Trump "Visits" Puerto Rico To Survey Hurricane Damage

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Monday, 25 September 2017

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West New York, NJ - President Donald Trump "visited" Puerto Rico today by way of a satellite feed from West New York, New Jersey. Trump scheduled the visit amid claims that he cares more about stirring controversy with the NFL than about a U.S. territory that was devastated by Hurricane Maria.

During the call, Trump claimed a long history with Puerto Ricans, who Trump reportedly stated "mostly all work for me and live in New York and New Jersey anyway."

As part of the "visit", Trump witnessed firsthand the devastation.

"They need to get by like any other country," Trump stated, "After all, America should only help its citizens. Other countries have Red Cross, right?"

Trump seemingly overlooked the fact that Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory and thus part of the United States.

Since the day of the storm, Trump stated nothing by Twitter about Puerto Rico. The storm left all of Puerto Rico without electricity. In what has been characterized by the White House as a "minor oversight", Trump instead focused on football, sparking outrage and claims of racism for his Twitter claims against NFL players who stand up against police brutality.

When asked by reporters whether he would visit Puerto Rico in person, Trump stated, "I just did. And maybe I will visit a golf resort when things settle down over there. Dangerous."

For more information about Trump's visit, contact

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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