The Eva Longoria - Tony Parker Divorce Is Final - He Keeps The Basketball Collection, She Keeps Her Sanity

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 31 January 2011

SAN ANTONIO - Texas Judge Bubba "Yippee Ki Yay" Burntwood stamped his official judge's stamp on the Parker-Longoria divorce decree ending the couple's three year marriage.

Eva Longoria, one of the stars of ABC's Desperate Housewives filed for divorce from her husband San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker back in November when she found over 900 text messages from Tony to the wife of an ex-teammate of Tony "The Baloney" as Eva now calls him.

At first Tony denied it saying that he had no idea how those text messages got into his phone.

The couple was building a $7 million mansion in the exclusive Fort Knox Estates subdivision located just west of San Antonio. The home was about 93% finished but plans are now to put it up for sale on eBay.

Tony has focused all of is attention on basketball and the Spurs have the best record in the entire NBA at 40-7, including the Kobe Bryant-led world champion Los Angeles Lakers.

Eva meanwhile is currently involved in a legal dispute over the name of her restaurant Beso (Kiss). It appears that there is a rock band in Tortilla Soup, Guatemala named Beso and they are suing the gorgeously sexy Longoria because they say that they had the name first.

One of Longoria's cast mates Felicity Huffman told Tittle Tattle Tonight that she is glad that the divorce is finally over so that Eva can get on with her life. Huffman pointed out that while Tony has immersed himself in his basketball career, Eva has immersed herself in her Papaya Margaritas.

But as Eva Longoria's high school biology teacher Condimentina Del Mar back at Blackbeard The Buccaneer High School in Corpus Christi so profoundly stated, "Tony gets to keep the basketball collection and Eva gets to keep her sanity."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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