Shanty Beer defends 'woke' saying 'women shouldn't have to mud-wrestle to sell beer'

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Wednesday, 17 May 2023

image for Shanty Beer defends 'woke' saying 'women shouldn't have to mud-wrestle to sell beer'
Drink calorie rich Shanty Beer and have a nice day.

Shanty Beer has defended a "pro-women" advert amid a woke backlash, insisting there is nothing "controversial" about "saying women shouldn’t be forced to mud wrestle" to sell beer.

The beer brand released an advertisement celebrating Women’s History Month, in which the overweight comedian Macy Gobbler condemned Shanty and other beer brands' past use of scantily-clad women to sell their products. She's fully dressed in a pink dress.

Most women that were questioned argued that one person should not override the rights of women who have the freedom to dress as they like. "I think it's discrimination if I can't get a modeling job dressed in a bikini because one person thinks it's not right," says supermodel Lacey Grace.

One man questioned said he never liked bikini-dressed women selling beer. "I always changed the channel on my telly when a beer commercial with a lady in a bikini showed," Johnny Homes continues, "I felt I was being tricked into buying their beer."

Should it be a "different strokes for different folks" advertising campaign where different types of commercials have equal airtime? After all, not everyone wears the same size shoes, and one type of commercial won't sell beer to everyone. "Reaching out to every type of viewer with different types of ads would sell the most beer," says marketing graduate Gilbert Gottfried.

Soon, only women in hijab will be allowed in a beer commercial, so everyone could be woken up.

Shelly Abdul says, "I wish every woman would wear a hijab so no one type of woman can define beauty for non-traditional females. Women develop mental complexes because they feel they don't fit into society or they're not attractive to men."

One elderly woman, Mary Magdalene, complains, "I don't want my husband to view bikini-clad women on my telly because he might run off with a younger woman," she continues, "I support Shanty Beer's crappy ale, and I use it all the time to wash my toilet bowl clean."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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