Written by Chamone

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Man Who Glued Hand To His Penis Claims It Was All A Terrible Accident
I'm innnocent, damnit!

A local 45-year old man was receiving treatment in hospital following an accident in which he glued his right hand to his penis.

Donald Davies said that he was unscrewing the cap on the glue and all of a sudden his pants just miraculously fell down around his ankles, just as several calendars featuring semi-naked images of that hot girl from the L'Oreal ads randomly scattered around the place. To preserve his dignity, Davies claims he reached for his nether regions and became stuck.

Sceptics have frowned on this explanation saying that it is highly unlikely for the two events to happen simultaneously. They also have asked questions about what he was doing with the glue in the first place.

Davies' track record also doesn't help his defence much either: he was previously hospitalised for getting his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner hosepipe, while another time he needed surgery to remove four AA batteries from his rectum.

"I'm an innocent man. It could happen to anyone!", pleased Davies yesterday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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