Leader of lunacy, Nick Griffin, is to undergo facial correction surgery to level up the subsidance in his face.
The BNP leader has been looking more and more like he's suffering from a stroke, as his face plummets on one side.
LSC, the London Scaffold Company, are to erect a tower up the left hand elevation of his boatrace in the hopes of firming up the ever descending jowls.
"My left eye is nearly level with my right nostril now," said Griffin, "it really needs sorting."
"I opted for a British firm to carry out the work, because you can't trust the foreign fly-by-night face surgeons. For too long they have been putting the humble English lay abouts to shame, with their haphazard methods and midday siesta's," he continued.
The work is set to begin in late December and should be completed by mid-March. Taxpayers are assured they will not foot the bill.
"If I was a Conservative or Labour politician, then I'd obviously charge it to my expenses, but I'm an honest and level headed, if you'll pardon the pun, man of means, so I'll get my party supporters to pay instead," he crooned.
