The trouble with people nowadays is....

Funny story written by JennyNorthStar

Monday, 18 September 2017

image for The trouble with people nowadays is....

Last week marked the zenith in Hillary Clinton's emergence from the Chappaqua woods in upstate New York, where she had been living in the forest after the election like some majestic woodland creature, only occasionally appearing in some adoring fan's selfie. Promoting her new book "What Happened", she once again reappeared and has dominated the news cycle with her 1,001 excuses why she didn't win the presidency. Sounding affable, engaging, and painfully sincere, virtually every media outlet, including the major news networks ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, and CNN aired Hillary interviews. Together they relive all the excruciating reasons for her downfall, while tearfully sharing the pain.

It appears Hillary Clinton did learn something from her divesting loss to the Trumpster, she will be visiting and signing books in many of the states she neglected to visit during her presidential campaign. I suppose now that her Secretary of State pay-for-play gig is over, the $1 billion in presidential campaign funds exhausted, and the donations to the Clinton Foundation dried up, selling books is a high priority.

Proving Hillary is one of the common folk, the voters who she ignored during her campaign, will be allowed to grace her presence during book signings. She recently appeared at a local Brookfield COSTCO warehouse. One person aptly summed up the event as: "So Trump is in the White House and Hillary is between the bottled water and toilet paper at Costco signing her book."

For all you Hillary Clinton lovers out there, good news! The "Hillary Clinton's Pity Party - Unapologetic, I'm Still Relevant Tour" will continue for at least 3 more months, until at least December 13. I suppose I don't need to mention "What Happened" makes a delightful Christmas gift for friends and family.

Obviously, the Trumpster, hasn't been too delighted with Hillary Clinton back in the spotlight. Moreover, hearing are all her numerous excuses for her loss. On Sunday he "retweeted" a Twitter post of a short video clip of himself teeing off on a golf course to an image of Hillary Clinton stumbling while walking onto an airplane. A golf ball bounces off the former presidential candidate's back before her tumble. The GIF suggests Trump's long ball knocked Clinton down.

I suppose the only thing that could compete with Hillary comeback news, is Donald, well, being the Trumpster.

The retweet immediately drew thousands of Trump's critics and supporters into a familiar battle of words, with many criticizing the GIF for seeming to encourage violence, while others laughing along with the president.

The actor James Morrison replied to Trump: "You're a child. Beneath the dignity of your office. Grow up. Be a man." "The man is unfit," declared Walter M. Shaub Jr., the former director of the independent Office of Government Ethics who resigned in July after clashing with the White House. Dr. Kara Alaimo, assistant professor of public relations at Hofstra University, said in a CNN article: "By continually dredging up the past, Trump deepens the damage to his reputation." Yea right, as if Hillary isn't doing that with her book tour!

Dr. Kara Alaimo went on to say: "In fact, any man who thinks it's hilarious to intentionally aim to hit a woman belongs with a psychotherapist, at best, not in the White House. Violence against women, President Trump, is never funny." She even compared Trump to secondhand smoke from cigarettes leading to lung cancer. Yes, sweetheart, you are right, I'll never be able to look at a man again and not think he isn't hiding golf balls in his pants.

What I truly found so amusing about the commentary, was not that Trump was branded as a misogynist and woman beater, but the continual use of the word "Doctored video" in the story headlines and text. As if some journalists think their readers are morons and somehow would believe the video was real. Some enterprising reporters even linked the video to anti-Semitic Twitter account, inferring Trump who has a son-n-law and daughter who are Jewish, is a Nazi.

This morning and, I'm sure for the next several weeks, the consternation will continue. Some of the more vocal anti-Trumpists and others have affirmed and proclaimed their disgust with the president as outlined below:

LPGA - Ladies Professional Golf Association
The LPGA has announced special classes for women in golf defense. Classes will include: "What to do to when men don't call out "four" before a swing." "The proper use of a three wood after being hit by a golf ball or being attacked in a parking garage." And, the always popular, "How to spot a cheating husband who says his playing golf on weekends."

Black Lives Matter - BLM
BLM Spokesperson, Ebony Durden, commenting on the Trump Video proclaimed: "Since there were only two white honkies in the video and no people of color, such as Tiger Woods, it proves Trump is a white supremacist, racist, and member of the KKK.

Chuck Schumer and Nasty Pelosi Introduce Anti-Golf Legislation in Congress
Horrified that Trump has condoned, promoted, and glorified golf violence towards women, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nasty Pelosi have introduced anti-golf Legislation in Congress. All golf clubs will have to be registered as lethal weapons. Any man wanting to buy them will first have to pass an emasculation background check. Golf ball sales will also be restricted to females, unless a male buyer is accompanied by a woman.

Antifa, the militant political movement of autonomous, self-styled anti-fascist groups, known for their militant protest tactics, including property damage and physical violence, have condemned President Trump for his threatening violence towards women. Protests have been planned for Portland, OR, Berkley, CA, and Washington, D.C. An Antifa spokesperson said please bring your own black hoodies, masks, shields, protest signs with reinforced, extra thick sticks with nails, and bottles of urine.

Trump International Golf Club-West Palm Beach
Not all the Trump video reactions were negative. The manager for Trump's Mar-a-Lago Club Golf Course said: "We are pleased to announce that all the distance markers on our golf driving range, have been replaced with deceasing size pictures of Hillary Clinton." "For those golfers who have been worried about their swing, this should greatly assistance with your distance and accuracy.

I really think the trouble with people nowadays is they don't have a sense of humor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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