Pensioner Pam Dingle has spoken of her chopper hell. The keen gardener no longer tends to her garden. This is because of the antics of her neighbour Peter Schweitzer. "He's out there all the time with his chopper out. It's disgusting. I haven't seen one since my husband Robert passed away. This is just too much to bare."
It appears that Mr Schweitzer is making use of a little known Suffolk bylaw which enables men over 60 to display their chopper in their back garden. Mrs Dingle went to the Police. "At first they were pretty confident that they could get an asbo against the cock, but then they measured it. At only 3 inches there is nothing they can do." As the law stands only penises greater than 6 inches can have an asbo placed against them. It would seem that Mr Schweitzer is in the clear. The retired air steward has a heart condition and finds the fresh air to his penis very helpful. Dr Andrew Levy said "Fresh air and having the wind gently blow around the bell end can be very good for the elderly."
Mrs Dingle could launch civil proceedings. However, legal expert James Punch-Line said "It may never stand up in court."