College Student Kicked Out for Not Being Black Enough

Written by Mike Peril

Friday, 22 September 2017

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New York City, NY - A student was kicked out of his college this week for not being black enough. The former student checked the "Black" box on his college application and was counted as a minority when he was accepted. Once enrolled, the administration noticed that the student did not meet the standards of a black minority and was no longer allowed to matriculate.

According to school policy, each minority who checked the "Black" box and enrolls must go through a color test on the first day of school. The test requires students to stand in front of different color boards of various shades of black, brown or off-white. If the test shows that the student checked the "Black" box but is not black enough, the student is required to leave.

In this case, the student was of Indian descent. The student, who asked not to be named, quickly enrolled at SUNY Albany. He stated: "I admit I lied on the college application and checked the "Black" box, but who doesn't lie a little? Is every college admissions essay factually true? Is every recommendation sincere? Is every declared major honest? Do those students get kicked out?"

But the school argues that its testing policies are on solid ground. When asked whether the school policy is fair, the Dean of Admissions stated: "Look. Our admissions office is color blind as to race. That is, until you show up. And then you better be black if that's what you declared on the application."

The student tweeted the last word: "As an Indian American I don't qualify to get in, but as a Black American I do. So it comes down to skin color. You tell me if that makes sense."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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