™ threatens to nuke UN HQ in New York over unsatisfactory joke reception

Funny story written by Gringo Lobos

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

image for™ threatens to nuke UN HQ in New York over unsatisfactory joke reception
Here we see Kelly doing a classic face palm after the joke went down like a Turd in a party punchbowl.

A deeply insulting silence fell over the UN Assembly after™ failed joke. His beloved eminence is said to be outraged because, as he claimed, "it was the best joke in the entire history of the human race and those nasty mean mongrels didn't laugh".

According to Whitehouse sources, he has ordered a nuclear strike against UN HQ in New York. However staff were trying to mount a last minute desperate bid to avert nuclear war with New York.

Staff initially told him that New York was actually part of US territories like Guam and that the Constitution does not allow attacks on other Americans, but this did little to dissuade him as he believed Guam strike made him look like a strong leader. Then others told him they might fire back at Washington, but™ was unmoved as he knows Washington has more nukes than New York.

However Kelly took a commercial line that™ had real estate investments there that and they might get ruined. This is said to have jolted™ and he has now asked for more military options against other UN sites. His first priority to Kelly was that the nuke attack wherever it is, must be at the half time of Friday Night Football to maximize ratings.

Press Spinner Suckerbee couldn't see the problem after she claimed "it is exactly the sort of joke Obama would make. This is just all part of the anti-Trump conspiracy that is ruining American greatness". She then sneered, "Further, in order to avoid future embarrassments, Applause and Laugh Now Signs from 80's sitcoms are being installed in the UN Assembly so that these idiots from non American countries know when to laugh and applaud our magnificent beloved eminence in the correct and endorsed way".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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