Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

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image for Jessica Simpson Loses 95 Pounds And Says She Did It To Get Tony Romo Back
Jessica Simpson wants Tony Romo back in the worst way.

MALIBU BEACH - Jessica Simpson who went on the world-famous Yoki Nishimura Japanese Diet has lost 95 pounds.

Simpson said that the diet consists of eating nothing but sushi. She said that she had sushiburgers, sushi tacos, and sushi pizza.

And for a beverage she drank sugarless sushi milk shakes.

Jessica says that she is still madly in love with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and that she will do anything to win him back. She says that she knows that the real reason he dumped her in the first place is because she put on a lot of weight.

So she figured that if she lost it she will get him back. She said that she misses the cute football phrases he would incorporate into their love sessions such as "One Omaha, Two Omaha, hut," and "Long slant Yankee blue on two," and "Flea flicker Charlie Bravo set on three."

When she was asked that there must be hundreds of nice Hollywood types she could pick from she replies that she does not want a Hollywood type she wants a rugged Texas type.

Jessica has said that all she wants for Christmas is to have Tony back in her bed and telling her that she is the best looking blonde that he has ever put it to.

Tony was asked if there is any chance that he will ask Jessica back. He smiled and said that he has always loved her and that it's just that it was all about this 'jinx' thing that was first started by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

Tony went on to say that what red-blooded American guy would not want to wake up with Jessica Simpson beside him.

In an unrelated story. In an unprecedented move, the Women's Wrestling Alliance has mandated that all female wrestler's must submit to a gender test. And if the female wrestler is in fact found to possess a penis she will be barred from the WWA and fined $8,000.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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