Meredith Baxter Announces Love for Carpet

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for Meredith Baxter Announces Love for Carpet
Untrimmed red plush is Baxter's favorite carpet

Following recent interviews on daytime television and with local U.S. newspapers, Meredith Baxter, the former mom on television show "Family Ties", has announced a "late in life" change to lesbianism.

No shock to some of her close friends and publicist alike, Baxter has always shown an affinity towards today's current fashion and softer varieties of wall to wall carpeting. "She was traditionally a Shag carpeting lover, pretty much through the 90's, but her tastes have evolved since then to more mature styles today", says Baxter's publicist Anita Pounding.

Baxter's current preferences reportedly include various colors from natural blonde to brown and red tones, "but only natural colors will do", says Pounding. "She still likes the full body and softness of a Textured Plush, but has been leaning towards Cut Pile and Sculptured Berber in recent months".

Baxter defended her decision in multiple interviews citing cleaning effort, among other factors, influencing her change in sexual preference. "You know", Baxter said. "A fine, natural red, Sculptured Berber is by far much easier to clean than having to worry about cleaning up gobs of man-juice from a bristly shag".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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