off 666 - A Spooky Coincidence
An unnamed writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com was said to be nervous and anxious as he filed his 653rd Spoof News item. Using basic mathematics, the writer deduced that he was a mere 13 stories away from the satanic 666 figure, and that 13...
Read full storyIOUs not working; Schwarzenegger auctions off California to pay her creditors
Sacramento, California - Sitting on a lawn chair outside in the shadow of the rotunda of the State Capitol of California in Sacramento in the front row with his auction paddle at the ready, President Barack Obama took his seat with other dignitaries...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's body rejected by science
Michael Jackson's final request before he "Beat It" was that his body should be left to science. However, for the first time ever in its thoudand-year history, science today rejected a bequeathed body when it turned Jackson's body away at the gate...
Read full storyMy Chopper Hell!
Pensioner Pam Dingle has spoken of her chopper hell. The keen gardener no longer tends to her garden. This is because of the antics of her neighbour Peter Schweitzer. "He's out there all the time with his chopper out. It's disgusting. I haven't seen...
Read full storyJoe Jackson To Manage The New Jackson Three
LOS ANGELES - The patriarch of the singing Jackson family, Joe Jackson has stated that he will be managing the careers of Michael's three children. The elder Jackson, has been called a Svengali by several Jackson family members. LaToya said that h...
Read full storyShoe Salesman Comes To Spoof Town
A famous shoe salesman came to town today trying to sell his collection of shoes. They were all specially crafted in China, made from genuine dissident skin and were of the very highest quality. "Who will buy my wonderful shoes?" he asked. He was...
Read full storyThank You For The Music: Conductor And Wife In Swiss Clinic Suicide
One of Britain's best loved conductors has taken his life and that of his wife at a Swiss clinic. Dick Phillpot was 83 years old, blind and deaf. He had become increasingly distressed at finding out that he shared a name with a man who had two penise...
Read full storyLily Allen to open to the public
It was announced today that popular singer Lily allen is to open to the public. Thanks to a lottery funding grant, the singer will be opening on alternative Sundays during the Autumn. Fans will be able to step in and look around to discover what m...
Read full storyRoyal Mail Delivers Industrial Action
Royal Mail workers are to stage a day of industrial action this Friday. Union leaders have said that they have been forced into taking action. "It's the last thing any Union leader wants to do" said Charlie Trotsky "but our hands are tied. We have co...
Read full storyBeckham And Jolie Not To Pose Together
David Beckham today denounced the story that he was to appear in a rauchy pose with Angelina Jolie as "something in the press." It still remains a mystery to Beckham as to how the story got out. He asked his agent who responded with a wink and said "...
Read full storyClark Kent Can't Find Phone Booth, Oil Tanker Crashes
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The California Highway Patrol and several Northern California Sheriffs' Departments tonight launched a manhunt for Clark Kent, 35, who aroused suspicions when he was seen frantically searching the streets of San Francisco's touris...
Read full storyRoyal Mail strike cancelled - strike notices are lost
The threatened Royal Mail strike has been called off. The news was given at a press conference held in the Cheam Post Office this morning. Speaking to journalists, Adam Dozy, the Royal Mail's chief executive, said that unions had no option but to...
Read full storyPenguins Trained To Fight
Australia: A group of rare Penguins are being trained in armed and unarmed combat. Initially the plan was for them to be able to defend themselves. However, the Australians have now seen the opportunity to develop the scheme further. Bruce Phillpot o...
Read full storyIrishman moves abroad after watching documentary
Irishman Cillian Murphy from Dublin known to his friends as silly has immigrated to The Canary Islands to get more Sunshine after watching a documentary on television in which it explains that the sun loses 4 million tons a second. Mr Murphy recko...
Read full storySwine Flu: Keep It In Perspective Urges Minister
As the death toll rises and the nation moves towards a cataclysmic disaster Secretary of State Andy Burnham has called for calm. Just days after a child and a doctor had become the latest victims he said "I think we should keep it in perspective."...
Read full storyGoogle Hacked ; 3 person caught
Mountain View, CA The more-than-a-decade-website, has been hacked successfully today. The popular search engine, Google, has been hacked by 3 hackers named "WhySoAwesome", "SoMuchwin" and "EpicFailure". The motive of the three hackers hacking G...
Read full story'Man Dies of Dying' Shock
A man today died in England, after living for 89 years, from what medical experts have called 'dying' Speaking from the Scarling College of Mongerborough, in Little Sillyseason, Wessex, Professor Grant Milker said: 'This is a major worry for the p...
Read full storyDick Cheney Shoots Leon Panetta in the Face
WASHINGTON, D.C. - "Take that, motherf*cker!!" former Vice President Dick Cheney is reported to have shouted as he peppered CIA Director Leon Panetta with bird shot earlier this afternoon, according to a report filed by Pentagon officials. Witness...
Read full storyBrown right behind you
Gordon Brown claims to be the best Prime Minister ever. in a recent interview he said I am the best person for the job. I am the best Prime Minister that ENGLAND I mean BRITAIN I mean THE UNITED KINGDOM has ever had. Its not my fault that the economy is a mess and MPS are claiming up to £200,000 a year in expenses. I only had 100 trillion pounds of North Sea oil revenue to work with as fir...
Read full storyThe immortal man
In a visit to a waxworks in London, a man was spotted acting strangely talking to customers claiming he knew some of the historical characters that were wax dummies even although they had died hundreds of years ago. I approached him and asked him if he would like to go for a cup of tea. He agreed and we proceeded to the tearoom. I ordered a cup of tea and a sandwich but strangely he did not wa...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Life - A Hoax
Entertainment insiders have admitted that Michael Jackson was a hoax and have confessed that none of his life happened and that it was all a careful illusion using state-of-the-art plastics and magic tricks. The project was developed by the CIA in...
Read full storySarah Palin To Enter Nunnery
(Igloo Trash)Former Alashka Governor Sarah Palin will retire from public life and become a Roman Catholic Nun, according to Sources Close to the dim-witted twit. "My tenure has Governor has been one long nightmare for the Citizens of the Grate Sta...
Read full storyEconomy Causes Edgar Winter Group to Discontinue Free Rides
In May of 1973, the Edgar Winter Group won over scores of fans with their upbeat music, carefree style, and promise of a free ride. When the group itself disbanded, its members pledged to continue offering free rides as long as they received mainstr...
Read full storyHomosexual Activity Killing Business at Adam Lambert's Taco Stand
SAN DIEGO, CA - Adam Lambert had a good thing going until a gay couple started frequenting Bistek Mariposa; now he can't turn a profit anymore, said the beleaguered America's Got Idols near-miss and one-man tabloid fodder generator. "That's so nas...
Read full storyTeenage Manchester United Striker Stolen
Manchester United's striker problem worsened yesterday when it was announced that Federico Macheda had been stolen. It is believed that two men broke into his house and stole the young striker while he slept. Police have begun their investigations...
Read full storyPope Wants Economic Justice for All Straight Men
In a widely distributed Papal Encyclical, Papa Benedict the Sixteenth has reinforced the controversial economic justice prophecy of the last 150 years of Catholic social teaching, despite the fact that it drives rich Roman catholic free marketers bon...
Read full storyBargis Tryhol Agent 004, Chapter 8: Bargis Takes the Stage!
Bargis Tryhol, aka Agent 004, aka The Man With the World's Largest Penis was a cautious man. How else would he have been able to stay in the game for so long if he weren't? But as he got out of his Alfa Romero and surveyed the scene something nagged at his unconcious. The street was clogged with traffic; expensive forigen cars creeped along as their respective drivers kept an eye out for par...
Read full storyMel Gibson Directs Knives at Pregnant Girlfriend
Traditionalist Catholic Mel Gibson insisted that his hands be the hands that drove the nails into the crucified actor playing Jesus in The Passion of the Christ. This same devout religious believer abandoned his wife of thirty years who is also the m...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse's Pilgrimmage to Shrine of Saint Lushes
Amy Winehouse recently dropped out of sight and rehab was the best guess of those who know and mock her best. this time the therapy Miss Wino sought was not that of the twelve steps or Freud's analysis. instead Amy in the tradition of her ancient Eng...
Read full storyVandals Deface World Famous Las Vegas Sign
LAS VEGAS - Independent Security Guard Dibber Dunphy said that as he was making his rounds he looked up at the Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada sign and noticed that someone had tagged it with graffiti. Dunphy immediately called the Las Vegas...
Read full storyBleakely Shows her Beaver on Honey Chiles Moped
The paparazzi were out in their usual droves as Adrian Honey Chiles putted up to the Christine Bleakley's Bleak House to give her a ride on his put- put. Chiles displayed some second thoughts about his co-stars tinie weenie yet often versatile black...
Read full storyRepubs Ask Wise Latina to Make Lechon Asado
Republicans on the judiciary committee believe that they have come up with a clever test for Sotomayor's fitness for the Supreme Court of the United States. Mormon Orin Hatch hatched the scheme during one of his Big Love episodes. The plot goes somet...
Read full storyLautner and Pattinson "Show down" Wolf finally gone mad
At excatly 2:00 a.m Taylor Lautner was spotted outside of Olive Garden. He seemed very upset about something. A very close source told us that Lautner Apparently was waiting for his co-star Robert Pattinson. The unconfirmed source said that Robert...
Read full storyWaterboarding - Olympic Squads Selected
All the competing democracies have now selected and announced their Waterboarding teams. With a history stretching back to the Pol Pot regime in post-Vietnam Kampuchea and perfected by a number of countries since, Waterboarding is about to become...
Read full storyBabies Aren't Cute Says Father Of Newborn
Anti-baby campaigner George C Cain told TheSpoof.com today that there is nothing cute about babies. "A one-off gave birth to my child tonight," a shuddering Cain told us. "We didn't have a relationship, but we did sleep together as I recall, and t...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Reveals Tour de France Secret
Lance Armstrong not only took the yellow jacket after winning the last leg of the Tour de France but admits he has been taking home the two yellow dress clad Tour de France ingénues that flank the winners podium, Solange and Merriam, for some time no...
Read full storyDavid Gest is Jordan Chandler's father says Minnelli
Los Angeles - (New York New York Mess): LAPD investigators on the trail of Michael Jackson's assassins have subpoenaed Liza Minelli's 2003 divorce deposition files. A sworn statement claims ex-husband David Gest fathered Jordan Chandler, 29, subs...
Read full story"Baywatch" The Movie In 3D? Or 44DD?
Hollywood, California - The new producer of "Baywatch " the movie got the idea after seeing "Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" in 3D and "Transformers 2: The Fallen" while watching Megan Fox running in slow motion wearing those tight hip-hugging whit...
Read full storySimon Cowbell Reveals Second Talent!
Following a phone conversation with Simon Cowbell regarding an embarrasssing for all-concerned moment when Cowbell went mental playing the spoons and other cutlery to Booker T And The MG's Stax classic, 'Soul Limbo' aka the BBC cricket theme, the Spo...
Read full storySimon Cowbell Reveals His Own Idol X-Factor Talent!
Ultra scathing audition show host, Simon Cowbell, has revealed that he actually is blessed with a couple of talents of his own. The man who elevated levels of musical and televisual entertainment to a level of utter shite, responded to criticism b...
Read full storyHealth Care Reform Bill to Include a Food Amendment
Washington DC: A two decade study of monkeys has found that reducing calories by almost a third slowed their aging and fended off death. Calorie reduction also delays the diseases of aging in primates, namely rhesus monkeys. Dr. Edward Fujimoto no...
Read full storyMedical Emergency On Jet Caused By Burst Breast Implant
Los Angeles, CA - A medical emergency was declared on an Aeroflot plane last month. On June 13th Flight SU-321, from Moscow Sheremetyevo (Russia) to Los Angeles , was given priority landing as a result of a female passenger, Svetlana Starlight, 45,...
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