Lance Armstrong Reveals Tour de France Secret

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Lance Armstrong Reveals Tour de France Secret
It's how you handle the curves that count.

Lance Armstrong not only took the yellow jacket after winning the last leg of the Tour de France but admits he has been taking home the two yellow dress clad Tour de France ingénues that flank the winners podium, Solange and Merriam, for some time now as well.

"Truth be known, these two girls are the secret to my superhuman strength and endurance," the champion admitted wryly.

"First I train with Solange for strength. I have to pump hard to keep up while conserving my strength for the beautiful peaks that lie ahead."

"It's not how fast you are on the straight-aways but how you handle the curves that count."

"Coming down I have to brake at a narrow neck which I follow being careful not to fall coming down the back road to some more mountains, wider and not as high as the other ones but just as beautiful in their own right."

"Then its time for Merriam who specializes in speed. I can hardly keep up after Solange so I try to pace myself in the middle stretch before reaching the fragrant triangular woods which are quite beautiful, despite being humid, a place I'd like to spend more time in when I retire."

"Then just as she picks up the pace I see a gap and go for it."

"Merriam does her best to hold with me but at the last second I manage to pull away as she cries out."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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