We at Back and to the Left news believe with a degree of certainty that Donald Trump is a fictional character made up for the purposes of Twitter amusement. Apparently he's not and "the man with the plan" will be attending his very first United Nations General assembly meeting this very month. That's right a reality TV star posing as the President of the United States will be mixing with all the world's most influential leaders. It's like a National Lampoon film come to life. If it wasn't so deeply fucking tragic.
Mr Trump of course is well versed to grandstanding and has probably prepared a speech that will put him on par with Castro's efforts of 206minutes. So in honour of Trumps first address to this top level of power we are taking a wild stab in the dark at what, apart from factual inaccuracies, will be included in his speech.
1. He'll address the delegates with the opening line "wow what a turnout" in the false belief they've all come to see him
2. Bemoan the fact that all the foreign delegates are actually foreign. Then wonder out loud why Americans aren't in those positions
3. Deny climate change
4. Deny he denies climate change
5. Deny any of his statements he's made over the last ten years
6. Denounce the fact that at least 80 of the countries are made up
7. Refuse to speak to the Mexican delegate or anyone who looks vaguely Mexican
8. Call any delegate from Africa "boy"
We are certainly looking forward to what promises to be an exciting few days in politics and hopefully watching Mr Trump get exposed on the world stage.