Whatzupp Magazine writer Tina Taqueria has brought us the scoop of the century, and it's not just about lovely legs anymore. Brace yourselves for the most uproarious event in Oklahoma's history—the "Legs Extravaganza" at none other than Whataburger, the beloved fast food joint.
Hold on to your drumsticks because 21-year-old Hoxie Candycutt, a shining star among burger flippers at the Woodpecker Pass Whataburger, has triumphed in the fiercely competitive contest to be crowned the winner of the "Sexiest Chicken Legs in Oklahoma" contest.
In between serving up mouthwatering Whataburger delicacies, Hoxie showcased her poultry-inspired pin-up potential and left the judges crowing with delight. The news of her victory has sent shockwaves through the town, with locals gobbling up the juicy details.
Now, you might wonder what makes Hoxie the ultimate chicken leg connoisseur. Well, this ambitious young woman is currently attending Dust Bowl College in nearby Tulsa, where she's honing her skills in the art of leg appreciation. Move over, Colonel Sanders!
But let's not overlook the personal drama that unfolded in Hoxie's life. Our intrepid reporter, Miss Taqueria, uncovered a juicy tidbit—Hoxie recently bid farewell to her now-infamous boyfriend, Herbert. As it turns out, Herbert had quite the unique side hustle: dealing illegal opioids to fund his unquenchable thirst for Marlboro cigarettes. Talk about getting the wrong kind of high!
In Hoxie's defense, she had only known Herbert for a mere three weeks. It seems that her instincts about his poultry behavior were spot on. Time to cluck him out of her life!
When Miss Taqueria asked Hoxie about her personal preferences, the answers left us shell-shocked. Her favorite movie is none other than the Beatles' classic "A Hard Day's Night." Apparently, Hoxie knows that "all you need is legs" to win people's hearts.
In a surprising twist, Hoxie revealed her favorite athlete to be Aaron Rodgers of the New York Jets. Perhaps she's a fan of his agile moves on and off the field, but we suspect she might be slightly confused by team affiliations. Maybe the Philadelphia Eagles or Atlanta Falcons may be more her style.
Now, let's talk about Hoxie's culinary flair. Her favorite seafood dish is the sophisticated and simmering Oysters a la King. Move over canned tuna because this chicken leg queen knows how to savor the finer tastes of the sea.
In recognition of her unprecedented achievement, Whataburger has decided to give Hoxie an extra leg up in life. They've graciously boosted her hourly wage from $14.25 to a finger-lickin' good $19.75.
Note: No actual chickens were harmed in the making of this poultry-inspired event. Sure, they were slaughtered, chopped up, breadcrummbed and fried at 350 degrees until golden brown. But they weren't all treated humanely and were very happy chickens.
