Written by Earl Grey

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Tougher Benefit Tests To Catch Scroungers
"Your Move"

Nine out of ten Brits claiming incapacity benefit are fit enough to work, a study has found. The majority of them were well enough to hold down a job, it has been revealed.

The government can now slash the £12.5 billion a year cost to the taxpayers. The new regulations are set to be rolled out across the UK next year following a successful pilot scheme.

Tory spokesperson Lord Scrooge said "personally I would have sold them all for scrap years ago. Or to those life science chappies to save the monkeys."

One case which is to be reviewed is that of Stephen H, who has claimed a fortune over the years for wheelchairs and voice synthesizers. Yet under the pilot scheme it was discovered that he had the perfect attributes to record the voice for electronic chess. "Stephen is going to be sent to work soon. It is a substantial saving" said a Department for Work and Pensions spokesperson.

Stephen was asked to comment. "Illegal move".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Benefits




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