Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has finally grasped the wants of today's generation and proposed a revamp of democracy as we know it.
"Yes, all these elections and parties and stuff are anachronistic. I want to take this country into a new era. We will abolish elections as we know them. Everything in future will be decided via direct democracy. 90 per cent of households have an internet connection, around 90 per cent a Smartphone of sorts, so decisions will be taken by...... the people, based on 'Like' or 'Dislike' clicks."
Labour is asking the Government to introduce a Public Bill which will pass on all decisions otherwise within Parliamentary responsibility to the people of Britain. "They moan and moan about us anyway", explained Corbyn, "so they might as well make their own bloody decisions. The electorate will then only have themselves to blame. Excellent idea."
Parliament as such would thus become obsolete. Bills proposed by the public would be sifted and vetted by Buckingham Palace, respective arguments presented for and against on YouTube, and the final decision as to whether a Bill becomes law determined via clicks on the web.
"Lizzy's very excited about this", confessed a Palace official. "It's a bit like defeating the Roundheads. And Her Majesty is extremely accomplished in Smartphone techniques. Though she actually prefers her laptop, of course - League of Legends addict, I'm afraid....."
Corbyn considered his own future as safe. "True, my services might no longer be required. But I would then gladly become a car park attendant. I just know I have the credentials....."
