There were 126 spoof news stories published in September 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Sarah Palin's Face To Be Carved Into Mount Rushmore
America was stunned yesterday when the Tea Party members in Congress passed a bill that would make Sarah Palin's likeness the next to be carved into Mount Rushmore, allowing the former Vice-Presidential candidate to be forever immortalized on the Sou...
Read full storySome Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money
Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...
Read full storyNorth Korea to dominate Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil deploying secret weapon - Big Hats™
After the recent Axis of Evil BratSpat tantrums over who is the biggest Honky Cat in the Pack, North Korea has unveiled its ultra secret weapon that its scientists have been developing for decades. The array of big hats being worn by the general...
Read full storyInternational Union of Clowns Awards Donald Trump Lifetime Membership
The International Union of Clowns, after having their convention that they all rode to in one tiny car, announced that they would be awarding Predident Donald Trump a lifetime membership in the prestigious clown union. "We feel that no one has hel...
Read full storyDutch woman peeing in public is caught with her knickers down!
Amsterdam: After a heavy evening's drinking and not finding a place to pee (well there's plenty of canals there!), a Dutch woman whipped her knickers down for a quickie in the corner; however, a Dutch policeman observed her merrily, and then arrested...
Read full storyDid You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?
It's true, it's true. This is no joke. It happened in Pennsylvania recently. Two women in nun's garb held up bank tellers and demanded cash. The would-be robbers became scaredy cats and ran away empty handed when a teller set off an alarm. The...
Read full storyAmerica's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon
For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...
Read full storyMnuchin™ to Foreclose on Puetro Rico
Given the debt Puerto Rico has to Wall St and now they are unable to make their designated payments due to the 2 recent Hurricanes the most compassionate and all wise Treasury Secretary has decided to Foreclose on the entire region. Apparently Her...
Read full storyGiant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!
It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...
Read full storyAustralian Nutter hitches ride on train windscreen wiper!
Living in Australia can be expensive and travelling too (just like England) so one nutter decided to dodge paying his fare by hitching a ride on the windscreen wiper of a passing train! Luckily, in Australia, it hardly rains, but shines, and durin...
Read full storyAimless Drifter Patents Lifestyle, Now a Multi-Millionaire
Portland. A self-described aimless drifter has turned his lifestyle into a lucrative career. No kidding. This is not a rags to riches story by virtue of hard work or perseverance or anything like that. It is a story that baffles the mind and l...
Read full storyAfter Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Maria, and the Earthquake in Mexico, God to Attend Anger Management Classes
HEAVEN--CNN reported today that God, after an intervention by Mary, Jesus, the Twelve Apostles, and Mother Theresa, will be attending anger management classes after his recent temper tantrums have devastated parts of the United States, the Caribbean,...
Read full storyScary Clowns make a Resurgence - Seen stalking the halls of Whitehouse
Codenamed by the FBI as Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil, they are considered World Public Enemy Number 1 according to a report by every security and policing agency in the US and the EU. Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil are wanted for crimes against humanity...
Read full storyChinese rented sex dolls get "Chop Sued!"
A Chinese company that produced rental sex dolls for frustrated Chinese males waiting for their knackered wives to come home after working 12 hour shifts in local Beijing factories has been closed because the sex dolls were too sexy! It seems that...
Read full storyScientists Link Hillary Clinton to Global Warming, Low Sperm Counts, and Gay Frogs
ONLY IN AMERICA - Hillary Clinton again last week was dominating the main stream media spotlight with her "What Happened" book tour. Or, as some have dubbed it: "Hillary's Pity Party - I'm Unapologetic and still Relevant Tour". Book publisher Simon &...
Read full storyA Musician Reaps Havoc at 30,000 Feet
Saxophonist Kenny G performed an impromptu concert for charity in the First Class section of a Tampa-to-Los Angeles Delta Airlines flight last week, prompting passengers on-board to wonder 'where was a midair collision when you wanted one?' "We...
Read full storyBritish twins have what doctors are calling 'Synchronised Botox Explosion Syndrome'
With rising craze of injecting your face with botulism to "look cool" in a completely unexpected outcome it has come to light that this is actually one of the most virulent toxins known to medicine. The 'pucker lip generation' are aghast at the fi...
Read full storyA Celebrity Expands Her Sexual Orientation
Television personality Caitlyn Jenner announced yesterday that she is radically broadening her sexual orientation to include a host of other erotic preferences. "I simply had to do it," she said while browsing the 'personal lube' department of Big...
Read full storyScientists Predict 15.5 Days Without Sunlight in December
Ed, a physicist at Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, claims he has found indisputable evidence for climate change. "The math is so clear that it can't be questioned. In December, we will have 15.5 total days of darkness. We must ma...
Read full storyMan who declared knife "fake weapon" shocked that it could still stab him.
Following in the now popular trend of calling things you don't like "fake" to discredit them, Seattle Convenient Store Clerk, Fred Nunchenhausen declared the knife of a would be robber fake during an armed robbery. Although, Mr. Nunchenhausen was ab...
Read full storyTrump.com™ announces he will be first President to land a white man on the moon
To cement his place in history as the Astronaut Science President, Trump.com™ has vowed to be the first President to land a man on the moon. Claiming a decommissioned Titan missile was all NASA needed, he announced this world first Moon pro...
Read full storyYelling in School Improves Academic Achievement
It's true. But the yelling must be done not by teachers but by students themselves. Who after all listens to teachers, especially when they're yelling? Studies have been done on this very phenomenon, and they have consistently demonstrated tha...
Read full storyWhat Happened - S H I T Happens
Déjà view, all over again. Somehow it feels like the evening of November 8, 2016. The U.S. presidential election that just keeps on giving. With Hillary Clinton's recent triumphant return to the media spotlight with her new book "What Happened", it s...
Read full storyTrump Signs Executive Order Banning Hurricanes and Earthquakes
Washington, DC "I got tired of all these disasters upstaging me and getting all the press. It was time SOMEBODY stood up and did something about all these hurricanes and earthquakes EVERY YEAR! Well, now it will be illegal for that to happen. TAKE TH...
Read full storyTrump.com™ to Ban NFL - Considers Nuclear Strike of NFL Commission HQ
After the most disrespectful comments towards his beloved eminence from Sports Stars who foolishly think they have the right to free speech, the most adored one has decided to ban the NFL. Citing Curry and Kaepernicks outrageous audacity to critic...
Read full story'D-List' Stars Seek An Expanded Celebrity Rating System
'D-List' celebrities gathered in Hollywood yesterday to support the broadening of the Celebrity Rating System by having a '+' or '-' following their designated category to further pinpoint their level of intelligence, talent and fame. And leadin...
Read full storyNitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas) is hilariously funny and you could all die laughing!
Laughing gas being flogged for 5 quid to kids wanting to laugh themselves to death in nightclubs, raves and other locations, is causing those who flog it, to laugh all the way to the bank! Dark entrepreneurs are having so much fun purchasing the s...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - family sue 2017 for being too modern
A family from Ventnor are trying to sue 2017 for being too modern. "There's a natural order in the universe," said father of two, Dick Womble. "And that's the order ordained by God." According to Mr Womble, the invention of indoor plumbing, su...
Read full storyUK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"
A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe! Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were acc...
Read full storyStormWall™ turns out to be just another TrumpScam™
Despite the previous biblical claims of Trump.com™ Stormwall™ it has turned out to be just as useless as everything else he has promised. Despite the Godlike claims made by Trump.com™, Scientists have confirmed that the StormWall...
Read full storyAfter Sports Team owners threats, Greybus comes to the rescue by offering special "Ride to Oblivion Service"
After the threat by Nascar Owners to send protesting drivers who support NFL anthem protests home on a Greybus, the bus company has responded with a special Ride to Oblivion Package. This includes a luxury bus ride by their more than friendly staf...
Read full storyBuffalo Bills stand on one leg in solidarity
Various teams in the NFL decided to protest President Trump's statements about standing during the national anthem by taking various stances during yesterday's games. The Buffalo Bills decided to stand on one leg during the national anthem, tho...
Read full storyTrump Punishes NFL By Disinviting Stephen Curry to White House
Washington, DC Trump went on Twitter and non-Twitter tirades Monday as he criticized everybody in the NFL, as well as anyone who watches the NFL, for players like Stephen Curry speculating on whether they want to even go to the White House, since it...
Read full storyTrump Promises to Split the Planet Mars With Russia
Washington, DC President Trump held a press conference and announced plans for a manned flight to Mars. "People keep telling me to go to Mars and so we will!" said Trump. Although the first passengers we had in mind refuse to go-Obama and Hillar...
Read full storyHillary Groundhog Day Proclaimed
Now that Hillary Clinton is back in the news with a vengeance, promoting her new book "What Happened", it's obvious to everyone what Hillary has been doing for the last year: Reliving Wednesday, November 9, 2016, over and over again. Just like "Groun...
Read full storyDavid Bowie Hid In Coal Shed To Avoid Roger Moore
Details are emerging about the fragile relationship between mercurial maestro and matador of avant-garde pop musicianship David Bowie, and Bond star Roger Moore. "David, or 'Alan', as he liked to be called back then, met some pretty weird characte...
Read full storyStrictly's Back and Shit as ever
Strictly Come Dancing is back on our screens and we couldn't give less of a fuck about it! Well we could but we got asked to stop writing about obscure things and making thinly veiled attacks on the right and could we please just write something norm...
Read full story"President Trump Fixes Earth" is #1 Show in the Alpha Centauri Galaxy
Washington, DC President Donald Trump was recently visited by a spaceship fron Alpha Centauri, to give him the Galaxy Award, an award to the top entertainment show in the (Alpha Centauri) galaxy. "Our people cannot get enough of the crazy Trump ad...
Read full storyAfter Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil threats against UN - Security Council considers Nuclear Strike against White House
After Trump.com threats against the UN for its ungracious reception of his best joke of all history the UN Security Council considers pre-emptive Nuclear Strike against the White House. The UN is taking seriously leaked reports from the White Hous...
Read full storyThe trouble with people nowadays is....
Last week marked the zenith in Hillary Clinton's emergence from the Chappaqua woods in upstate New York, where she had been living in the forest after the election like some majestic woodland creature, only occasionally appearing in some adoring fan'...
Read full storyEleven-Year Old Boy Who Mowed White House Lawn Opens Up About Trump
Washington, DC A young sixth-grade boy, Frank Guacamole, who wrote to the President and asked if he could mow the White House lawn. Trump answered and said he could and got a big news story out of it. While mowing the lawn, Frank was followed by T...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK
Councillor for Cowes, Mr David Pugh, has vowed that the Isle of Wight is to secede from the UK due to a row over the new Pound coin, however, he is keen to stress that this has nothing to do with Brexit. Island residents prefer the coins from 193...
Read full storyTrump.com™ threatens to nuke UN HQ in New York over unsatisfactory joke reception
A deeply insulting silence fell over the UN Assembly after Trump.com™ failed joke. His beloved eminence is said to be outraged because, as he claimed, "it was the best joke in the entire history of the human race and those nasty mean mongrels...
Read full story"If you can't smell these pungent odors you're demented," claim US scientists!
US scientists have come up with a fascinating study confirming people who are demented cannot smell 5 common odors that surround us on a daily basis. This study obviously helps people and their families to define if mum or dad is going AWOL so, Ja...
Read full storyLatest Bogan Sport - Hoon Spectator Toasting or what is known colloquially as Crowd Spraying
Now the Aussie Bogans (Rednecks) have been doing mindless burnouts for years they are bored and have moved on for the next cheap thrill. So someone came up with the idea of putting a small fuel leak over the back tires so that they light up. This...
Read full storyTrump Tweets He Will Ask Congress to Give Him the Power to Change the Laws of Science
Washington, DC President Trump has decided that the Laws of Science must be changed, according to tweets from the Chief Executive and an announcement by his press office. The press office quoted Trump as saying that "he was tired of catering to th...
Read full storyNorth Koreans Fake Another H-Bomb Blast to Impress Kim Jong-Un
Pyongyang, North Korea The crafty North Koreans, who have managed to live through wars, famine and crazy dictators, have managed to convince North Korea's Hereditary Dictator Kim Jong-Un, that the North Koreans have successfully launched another nucl...
Read full storyCollege Student Kicked Out for Not Being Black Enough
New York City, NY - A student was kicked out of his college this week for not being black enough. The former student checked the "Black" box on his college application and was counted as a minority when he was accepted. Once enrolled, the administra...
Read full storyElderly spoof writer "mis-under estimates" entire generation!
I have found that in my spoof writing that I have been particularly harsh when it comes to the generation known as...millennials. Yes, I have also spoofed my own generation but I suspect it has been with a much lighter tone and a more generous demean...
Read full storyItaly introduce "marry yourself weddings" for jilted Johns and Joans!
Lonely, single, unmarried and fed up with jumping in and out of bed with strangers who only want one night stands? Then Italy is the place for you! Singles in Italy are now allowed to marry themselves! The first to do it was a female Italian fitne...
Read full storyA Desperate Ghost Town, N.J., Mayor asks an old friend for an ambulance-chasing, lawyering job
Ghost Town, N.J., Mayor Martin Forrest Thwaite knew that within just months, he would most likely be out of a job. He was defeated in the last election by a landslide. So he did what any guy with a valid law degree would do - he struck out to get a j...
Read full storyDr Foster not living up to expectations
Scientists are claiming that the televisual treat of Dr Foster is not living up to the high expectations provided by the rhyme. Oscar Barrington Smythe said; 'This television documentary about the toxic fall out of a marriage still has not feature...
Read full storyNew NBC series 2020: Celebrity Cellmate...Tweets from Butner!
The Washington Post is reporting this morning that NBC is planning a new Celebrity series for 2020. Calling it: Celebrity Cellmate, the TV series will be filmed at the federal penitentiary in Butner, North Carolina. Details of the program are b...
Read full storyTaking The Wicket
In the latest of many cricket related thefts Jimmy Anderson has taken his 500th test wicket. A cackling Anderson addressed waiting reporters from top of the stands at Lords. Like some sort of cricket phantom of the opera. "You'll never catch me"...
Read full storyArsenal V Koln
Arsenal kicked off their UEFA Eu-Hopeless league campaign with a disastrous 3-1 home win against FC Koln. In a match that will be remembered for its intense crowd violence long after all the gutless players for Arsenal die from having no guts. An...
Read full storyElizabeth Floss Reveals Scamatologists Required to Use the F Bomb and Other Foul Language
Hollyweed, CA Emmy winner Elizabeth Floss, who is a member of the Cherch of Scamatology, revealed that it is a requirement that all True Believers of the Xenu Story must use at, the minimun, at least one curse word per fifty extemporaneous words spok...
Read full storyPhilippes Fed Up
Back and to the Left news follows sport purely for the hyperbole. Especially the shrieking nonsense that follows every single decision at Arsenal football club, our favourite punch line. So in the spirit of all things fair we'll write a article ab...
Read full storyBarry Battles On
After Gareth Barry (the player so boring they gave him two first names) made his record breaking 602nd Premier League appearance his manager Tony Pulis ominously said: He can play for another three years Before strangely adding Even if he do...
Read full storyMafia Family Members Major in Turf Management
New York City, NY - Local universities reported an uptick in popularity in Turf Management Studies, particularly for college applicants with Italian-American backgrounds. Students who major in turf management learn how to maintain the turf on sp...
Read full storyA New Broom Easily Sweeps Up Presidential Messes
The Rubbermaid Corporation unveiled its new XL-5 Miracle Broom yesterday, a sweeping device specifically designed to quickly cleanup the most stubborn messes left behind by President Trump. And the broom is fit for the job, thanks to a 28" sweepi...
Read full storyScotland's Qualifying Surge
Unrealistic expectations soared in throughout Scottish football as the national team (ranked below the Egyptian blind team) beat the mighty Malta 2-0. Despite having no chance to realistically qualify for this (or any other) international tournament...
Read full storyDeath on the Back Nine - Approaching that Final Hole
As my friends grow older - we're all in our 80s now - the sportsmen among us like to compare aging to the back nine of golf. Instead of confronting the obvious but unspoken end of game event, they suggest ways to make the back nine of life productive and worthwhile. Although life may move at a slower pace, a birdie on one of the last nine holes may be more satisfying than one made earlier. But w...
Read full storyJose's Mindset
Who would have thought throwing £300million at a team would change them from a terrible one to a decent one? Well everyone except Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho who firmly believes the sun revolves around his giant ego. The only surprise now...
Read full storyLiving In Skagway, Alaska Means Wearing Extra Tuff Boots As Your Main Footwear.
Living in Skagway, Alaska means - Having to buy used boots that are too big at the only thrift store in town after your old ones rot from all the rain and no place in town sells new shoes. Buying lettuce and milk that are already a week old because all the food comes up on a barge from Seattle. And it only comes once a week. Having the choice to go by either boat or plane to Juneau to get...
Read full storyPoll Reveals that 45% of Americans Think They Will Wake Up and the Entire Trump Presidential Term Will Have Been a Dream
Online and in-person surveys have mostly agreed on the percentage of Americans who cannot believe what is happening since Trump started running for President. "Things just started getting more and more unreal. First there was the nomination campaign which was surrealistic. Then there was the press, which wouldn't stop covering Trump just like one would watch a train wreck. But the train made i...
Read full storyNew radical budget flight company to pose threat to existing budget flight companies
At a press conference today, the UK's newest budget airline, FlyMonEasyRyanJetB2 announced a very radical model for budget airfares bringing the flight industry into a complete new era aimed at benefiting the consumer and not just chief executives n...
Read full storyCarricks Conundrum
Jose Mourinho has sensationally revealed to Back and to the Left news why "past it" midfielder Michael Carrick hasn't had much playing time. The Portuguese with the Napoleon complex waved his hands around a lot before fixing us with those piggy littl...
Read full storyShock to Quantum Mechanics Community - After much searching Schrödingers Cat can't be found inside or outside any box at all
Scientists deep in the Amazon have discovered Schrödingers Cat was not actually dual locality capable through quantum coalescence for instantaneous bi-location, but was in fact, just very confused and this was a natural outcome of everyone putting th...
Read full storySams A Celebrity
Big Sam Allardyce is in talks with ITV about taking over on "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" for the new season. Big Sam, 62, was last seen terrifying the shit out of Crystal Palace players in his successful attempt to keep them in the Premier Le...
Read full storyGaseous Hero Dog returns from secret mission to North Korea!
Moose, the gaseous hero dog, has returned to the U.S. according to a CNN report this afternoon. It had been rumored for several days that he had been seen on North Korea state news last week standing with Kim Jong-in at a massive rally in the nations...
Read full storyAmerican Corporations Neutralize The North Korean Nuclear Threat
Right when the world firmly believed that North Korea would decimate the planet by starting World War III, Kim Jong-un (left) completely abandoned his nuclear program yesterday when a handful of U.S. companies offered him an envious array of bargains...
Read full storyArsenals Date Change
Arsenal football club are a team, nay a city, in crisis! The club which has only won three FA cups in four years is on the verge of collapsing because of its lack of recent success. The big question is how will Arsenal players cope with playing on a...
Read full storyObama's Secret Pardons: Benedict Arnold, Philip Nolan
Washington, D. C. Seven months after then President Barack Obama commuted the sentence of WikiLeaks informant Chelsea Manning, documents have surfaced indicating Obama planned to posthumously pardon two infamous American military officers from anothe...
Read full storyNo Swear Box No Cry
David Bellman of Cornwall has been declared to be Britain's "sweariest man" after he was arrested for an outburst directed at a park bench. David currently holds the record for most swear words in a sentence (47) and most curse words said in a minute...
Read full storyThe Truth Behind James Comey's Ouster Finally Revealed
President Trump claimed he abruptly fired FBI Director James Comey because "he wasn't doing a good job". But according to numerous sources, Mr. Comey was let go because he was on the verge of leaking a report that unequivocally proved that Donald Tru...
Read full storyDREAMers To Adopt West Dakota As Their New State
Trump, WD - President Trump announced by tweet his agreement with "Chuck and Nancy" to permit the 700,000 DREAMers to relocate to a new state to officially become citizens. The new state boundaries are carved out of federal land located in the weste...
Read full storyHouston We Have a Problem. Trump is Here!
Last night President Donald Trump made a surprise visit to one of the shelters in the Houston area - the George Bush Convention Center, that is currently home to almost 2,500 people. Trump was unusually happy and seemed to miss the point of what thes...
Read full storyNew Sunscreen Protects You From Harmful Stingrays
You remember Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter? He was snorkeling in chest deep water when he got stung through the heart by a maniacal and emotionally disturbed stingray and died. Well from now on you don't have to fear dangerously deranged stingr...
Read full storyTrump "Visits" Puerto Rico To Survey Hurricane Damage
West New York, NJ - President Donald Trump "visited" Puerto Rico today by way of a satellite feed from West New York, New Jersey. Trump scheduled the visit amid claims that he cares more about stirring controversy with the NFL than about a U.S. terr...
Read full storyPuerto Rico Secedes from U. S., Annexes to Spain
San Juan, Puerto Rico.Angered by the catastrophic failure of the United States to provide immediate aid to his hurricane-ravaged territory, Gov. Ricardo Rossello today announced that Puerto Rico's territorial legislature had voted overwhelmingly to s...
Read full storyTrump Refuses to Criticize Recent Hurricanes, Saying "There are Good Storms and Bad Storms"
Washington, DC Much like his reaction to the White Supremacists in Charlottesville, Trump refused to say anything negative about Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Jose, Kaita, and Maria, speculating how he was not qualified to call a storm "good" or "bad."...
Read full storyTrump To Trump The UN
We at Back and to the Left news believe with a degree of certainty that Donald Trump is a fictional character made up for the purposes of Twitter amusement. Apparently he's not and "the man with the plan" will be attending his very first United Natio...
Read full storyA 'Drained Swamp' Nets Surprising Results
When President Trump fulfilled his campaign promise to "drain the swamp" in Washington, DC, the enormous steel mesh utilized to capture the tons of political debris revealed the usual suspects: a rigged political system, lobbyists buying influence an...
Read full storyUK sex mad pair order "extra hot and spicy pizza toppings" over and on the counter!
A global pizza fast food joints are becoming popular for gaga pairs hoping for a quickie over the counter while they wait for their hot, spicy, crispy treat with all kinds of melted cheesy toppings! The smell of the pizzas, especially those laced...
Read full storyTrump to seek Re-election as Democrat in 2020?
Sources close to Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer revealed, under promise of anonymity, that the whopping deal between President Donald Trump, House minority leader Nancy Pelosi and Schumer in mid-week contained a secret agreement regarding Tru...
Read full story"Toilet Hamlet" opens in West End
It is the career "break" that stage actors have been dreaming about. Finally, a major theatrical production opened this week in London's West End featuring toilets on stage for the actors to use during the performance. "Most plays are absolute hel...
Read full storySoft, silky "bogpaper" causes tree huggers to see "Red!"
Wiping one's rear end these days with, soft, luxury "bogpaper" seems to be not quite as harmless as it seems, say tree huggers! A UK luxury bogpaper manufacturing company has been accused by tree huggers of destroying a pristine forest is Sweden s...
Read full storySpeed 3 recast
Professional angry man David Mitchell has been cast as the lead in the forthcoming Speed 3. The star of Peep Show, Back, Upstart Crow, any panel show that needs a bit of extra bile and vitriol, and any thing that features his wife, Victoria will s...
Read full storyTelevision industry facing national shortage of actors
It has been revealed that there is now a national shortage of actors, with only six professionals able to work at the moment (Dame Maggie Smith, Dame Judi Dench, Daniel Craig, that bloke who played Voldermort, David Mitchell and Robert Webb) and so m...
Read full storyShelf Thee Selfie Monkey
The U.S. federal court system has been attempting to declare, Naruto, a crested macaque monkey, to be the rightful owner of his famous "monkey selfie." This has been a two year court case between PETA bread, David the photographer, and a self-publish...
Read full storySalmon to Boycott misnamed "Fall Fish Festival"
The annual run of Kokanee salmon up Lake Tahoe's Taylor Creel to the spawning beds may not occur this October. Reports from fishermen indicate Tahoe's Kokanee salmon can be found only in small numbers at the south end of the lake. Where have all the...
Read full storyA New President Fumbles The Jargon Of His Office
President Trump is having difficulty learning the terminology associated with his office, proven when he recently said, "I could get the best marble for any floor amendment, 'marking up a bill' would depend upon my satisfaction of the work and I woul...
Read full storyPolitical Twisties
In the latest twist to what some are calling a political crisis but others recognise as insanity two world leaders have started calling each other names. In the grand scheme of things Trump and UN aren't going to remembered as being the foremost political minds of their generation. To be fair they'll be lucky to be remembered as having minds if they carry on the way they are. Donald Trump has...
Read full storyAngler Merkel
Angler Merkel She keeps the European Union a float Though she has been known to rock the boat She's not likely to flounder as any Turk'll Tell you. That fisherwoman, Angler Merkel She brings wayward party members to eel She likes to mullet over when she does a deal She doesn't talk pollocks when she faces a hurdle Like a bream of light is Angler Merkel As Chancellor she haddock clea...
Read full storyLocal Council to seek Death Penalty for rogue pensioner that built a shed on the beach
Today it has come to national attention that a local Council will seek the execution of a pensioner who built a shed on the beach, fixed the road and stopped people dumping rubbish. As the plot unravels in the mainstream media it appears as though...
Read full storyBacon Bits
Art lovers the world over were overjoyed today as a new painting by Francis Bacon was discovered. The painting had been down the back of a sofa in Sofia and was discovered by the cleaning lady, Sophie Sofia, in the early hours of yesterday morning.
Read full storyPhoenix, Arizona, is so hot even rattlesnakes need airco!
A heatwave hitting Phoenix, Arizona is causing several problems and not only to humans! Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army; very appropriate here), is on a chilling-down trip escaping from Brexit lunacy in the US. As soon as he lan...
Read full storyClever Corbyn goes Smart
Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has finally grasped the wants of today's generation and proposed a revamp of democracy as we know it. "Yes, all these elections and parties and stuff are anachronistic. I want to take this country into a new era. We w...
Read full storyFrench speaking Canada bans Welsh Rarebits!
People residing in French Canadian speaking areas have been told never to use the phrase "Welsh Rarebit" again! It has been removed from all restaurant menus, dictionaries, school books, the internet, Google and anywhere else! The French Canadian...
Read full storyNationally Known Writer Admits He's been Lying, that Most of his Lies for FAKE NEWS were in Fact "Pretty Much True"
Portland. A famous writer who's been engaged in fake news for the last three weeks now admits his stories were either (1) mostly true or (2) could be true if the circumstances fell into line. Ed Shnenneren, the writer, said, "I've be...
Read full story