Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for One Of The World's Leading Psychiatrists Says Tiger Woods Took His Nickname Too Literally
Tiger Woods pet tiger, Master Hole-In-One.

BUDAPEST, Hungary - One of the world's leading psychiatrist Vinci Miskovic of Budapest said that he blames Tiger Woods problems on his nickname.

Growing up with the nickname Tiger, whose real name is Eldrick Tont Woods, young Eldrick was expected to live up to his name. As a child it was very difficult for him due to the fact that he was so skinny, so puny, and so frail as hell.

Some of the neighborhood kids actually started calling him Kitty. As he grew older it became even more difficult because he was taunted all throughout middle school and high school where he was called not only called "Kitty" but also "Pus*y."

As a result of all the taunting Tiger turned to playing golf, since at 6 foot 2, 117 pounds he could not play football, baseball, basketball, or even girl's basketball.

He was too skinny to be on the swimming team because he looked like a minnow. He did become a member of the chess team but he was disqualified when it was learned that he was prone to cheating.

So by turning to golf he was able to accomplish what those who cannot play other sports do. And he became quite good. His first year after turning pro he managed to enter 159 tournaments and he won 158.

The only one he did not win was the Lake Charles Cajun - Creole Open Invitational and that was because on the 7th hole he got attacked by a swarm of Louisiana bayou mosquitoes and he was unable to continue

Dr. Miskovic said that if Woods' nickname had instead been "Bubba," or "Slim," or even "Putty" he would probably not have had an affect on the ladies as he has had simply because his nickname "Tiger" implies that he is a "Tiger."

Dr. Miskovic first wrote about this in his 2006 best-selling book, "Nicknames - And How They Can Influence Women into Literally Throwing Themselves At Men."

Warner Brothers has already signed Denzel Washington to star as Tiger Woods in the movie, 'Oops, The Tiger Woods Story.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Tiger Woods

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