Written by Backandtotheleft

Friday, 22 September 2017


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In the latest twist to what some are calling a political crisis but others recognise as insanity two world leaders have started calling each other names. In the grand scheme of things Trump and UN aren't going to remembered as being the foremost political minds of their generation. To be fair they'll be lucky to be remembered as having minds if they carry on the way they are.

Donald Trump has used the medium of Twitter (because we like all our world leaders to use social media like a fourteen year old would) to describe Kim Jong Un as a "madman". While Kim has called Donald a "Dotard".

We at Back and to the Left news couldn't agree more with both of them. We also think if you have resulted to name calling then neither of you should be allowed giant missiles that can literally scorch a city out of existence. It's the same as when we were little wanker kids: If you can't stop shooting your little sister with a spud gun then it will be taken from you. Except in this case it's nuclear weapons.

We're not politicians and neither should we be. We'd be terrible. In fact we'd have pressed the button the second we found out Sean Bean dies in Lord of the Rings. We'd have nuked the fuck out of Middle Earth! We digress…..

What we're getting at is that the world has managed to avoid a massive globalised nuclear conflict because having one would be….dotarded? Are we allowed to use that word now without seeming like twats?

We've avoided one when the US and Russia had actual full on battle hardened armies staring at each other over a flattened Germany. We avoided one when the US put a blockade (an act of war) around Russia backed Cuba. We've avoided one while we tried to wipe out the Middle East. We avoided one when the Balklans was wiping each other out. We avoided one when separate sides backed random factions in a bunch of wars in Afghanistan. We've avoided one while Pakistan and India spit bile and hatred at one another. We've avoided one as a Noble Peace Prize winner participates in a fucking genocide….ow fuck this.

Go on Kim. Go on Trump fucking do it. Wipe this miserable species off the planet. We're doing it piecemeal anyway, drop those fucking bombs lads fuck it!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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