This year's 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here' is so crap that presenters Ant and Dec have taken drastic steps to try and boost their flagging ratings.
For a starter, both presenters will present the show naked.
Ant (the slightly taller, black-haired one on the left) said he has no problem with nudity: "I'm quite fond of gettin' me bits out!", he said in a strange Geordie dialect.
Dec (the shorter, lighter-haired, more 'effete' one on the right) said he would take it up the ass but only for the sake of the show, before winking suggestively and licking his little lips. Naughty boy!
The contestants have been told to have more orgies. If they don't they will be denied coverage which will surely ruin their pathetic attempts at a media career.
The bush-tucker trial will now be renamed the Bush-F*cker trial. I don't think I need explain what that entails.
To save on cost, the remainder of the series will be filmed in a Newcastle housing estate where, it is said, strange freakish creatures in stiletto's and pink cowboy hats lurk and only appear at night-time, combing the vicinity for any man or beast capable of sexual activity.