Written by Chamone

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Man Who Glued Hand To His Penis Claims It Was All A Terrible Accident
I'm innnocent, damnit!

A local 45-year old man was receiving treatment in hospital following an accident in which he glued his right hand to his penis.

Donald Davies said that he was unscrewing the cap on the glue and all of a sudden his pants just miraculously fell down around his ankles, just as several calendars featuring semi-naked images of that hot girl from the L'Oreal ads randomly scattered around the place. To preserve his dignity, Davies claims he reached for his nether regions and became stuck.

Sceptics have frowned on this explanation saying that it is highly unlikely for the two events to happen simultaneously. They also have asked questions about what he was doing with the glue in the first place.

Davies' track record also doesn't help his defence much either: he was previously hospitalised for getting his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner hosepipe, while another time he needed surgery to remove four AA batteries from his rectum.

"I'm an innocent man. It could happen to anyone!", pleased Davies yesterday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Penis




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
33 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more