There were 1,397 spoof news stories published in January 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Nearly Nude Pics of Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola Came From Los Angeles Spa!
Los Angeles police have traced a calendar that sold on the streets for $25 back to it's source at a Los Angeles Spa, called "Take It Off!" Apparently the spa was secretly snapping photos of anyone famous that came by and gave out free first sessio...
Read full storyPlayboy Mogul Hugh Hefner Reveals Why Nude Photos of Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Dakota Fanning Do Not Exist
LOS ANGELES - One of the top news programs in America, Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that they have irrefutable evidence regarding so called nude photos of some of America's most popular young female singers. 3T's Papaya Ruckusgarden stated t...
Read full storyLionel Richie Finally Apologizes for "Penny Lover"
Beverly Hills- After years of agonizing anticipation, music lovers around the world finally have received an apology from Lionel Richie for the recording and release of the 1983 song Penny Lover. When news of the mea culpa broke, fans slowly gath...
Read full storyNew Cell Phone App Turns Camera Into X-ray that Sees Through Clothing
Sebring, Fla. - A new app available for downloading promises to turn an ordinary cell phone camera into an X-Ray machine that can see through clothing. Invented by thirteen year old Randy Cummings from nearby Titusville, the middle school student sai...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Naked Pictures
Canadian singer Justin Bieber - whose surname almost rhymes with Beaver, an aquatic mammal that builds dams and a euphemism for a woman's private parts - has some naked pictures that have been causing quite a stir. What happened was that Justin go...
Read full storyKate Gosselin's Bodyguard Steve Nield Caught In The Possession of 37 Nude Photos of KatGo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin sat at her kitchen table talking to her best friend Kinsey San Joaquin. KatGo, the name Kate is now going by, said that she cannot believe that the man that she trusted more than even Dancing With The Stars host...
Read full storyIBM Computer Watson, Florida Virtual Classrooms Ignite 'Virtual' Craze
Yep, everybody's doin' it. Going virtual, that is. There's the IBM computer, Watson, that beat out two former champs (real, not virtual) in a trial run of a "Jeopardy" competition. Then there are some Florida classrooms populated by computers,...
Read full storyDid Emily Williams introduce Tanja Morson to Jo accused Vincent Tabak?
Bristol - (Sock-It-To-Em!): She generously allowed Tabak to lodge in her Aberdeen Road home while police probed tragic Jo Yeates' death. This week Emily Williams is still incommunicado 'somewhere in Chile' as Bristol Ram drinkers ponder who grasse...
Read full storyCarrie Underwood Denies Divorce Rumors
PENSACOLA, Florida - Carrie Underwood, who has won more country music awards than Reba McEntire, Alan Jackson, Sugarland, and Ramrod Rick & The Cattle Rustlin' Band combined, performed before a sold out audience at The Orange Seed Auditorium in P...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Nude TV Role Offer
Fans of top TV science totty, Alice Roberts, are holding their breath as their dream of seeing her au naturel appears to have a chance of being realised. As we reported, ooh, ages ago (it was August 26 - ed) the Coast presenter's admirers were dis...
Read full storyTanja Morson denies grassing up boyfriend Vincent Tabak
Bristol - (Whodunnit): She's the weekend red tops' favorite for grassing up the Dutch boyfriend to Bristol cops. And she's gone to ground during Vincent Tabak's police interrogation, extended by another 30 hour warrant on Friday. Family sources...
Read full storyH&R Block: Like Demolishing a Building With A Big Stuffed Bunny
H&R Block is in panic mode, entering what it calls First Peak --the flurry of business set in motion by the arrival of W-2s for those tax clients who usually plan to pay Febuary's child support with their tax refund-- without the ability to offer...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Says Robert Pattison Proposed to Her, Pattinson Doesn't Deny It
Nina Dobrev, whom everyone expects to marry Ian Somerhalder, told reporters today that Robert Pattinson had proposed to her two months ago. "I realize his fans and the Twilight faithful won't believe me and I expect that you do not believe it eith...
Read full storyNaked J K Rowling pictures
Yes that is right, before J K Growling, authorette of Harry McPotter wizarding series became famous she was a magazine babe. "In Tyne and Weir, it was either sell crack or show your crack", J K told this reporter. All the nude pictures have b...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Loves Spankings, Says Liam Hemsworth
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth's on again, off again relationship is apparently off again as Hemsworth told reporters in Australia yesterday. "I'm finally through with that part of my life. I admit that Miley wore me out. I have a career to think...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Denies The Kristen Stewart Lesbian Rumors
VENICE BEACH - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that the rumors of an intimate relationship that were reported in The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette between movie starlets Vanessa Hudgens and Kristen Stewart are totally false. LC2M Editor A...
Read full storyShakira's 2011 Nude Calendar Is Selling Like Colombian Hot Cakes!
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - The Colombian firecracker Shakira had just finished performing before a sell out crowd at Green Bays' Box of Snow Balls Auditorium when she received the good news. She was informed by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Papaya Ruckusgar...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay doused in petrol and held at gunpoint
Gordon Ramsay, the chef (44), was doused in petrol and held at gunpoint while investigating illegal fishing for a television series. A simple trip abroad to look into illegal fishing for shark fins turned into horror for Gordon Ramsey and the TV crew. Surprise! Surprise. What the hell did they expect? Did they expect law-breaking Costa Ricans to welcome a pack of nosey bloody foreigners w...
Read full storyDavid Cameron denies affair with model Bailey-Jay Granger
British Prime Minister David Cameron has denied having an affair with a famous internet model named Bailey-Jay Granger and said he would resign if he was caught lying about it. Mr Cameron who is well known for trying to build an uncommon personali...
Read full storyThe Devil's In the Dutchmen! Vincent Tabak & Joran van der Sloot Linked To Aruba Springbreak Disappearances!
The Aruba and Holland Tourism Industry were hit today with the shocking bombshell news that accused women killers Vincent Tabak and Joran van der Sloot, both Dutchmen, met and partied 6 years ago on Aruba the same time US student Natalie Holloway w...
Read full storyWithout RALs, Today Begins H&R Block's Countdown To Insolvency.
For the 214 people who still use H&R Block to prepare their income tax return, there will be a huge surprise at the interview desk in 2011, and it won't be lower prices: H&R Block can't offer to loan you your own money in anticipation of a ta...
Read full storyShakira Dumps Boyfriend of 11 Years And Takes Up With Manchester United's Chicharito
LOS ANGELES - The Left Coast Mirror Magazine and The Right Coast Illustrated Revue are both reporting that Colombian songstress and belly dancer Shakira has dumped her boyfriend of eleven years Antonio De La Rue and is now seeing English football sta...
Read full storyShort men demand the right to wear high heels without ridicule
The Japanese Institute of Short Men have approached the Japanese government to make it illegal to ridicule their members for wearing high heels. "In a nation typified by shorter people," said Masahiko Nagamoto, sporting a glorious pair of four and...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Caught Caressing Ines Sainz 'Caboose' At Knotts Berry Farm
BUENA PARK, California - A local Left Coast newspaper is reporting that Robert Pattinson star of the Twilight vampire series movies and Ines Sainz star sports reporter for Mexico's Azteca TV were recently spotted at the famed Knotts Berry Farm Amusem...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Angrily Tells Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - "Your Pack of Brats Are No Longer Welcome In My Home!"
BELLAGIO, Italy - As soon as George Clooney pulled into the driveway of his Italian mansion Villa Oleandra Oxen Free, located on beautiful Lake Perry Como he knew that something was amiss. The Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie 'United Nations of a Fami...
Read full storySelena Gomez Says Nude Photos in Indian Magazine Not Her
Pop star Selena Gomez says that the just released photos of her in India News Magazine are not her. "Everyone wants a piece of Selena Gomez", she told reporters in Paris this morning. This has all come about after Gomez reportedly came to Pari...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Devastated As Her Bodyguard Quits
READING, Pennsylvania - The woman who proved to America that one does not have to really know how to dance in order to advance on the reality dancing show Dancing With The Stars is reportedly quite devastated Kate "Graceless" Gosselin, the woman w...
Read full storyShock as 100,000 Brits Convert To Islam
A shocking new study has revealed that 100,000 Brits have converted to Islam and turned their backs on western consumerism and immorality. Somewhat surprisingly, the study identifies the average convert as most likely being a white woman in her mid t...
Read full storyThe Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll Has Just Become The Biggest Selling Inflatable Doll of All-Time
CHICAGO - America's largest toy manufacturer the Hasbroken Toy Company has just announced that due to the recent Christmas sales the Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll has just surpassed the Cheryl Cole Inflatable Doll in sales. Spokesperson for the ma...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Devastated Over News of Alleged Nude Photos of Her Laying On The Beach At Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
LOS ANGELES - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune has reported that they have alleged nude photos of Taylor Swift that were taken on her recent trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. The editor of T4 Murgatroyd Latherwick has stated that although the phot...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Loses It Over Not Being Invited to British Royal Wedding
First Lady Michelle Obama did a Hyacinth Bucket routine when she discovered that she and her husband, Barack, were not invited to the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. "She blew her stack alright", stated a White House page. "Yo...
Read full storyShakespeare was dyslexic
Builders in Stratford upon Avon excavating the site near Shakespeare's home have uncovered evidence that noted playright William was a dyslexic. Under piles of rubble the found documents and discovered they were original scripts for plays with Editor...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart Extremely Upset!
What would upset Robert Pattinson so much that he would not talk to anyone even over the telephone last week? Apparently it was the same news that is not very popular with Taylor Lautner or Kristen Stewart either. Their movie "Twilight: Eclipse...
Read full storyH&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"
H&R Block, the tax preparation company who has taken it in the proverbial rear this tax season --after losing refund anticipation loans, their sole source of income-- they now find out that Jackson Hewitt will be the exclusive provider of tax ser...
Read full storyJackson Hewitt Changes Its Name To "Refund Anticipation Loans 'R Us"
Perennial tax-preparation runner-up Jackson Hewitt has decided to capitalize on H&R Block's inability to provide its clients with Refund Anticipation Loans (RALs) by changing its name to "RALs 'R US." "Want a Refund Anticipation Loan, we got '...
Read full storyKate Middleton Nude Shock
Future Queen of England Catherine Middleton takes her clothes off and gets naked with alarming regularity, it emerged yesterday! Ms Middleton is scheduled to marry Prince William on April 29 and the country is looking forward to a national holiday...
Read full storyFellow swinger reveals real reason why Sting likes to dress up Trudie Styler during their tawdry sex sessions
Even regular sex gets boring. No way you say. S'truth. Take Sting for example. Nothing much new and happening on the creative front. So it's back to the boring old sex life of two dried out prunes. Readers will remember a couple of years ago when Sting tried to regale everyone with his expertise on tantric sex - that mysterious Indian Kama Sutra thing that he claims to have mastered. Where...
Read full storySteven Tyler Agrees to Nude Shots in Playgirl
"American Idol" judge and former lead singer for Aerosmith has agreed to do a spread in Playgirl Magazine from reports out of Hollywood. "I'm enjoying myself on the show and don't think this offer will hurt the show. After all, I have nothing to h...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner and Lily Collins Seen French Kissing In L.A.'s Trendy Cafe La French Fry
WEST HOLLYWOOD - According to unnamed sources the co-stars of the film Abduction, Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins were spotted at the famed Cafe La French Fry where the couple was French kissing between taking bites of their order of Deluxe French Fr...
Read full storyMyspace dies, thanks for the obit!
Funeral for a friend. - The once mighty social networking giant, Myspace, died yesterday afternoon after a long, hard-fought battle with Zuckerberginoma, a common form of web cancer caused by the Facebook virus. It was 7. Launched in the summer o...
Read full storyDear Bradlees: Your Store In Hazlet, NJ Has Terrible Hours Of Operation.
Dear Bradlees: I am writing to complain about the Bradlees department store in Hazlet, NJ, on Route 38 and Poole Road. Will someone explain to me... Why the marquee sign for a Bradlees which closed in 2001 is still illuminated? Who's paying for this? If I'm 10 days late paying my electric bill, JCP&L are here ripping copper wiring out of my junction box, but the f--king Bradlees sign rem...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent. It all came about as recently as recently while the...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay - Pie Face!
Fans of TV chef Gordon Ramsay have been shocked by pictures of the legendary foul-mouth in the tabloids. He was photographed with his wife Tana and their kids out walking with David and Victoria Beckham and their family. Close-ups revealed his...
Read full storyiPhone Sleep Alarm Malfunctions, World Rejoices
Thanks to a technical glitch in their iPhone sleep alarms, many iPhone users have gotten up late the last few days. Although many of these folks are furious about the troubles this has caused THEM, most of the REST of the world is rejoicing. A...
Read full storyPregnant Natalie Portman Makes Nude Workout Video
Although pregnant with her first child, actress Natalie Portman has made a video of her doing exercises in the nude, according to a press release. Portman says she's not ashamed of her body and she wants other women to exercise while they are expe...
Read full storySelena Gomez Parents to Justin Bieber: Quit Trying to Seduce Our Daughter!
Ricardo Gomez, Selena's biological father and her mother, Mandy Teefy, have apparently told Justin Bieber to quit trying to seduce their daughter. "Selena has quit wearing her "purity ring" and I want to know why", stated Teefy. "She's been wearin...
Read full storyGay Man Goes To See Liverpool v. Everton At Anfield, But Spends Entire Match In Bogs
An outright gay man told how he went to Anfield to see his first-ever football match this afternoon, only to spend the entire duration of the match in the Gents toilets. Larry Sabu, 20, somehow managed to obtain a ticket to see the 215th Merseysi...
Read full storyEasy on the mayo, guys, as dead meerkat found in sandwich
Kent - (Lettuce Prey): The body of a dead meerkat, missing from a Kent wildlife park, has been found inside a sandwich. Local shoppers say bits of the furry roadkill were seen protruding from the £2.50p organic wholegrain toastie at St Bart's Roa...
Read full storyLiverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish To Partner Fernando Torres For Rest Of Season, Whilst He Rebuilds 1980s Side
In sensational fake news fresh from Anfield, new Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish has announced that he, himself, will partner the Reds' striker Fernando Torres for the rest of the season, whilst trying to recreate the dominant side of the 1980s. Dal...
Read full storyBattle fatigued Fernando Torres leaves 'Anfieldgrad'
This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We are surrounded by opposing forces and cut off from humanity. On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and Von Hodgson took a walk down the M62 ALONE with...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Embarrassed as Stuffing Falls Out of Bra During Show
It had been a great night for singing and a lively cheering crowd got an extra bonus when members of the Def Leopard rock group showed up to sing with Taylor Swift during the last ten minutes of her performance in St Louis Monday night. Right up...
Read full storyKristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Nina Dobrev To Star In The X-Rated "The Naked Nubiles of Nevada"
HOLLYWOOD - Tittle Tattle Tonight has just announced that three of America's leading young actresses will be appearing in Sheboygan Saddlewood's sex-crazed casino film The Naked Nubiles of Nevada. Saddlewood said that he recently secured the film...
Read full storyMeerkat Carpets Cause Outrage
Carpets made of Meerkats are being sold in a shop in Birmingham. The carpets are said to be of very good quality and, as Meerkats aren't a protected species, the vendors are perfectly within their rights to sell them. Meerkat wool is very luxuri...
Read full storyElvis Presley Hated Warren Beatty!
After several tabloids told the public that rock & roll legend Elvis Presley hated the Beatles John Lennon because of Lennon's anti-war, pacifist views, our reporters have discovered that Elvis wasn't exactly fond of actor Warren Beatty either.
Read full storyAlan Bennett: Yay! The IRS Gave H&R Block Three Extra Days To Sh-t The Bed!
Erase the big, red X you put on the "Archbishop of Kraków Stanisław Dziwisz With Baby Animals" calendar your father-in-law gave you, because the IRS have given Usury-Rate same-day loan factory H&R Block three extra days to sh-t the bed. BREAK...
Read full storyDerek Hough Reportedly Has A Collection of Over 900 Nude Photos of Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The winner of this years Dancing With The Stars reality dance program Derek Hough was interviewed by the nationally syndicated news program Bedroom Pillow Talk. Hough sat in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha dressed in...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Says He is not Gay
Despite rumors all over the internet, Justin Bieber told reporters yesterday that he is NOT gay. "I DO have some gay friends but most of my friends are straight", Bieber told us. "The stories on the internet are false. This is not to say that I a...
Read full storyHijacker "La Pelirroja" Found Resting On Footbridge In Mexico. With a Rope Around Her Neck. Not Breathing.
Gabriela Elizabeth Tamez Muniz, The Redhead Mas Fea, alleged leader of a Mexican hijackers ring was found resting, with very cold skin, on a pedestrian bridge at Gonzalitos Avenue, opposite Mithras Norte in Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, and was alive (a lit...
Read full storySarah Palin Discloses She Thinks Kate Gosselin Secretly Took Naked Photos Of Her
DES MOINES, Iowa - Sarah Palin was making a speech to a crowd gathered in the parking lot of a Jack-in-The-Box Restaurant when she was asked about the reported nude photos of her that are appearing on the Internet. Palin blushed and turned as red...
Read full storyMiley: It May Take Nude Mag Spread to Kill 'Hannah Montana'
Miley Cyrus was dead serious yesterday when friends and fans were shocked to hear her say that it may take something 'very adult' to finally shake off her alternate ego, "Hannah Montana". Miley had recently wound up the last episode of Hannah Mon...
Read full storyH&R Block Pulls Ads From MTV's Skins, The Spoof.
Financially neutered tax preparation company H&R Block -- the company who has been sued by the Attorneys General of 41 states over various consumer protection issues-- has pulled their advertising from MTV's kiddie-porn show "Skins", just weeks...
Read full storyLiverpool Sack Dalglish!
In the most amazing managerial turnaround ever seen in English football, Liverpool last night sacked new manager Kenny Dalglish after just two games in charge, in the aftermath of the Reds' 2-1 defeat at Blackpool. Dalglish only took the reins at...
Read full storyAn Anchorage Pedicurist Is Alleged To Have Massaged Todd Palin's Alaskan Salmon
WASILLA, Alaska - Reports coming out of the "Iceberg" state are still somewhat sketchy but it appears that a reliable, unnamed, unknown, and unpaid source has revealed that she has heard that Mr. Sarah Palin, aka Todd Palin may have received an illeg...
Read full storyDerek Hough Reveals The Very Intimate Location of Cheryl Cole's Latest Tattoo
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Derek Hough was quietly lounging around in his boxer shorts in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha, which he named after one of his all-time favorited dances, when he received a call from Summersetter Faxx, a reporter with...
Read full storyColombian police smash pigeon drug cartel!
A group of pigeon drug couriers has been caught "pigeon-footed" delivering drugs to Colombian prisons. Regular flights from the Colombian coca fields to the prison were no problem for the pigeons, they're all "Homeys". The only problem was that t...
Read full storyObama Continues to Lose Weight; Experts Say He Could be Being Consumed with Intestinal Parasites And Blame Spam Sandwiches!
Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enf...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Justin Bieber Visit Demi Lovato At The Henry And Betty Ford Rehab Clinic
LOS ANGELES - Teen singing sensations Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber visited fellow singing idol Demi Lovato at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic in El Lay (L.A.). Gomez told a reporter for the Bedroom Pillow Talk news program that her and Jus...
Read full storyGay Man Photographed Pumping Little Boys Balls
A gay man in the local village was pictured in the local paper this week furiously pumping a little boys balls at the side of the road. Larry Sabu, 20, was cruising along in his mother's Fiat Panda when he spotted a child in distress. "Upon see...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Shocker: She Has A Crush On Adam Lambert
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that Taylor Swift, the sweet little country songstress has confided that she finds Adam Lambert extremely attractive. The popular recording artist confided in her bass guitarist that she...
Read full storyThe Eva Longoria - Tony Parker Divorce Is Final - He Keeps The Basketball Collection, She Keeps Her Sanity
SAN ANTONIO - Texas Judge Bubba "Yippee Ki Yay" Burntwood stamped his official judge's stamp on the Parker-Longoria divorce decree ending the couple's three year marriage. Eva Longoria, one of the stars of ABC's Desperate Housewives filed for divo...
Read full storyKristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Needs the Brass to Keep Me!
Friends of Twilight star Kristen Stewart say that she has been more than a little miffed by the way she has been treated by her long-time boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. "She told us that she feels like he takes it for granted that she will always be...
Read full storyRobert Downey, Jr. Appears In Tropic Thunder Blackface To Denounce Ricky Gervais
Robert Downey, Jr., the voice of the sexually ambiguous Mr. Peanut and the sexually ambiguous Mr. Peabody and Sherman in the Dreamworks Film "Rocky And Bullwinkle's Ancillary Characters" is rip-snorting mad at Ricky Gervais's Golden Globes monologue,...
Read full story"Naked Body Scanners Out, Anal Probes In," says TSA
Faced with lawsuits from airline passengers and its own employees, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said today that it will discontinue the use of naked-body scanners at U.S. airports beginning March 2011. Passengers have long co...
Read full storyDelinquent Equity Loan Forces Foreclosure of White House
A home equity loan taken out by Congress in 2008 for much-needed renovations to the White House has fallen seriously in default and rumors are swirling that the bank holding the loan is considering foreclosure on the structure. While the first mor...
Read full storyTen Things Smaller Than Brett Farve's Penis
In light of Minnesota Vikings (former) quarterback Brett Favre being fined $50,000 for causing irreparable harm to a defenseless (text) receiver, after sending New York Jets Gameday host Jenn Sterger pictures via cell phone of an old, wrinkled member that stopped serving it's purpose a long time ago (he also showed her his penis), Thespoof has amassed this list of ten things in the universe smalle...
Read full storyPhil The Greek Restores Noble Right Of Prima Nocta
In what is likely to be seen as a highly controversial move, HRH Prince Philip has taken it upon himself to restore the ancient noble's right of Prima Nocta. This is the right which allows a senior royal to have sexual rights to the wife of a newly m...
Read full storyBarry George Bush: "Vincent Tabak Is Innocent, OK?"
London - (Big Bang Theories): The man who didn't kill Jill Dando said today it could all be a terrible mistake. George, 69, was banged up for nearly eight years at Her Maj's Pleasure before being acquitted on Appeal. Speaking to pals at the Gow...
Read full storyNaked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony
Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent. So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Drops A Bombshell: Simon Cowell and Mark Cuban Are Half Brothers
CHICAGO - After shocking her viewers by recently announcing on her television show The Oprah Winfrey Show that she had a half sister that she had no idea she had, Oprah Winfrey has once again dropped another "Family" bombshell. Ms. Winfrey announc...
Read full storyKew Gardens a hotbed of vice as manager pulled in prostitution scam
West London - (Reuterus): Topless pics of the corpulent ugly-mug were found on a Royal Botanical Gardens laptop at the weekend. They showed 35 year-old Helen Marsters frolicking naked while running Kew Gardens visitor centre. Today the pug-fac...
Read full storySelena Gomez Sits in Justin Bieber's Lap
Although there has been no lap dancing that has been photographed, at least a dozen shots of Selena Gomez sitting in singer Justin Bieber's lap have just been released in a major tabloid. Earlier pics had showed Justin sitting in Selena's lap as f...
Read full storyLa Pelirroja Fue Hallada Descanso Del Puente Peatonal. Con Una Cuerda en Su Cuello. Sin Respirar.
Gabriela Elizabeth Muñiz Tamez, La Pelirroja Mas Fea, presunta lideresa de secuestradores hallada descano, su piel muy fría, del puente peatonal de la avenida Gonzalitos, frente a la colonia Mitras Norte en Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, estaba viva (un poqu...
Read full storyGorilla proves that humans are just hairless apes!
A gorilla who resides in a UK Safari Park has proven what Charles Darwin already knew, humans are just gormless, "hairless" apes! The gorilla's name is Ambam and has proven to the world that Gorilla's and other apes are much further down the evolu...
Read full storyKenny Dalglish Can't Match Shankly, Nude
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is unlikely to be able to match the legendary Bill Shankly in his quest to return the Merseyside Reds to their former glories; and a Torbay art connoisseur has unveiled a new addition to his collection, write Football...
Read full storyLady Gaga and Justin Bieber To Star In The Film "The Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Strange But True Story"
HOLLYWOOD - According to Justin Bieber's publicist Poindexter Clickowitz Justin will be starring with Lady Gaga in MZM Pictures production of The Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore Strange But True Story. Clickowitz said that at first the part of Ashto...
Read full storyStephanie Seymour Defends Son's Boob-Grope: "It's OK, He's A Butt-Pirate."
Odd photos of Stephanie Seymour and her 17-year-old son Peter have surfaced, in which it appears Peter is stroking his mother's right nipple while sticking his tongue in her mouth while on vacation in St. Bart's surfaced, but Mommy says it's OK, beca...
Read full storyJo Yeates Murder: Man Arrested After Confession
Police investigating the murder of Jo Yeates in Bristol have arrested a 32-year-old man after receiving evidence from eyewitnesses who said that he had confessed to friends that he liked eating mozzarella, tomato and pesto pizza from Tesco. The ma...
Read full storyPete Postlethwaite, Zsa-Zsa Gabor's Right Leg Dead
Oscar-nominated actor Pete Postlethwaite, who starred in "Inception" and "The Usual Suspects," has died at the age of 64, his agent said Monday. Please direct hate mail to... get.overit@God-forbid-i-make-fun-of-a-Brit.web ...my next-door neighbo...
Read full storyConspiracy theorists fan the flames as DC lobbyist Ashley Turton dies in freak garage blaze
Washington - (Bonfire of the Insanities): The DC energy lobbyist and wife of presidential aide Dan Turton died in a shocking, freakishly bizarre 5am car blaze in her garage on Monday. Police and fire department investigators are on the case amid s...
Read full storyJasmine Villegas Reveals An Interesting Intimate Secret About Justin Bieber
LOS ANGELES - Jasmine Villegas, who not only was Justin Bieber's opening act last year but who also dated the young Canadian for two months has revealed an intimate detail about the Bieber. Villegas, 17, who starred on the Disney Channel's spin-of...
Read full storyPalin Explains Mix-up in Map Displayed on SarahPAC Website
"Oh gosh, when I woke up Sunday morning, I was just horrified to see my US map with the gun sites directed at US states and names of lawmakers printed below," claimed a somewhat contrite Sarah Palin in attempting to explain the offending map posted o...
Read full storyTina Fey, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson To Star In "Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story"
HOLLYWOOD - Famed Italian director Luigi Luigiani has just announced that he will soon be directing Tina Fey and Johnny Depp in the production of Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story. Luigiani, who has directed some of the biggest actresses in Holly...
Read full storyABC's Supernanny Offers One Last Visit to Kate Gosselin
ABC's Supernanny, Jo Frost, is folding up her umbrella, letting her chauffer go, and heading back to England to start a family of her own, but not before she offers her services one last time to the mother of all mothers, Kate Gosselin. "That woma...
Read full storyIf You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes
So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed. In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane. Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...
Read full storyWheelie bin theory suggests Vincent Tabak 'accomplice' may be a woman
Bristol - (Bin Bags): The body-in-a-suitcase theory was losing ground this weekend as Jo Yeates forensic sleuths admitted impounding a recycling smart bin. Layout pics of the Canynge Road apartment block communal areas show a waste container stora...
Read full storyJ K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster
J K Rowling, the woman behind the infeasibly popular Harry Potter series, has sold her latest creation to her publishers for half a million pounds. "It's been a while since Jo wrote anything," said publisher and publicist Pugh Ballasista. "So we w...
Read full story'Masonic' UFO appeared over Bristol the night Jo Yeates vanished
Bristol - (Pie-in-the-Sky): Locals said the craft was festooned with a neon sign depicting the Triple Tau. The emblem forms part of the heraldic colors of the Holy Royal Arch - a masonic appendant body catering to the architectural branch of freem...
Read full storyKarren Brady for Sky Sports
Karren Brady, West Ham Vice Chairman, has been given the extra role of Director of Sky Sports on the personal direction of Rupert Murdoch who has rushed back to the UK from America to sort out the crisis caused by sexist remarks by football pundits A...
Read full storyRaunchy Navy Videos Leaked to Media to Refute Don't Ask, Don't Tell Rumors
An unidentified Naval Commander, speaking on the condition of anonymity, claims that it was necessary to make and leak raunchy sex videos to show the world that the majority of servicemen in the Navy are not homosexual, as the repeal of Don't Ask, Do...
Read full storyStar Sign Reassignment Continues To Promote Controversy
Astrologers remain divided about the increasing number of people choosing to undergo Star Sign Reassignment. As little as ten years ago it was believed that natal charts were fixed at the time of birth, and that lives would inevitably follow the c...
Read full storyMark Ernst Hired As COO Of Fiserv; Insolvency Expected Within Ninety Days.
Fiserv, a suicidal provider of financial services technology solutions, has appointed former H&R Block CEO Mark Ernst as executive vice president and COO. "H&R Block disclosed that... its former chairman and chief executive, Mark A. Ernst, wi...
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