Trump, WD - President Trump announced by tweet his agreement with "Chuck and Nancy" to permit the 700,000 DREAMers to relocate to a new state to officially become citizens. The new state boundaries are carved out of federal land located in the western part of the Dakotas, and will be known as West Dakota. In a hard fought compromise, West Dakota's capital will be a newly created small town called Trump.
DREAMers need to visit the new state capital only once, where they will be able to complete "insta-citizenship" paperwork and then sign up to vote. A small office has been set up. Since no one is required to actually live in West Dakota, the new state is the United States' first virtual state.
"I call it a dream state!" tweeted House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.
The state will have two U.S. Senators and one representative in the U.S. House of Representatives, as well as three Electoral College votes.
According to reports, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer argued that there were more DREAMers than residents of several states, including Alaska, North Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming. It seemed only fair, said Schumer, that DREAMers get a fresh start with their own state. However, no existing state wanted to absorb these stranded immigrants. Thus, Pelosi conceived the idea of a virtual state.
"We told the President to just trust us on this one, that it will play well to his base," stated Pelosi, who smiled broadly but looked dazed during the hastily called press conference.
Schumer nodded in agreement. "Yes, although we had to give up the state capital name, we believe this is a real win for our DREAMers, who we hope will be great Democrats. Welcome to the party!"
The deal was cut after a late night symbolic dinner at the White House, in which tacos and churros were served. There were no members of the GOP congressional leadership present at the dinner or the press conference.
After the press conference, President Trump tweeted, "New State. DREAMer problem fixed! And the new state capital is Trump! WOW!"
To register, DREAMers should contact mike_ email@example.com