Arsenals Date Change

Written by Backandtotheleft

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Arsenal football club are a team, nay a city, in crisis! The club which has only won three FA cups in four years is on the verge of collapsing because of its lack of recent success. The big question is how will Arsenal players cope with playing on a Thursday and then again on a Sunday? When they are so used to playing on a Wednesday then again on a Saturday. The change could prove to be insurmountable and cause the crisis stricken club to get relegated at least ten times.

Former players who achieved fuck all in their limited careers have weighed in. When no-one asked them to.

Ex-injury specialist Jamie Redknapp said:

Of course Arsenal are onto a hiding to nothing. If they lose the media will rinse them and attempt to destroy individual players confidence. If they win then it's not a real trophy and no one cares.

If they even dare to celebrate a goal in this competition then it just shows their losers mentality.

A balanced view.

Bitter ex-Chelsea goal machine Chris Sutton added:

How can the league not get involved and sack Wenger right now? I don't get it. It's a weak mentality. A losers mentality that stems from the junior teams up. Their kids are losers. Their under ten teams are full of weak weak individuals who you wouldn't want to go to war with. I normally support the inclusion of child soldiers but nit from this mob.

And finally ex-success monger Graham Souness weighed in with:

Weakness leads to poor mentality. Poor mentality leads to losing. Losing leads defeat. Defeat leads to giving up. Giving up leads to Arsenal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more