Written by Jeff Brone

Monday, 25 September 2017

Various teams in the NFL decided to protest President Trump's statements about standing during the national anthem by taking various stances during yesterday's games.

The Buffalo Bills decided to stand on one leg during the national anthem, though not all on the same leg, of course. Some chose the right leg, some chose the left, as it was "their right as Americans to choose such a leg." The San Francisco 49ers leaned against a chair, several in a circle around the same chair, some individually against a folding or lawn chair, and one against a large leather recliner which seemed to lean back during the song, lending some comic relief to the powerful statement of whatever it is the players are trying to say.

The Pittsburgh Steelers decided to not leave the locker room at all, a move that some suggested should have been continued throughout the game itself, and the Seattle Seahawks chose to stand in a "circle of solidarity" near the hot dog concession. Then, at the middle of the song, some kneeled ON hot dogs, to show support "for our vegan brothers and sisters."

At the Green Bay Packers game, the singer performing the national anthem unexpectedly broke out into a rendition of "Radar Love" to show solidarity with other musicians who were probably not standing up when he sang the first half of the actual anthem.

The Baltimore Ravens, playing in London, placed their heads in a bowed position during the anthem, then placed their heads in another, much more secluded location during the game itself. Presumably in solidarity of something.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: NFL, Buffalo Bills

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