Gibbs Says He Is Sick of Answering Stupid Questions
Washington - Press Secretary Gibbs told reporters that he was sick of answering their stupid questions. Gibbs told the shocked crowd of reporters: "I can't believe that you guys ask such stupid questions. My favorite one question was: 'Is Obam...Read full story
Will and Kate's prick-teasing, pussy-tickling wedding plans
Kate Middleton's after-shag glow blinded millions of Breakfast News viewers today as she revealed more details of the coming Royal bedding. In an effort to keep up a brave face against decapitation threats by anarchist assassins, Will and Kate hav...Read full story
Rowling's Ministry of Propaganda
Journalist Ted McBrain of "The Genitalia Review" goes in search of J.K.Rowling's Publicity Director. "Finding the Ministry wasn't easy as nobody in Edinburgh seemed to know where it was or even if it existed. Eventually, I found it in a small disused library off Princess Street. There were no signs or indications and all the windows had steel shutters. After I had been checked by security in th...Read full story
Tea Party Activists Turn Kindles into Kindling to Protest Book
Gold Hill, OR - It was a cold, wet January afternoon along the banks of the Rogue River in southern Oregon, just perfect for what self-described Tea Party activist Trapper Christian called a "good, old-fashioned book burning." What he threw onto the...Read full story
Jesus Apologizes for Giving Congregation Hepatitis A
Heaven - Jesus Christ issued an apology this morning through his spokesman at the Archdioceses of New York, because of what happened on Christmas morning at a local parish in Long Island. "I feel sorry for those people of my flock that had to get...Read full story
GOP Releases New Year's Wish List For 112th Congress
New House Majority Leader Eric Cantor releases Republican's 2011 agenda today, sharing with the nation their priorities and focus for the New Year. Washington D.C., January 5, 2011 - As the GOP formally took control of the House today, new Majorit...Read full story
Gordon Ramsay's wife, Tana, visits him at The Priory Clinic
This morning, Gordon Ramsay's wife, Tana, visited him at the The Priory Clinic where he is residing following his admittance. His admittance to the Clinic had been brought about as a result of his recent traumatic trip to Costa Rica to film illegal f...Read full story
Spoof Editor Cleans House; 10K Unclaimed Stories Sold On Line for Peanuts in India!
Spoof editor Sir Mark Lowton announced today that he had cleared his storage bank of unclaimed stories on New Year's Eve, thereby beating the increase in the VAT tax by a mere 24 hours! "Well, " said Lowton, licking the remnants of a well aged che...Read full story
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Sex is Over-Rated
In a press conference yesterday two stars of the Twilight movie series told press agents that they thought that sex was way over-rated. "I think it was a nine or ten earlier on", stated Stewart, "but I'd only give it a five...maybe even a four now...Read full story
Dead Birds and Fish Normal, says Government Agencies
The initial panic over why 100,000 fish and several thousand birds died suddenly and unexpectedly, over several states, has been resolved, much to the relief of Americans all over the country. Many were speculating that there may have been some te...Read full story
Philip the Greek tells Charlotte Church 'the Queen may be an old woman but she is my old woman'
Royal Handbag Holder and consort Phil the Greek wandered into another controversy. He was told by his handlers that Charlotte Church had claimed that the Queen is "an old woman who has no idea what is going on". Nonagenarian Phil immediately rallied...Read full story
My Father Was An A--hole. Or Still Is; I Wouldn't Know.
When I was really young, my dad used to visit me one whopping hour a week; 12-1pm on Sundays. My mom would stay in the kitchen and I would be with him in the living room. One time I was eating Crunch Berries out of the box, and I would eat the Crunch Berries first, completely avoiding the other, less-tasty pieces. Dad said, "don't do that, or I'll squeeze your hands." My next handful, by the lu...Read full story
Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent. It all came about as recently as recently while the...Read full story
Israel replaces brick in Wailing Wall. World decries "disproportionate land-theft"
Israel today replaced a crumbling brick in the Old City's Wailing Wall with a new one, to the outrage of the international community. In a press conference, US president Barack Obama condemned the act, calling it "despicable and disproportionate l...Read full story
Wills and Kate announce Royal Wedding plans
Prince William and Kate Middleton have today announced the plans for their very unlavish wedding next Easter. Owing to the current recession, the royals will attempt to hide how incredibly rich they are. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams wil...Read full story
4D Television the Hot Ticket at 2011 CES
With 3D television already last year's news, electronics manufacturers have been hot to answer consumer demand for even higher tech in the home entertainment market. Enter four dimensional television or 4D, at this year's Consumer and Electronics Sh...Read full story
Royal couple announce wedding plans and millions of Brits hoping to escape it, book their holidays too!
Prince William and his wife to be, Kate Middleton have officially announced their wedding itinerary for the great day. From morning till evening everything has been meticulously planned and even an official public holiday has also been announced.Read full story
Gordon Ramsay admitted to The Priory Clinic for observation and tests - Clinic worked wonders for Susan Boyle
Chef, Gordon Ramsay, 44, has been admitted to The Priory Clinic for observation following his recent trauma in Costa Rica. Readers may remember that Gordon was in Costa Rica recently, filming for a new series on fishing. Gordon and his crew were...Read full story
Masturbating not the cause of male baldness!
Tiny boys, teenagers and other males (most of them actually) masturbating are not the cause of males going bald. Scientists have been researching into the age-old problem of males going bald and now they have achieved an astonishing result in proving...Read full story
Obama Set to Name Katie Couric To Replace Robert Glibb as WH Spokesperson & Terrorist Apologist!
Another 'bomb shell' White House shocker as Obama retrenches for the coming two year battle with Republicans announcing that Robert Glibb (sic) will be promoted to the Chicago Command & Control Center in anticipation of the run up to the 2012 Pr...Read full story
Beckham To Insist Upon Tottenham Kit Change
LA Galaxy star David Beckham is tonight said to be close to signing a loan deal with Premier League Tottenham Hotspur, but there are still a few details that need 'ironing out'. Primary amongst these is an issue with Spurs' kit. Beckham isn't keen...Read full story
UFO Lands In Hampshire Field - Aliens Get Out, Appear To Have A Row, Then Fly Off Again
Hampshire farmer, Ichabod Burrzeman was last night doing the rounds of his land near Odiham, when he was astonished to see a bright light in the sky - which appeared to be be coming closer, in fact, right in his direction. Paralysed with paralysis...Read full story
Old Lady Gaga Hit Parade: Eight Pills a Day
Eight Pills a Day (To Beatles' Eight Days a Week) Ooh I need a doctor, Don't you know it's true. Cause I have bursitis, Dementia and the flu. Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey, Got to take my meds babe, Eight pills a day. Got a heart condition, Liver's shot to hell. And the water weight gain, Is making my feet swell. Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey, Ain't got nothin' b...Read full story
Coming to TV soon - New Parliament Series
Following the TV recording in Parliament, we are shortly to be blessed with a new BBC weekly serial, depicting Members of Her Majesty's Government in Action. To be made in Brussels by Walt Disney and Imagine Films, it will have a weekly budget of £13. We can disclose here, the main characters and the actor who will play the part of the MP. David Cameron - Prime Minister To be played by:...Read full story
H&R Block Builds Business By Giving Away Their Service For Free. Wait... What?
The executives at tax preparation fossil H&R Block have come up with a brilliant strategy to build their business and increase profits: Welcome H&R Block to Thespoof.com's Family Of Advertisers! We're thrilled that you decided not to pull yo...Read full story
Paula Abdul Premiers Her New Show 'Lets Live To Dance But Without Stars, Idols, Ice Skaters, or A Whole Lot of Talent'
LOS ANGELES - Miss Paula "The Ex-L.A. Lakers Girl" Abdul kicked off her new CBS dancing show with a dancing bang and complete with the obligatory British male announcer Sir Cyrus Reginald Nigel something or other. The Lets Live To Dance But Withou...Read full story
Apple Signs Lindsay Lohan to Market the New APod
Unable to keep a lid on the secretive and lucrative contract or the development of their newest product, insiders at Apple's marketing department were giddy at the opportunity to feature Ms. Lohan pitching their newest technology, the AnklePod or "AP...Read full story
Australia are crying in their XXXX at thought of losing the Ashes
In fact they are crying so much there's talk of floods in Queensland! Yes, the mighty Australians are set to hand over the little earn after England delivered them an outback whipping. Gone are jokes such as: 'What does "Ashes" stand for? Another...Read full story
Massage a Trois, Foot Fetish , Tripping, & Penis Mail Continue to Dog Jets!
Continued reports of rampant bizarre behaviour involving sex, randy activities, and uncontrolled orgies involving jock straps, athletic socks and flip flops follow the Jets as they prepare for this weeks playoff game against the Colts & Peyton...Read full story
'Nations weep' as Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift split
The announcement we all dreaded came today, that Jake and Taylor were to end their relationship. Millions of people had delighted in the fact the two had started dating last year. After meeting their respective families and parading in public muc...Read full story
Is a problem halved when shared?
Mathematicians at the University of Manchester have been looking into whether or not a problem shared is a problem halved as the old proverb goes. "The question itself is a puzzle," said Noel Liphe. "So we decided to see whether or not sharing the...Read full story
Prince William and Kate Middleton's Royal Wedding to 'be done on a budget'
This years royal wedding will not be as extravagant as past events and is estimated to cost less than £500! Following the ceremony the couple will be transported by a 1966 Jaguar Mk2 in rusty white to Fox and Hounds pub in Peckham. Once there they...Read full story
Gene Kits being misused
A new kit has been released that will tell the user what colour hair a person has from a sample of their DNA. This joins the ranks of other kits that determine paternity, eye colour and racial origins. Initially developed for use by law enforcemen...Read full story
Lesbianism blamed for Ford jail arson
Sussex - (Wormwood Scrubbers): Ministry of Justice bosses today blamed Ford Open Prison's openly gay woman governor for the weekend's rioting that burnt down the jail. 'Mean looking' Sharon Williams apparently sparked the blaze that caused £3milli...Read full story
Black Sabbath plagiarism spat behind Cradle of Filth furor
Suffolk - (Heavy Metal Fatigue): Is an Ozzy Osbourne dark agenda behind a blazing row that's erupted at the Suffolk Tourism Board? The Black Sabbath musician is rumored to be linked to rampant insider knobbling about the popularity of Cradle of Fi...Read full story
Little known Political Quotes
This hand picked selection of Political Quotes was gathered together by Inchcock, in the hopes of prompting a movement within the country to enable the overtaking of the Government, and its incarceration of the nepotistic, greedy, silver-spoon-in-the-mouths, members, and Her Majesties Opposition. 'The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax i...Read full story
Norman Rockwell's America - Dulwich Picture Gallery Review
Norman Rockwell is perhaps America's best-loved artist of the twentieth century, wittily illustrating ordinary and fictional Americans - not least on his famous covers for the Saturday Evening Post. We sent our art historian and critic Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit to Dulwich to run an eye over this first UK exhibition of his original work... Don't make me laugh! Traipse out to bloody...Read full story
New Offside Rule Declared Racist
Sepp Bloater announced yesterday that a variation to the controversial 'offside' rule is to be introduced with a view of making more accurate decisions. Bloater said,'Due to the significant rise in the number of black centre forwards we feel the r...Read full story
Shock as 100,000 Brits Convert To Islam
A shocking new study has revealed that 100,000 Brits have converted to Islam and turned their backs on western consumerism and immorality. Somewhat surprisingly, the study identifies the average convert as most likely being a white woman in her mid t...Read full story
Chancellor & Vice-Chancellor's Latest Antics
The shameless millionaire Chancellor George Osborne (who coined the phrase *we're all in this together", jetted off on a luxury skiing holiday - leaving Britain to suffer the backlash of his vicious policies. He went on the piste as struggling fam...Read full story
Wikileaks Shocker: 'Dog The Bounty Hunter' and 'Mrs. Dog' May Be Brother and Sister
HONOLULU, Hawaii - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that they may have uncovered some Wikileaks documents that show that Duane "The Dog" Chapman and his wife Beth "The Buxom Broad" Chapman may in all actuality be brother and sister. The 57-...Read full story
Delinquent Equity Loan Forces Foreclosure of White House
A home equity loan taken out by Congress in 2008 for much-needed renovations to the White House has fallen seriously in default and rumors are swirling that the bank holding the loan is considering foreclosure on the structure. While the first mor...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Leaves The Rehab Clinic As Happy As A Woodpecker In A Chopstick Factory
LOS ANGELES - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune has stated that noted and much troubled actress Lindsay Lohan has finally left The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. LiLo, as she is known, skipped out of the facility looking like a younger, nicer, cle...Read full story
Arnold Schwarzenegger To Star With Heidi Montag and Joan Rivers In "Conan The Barbarian Vs. The Plastic Vampires From Hell"
HOLLYWOOD - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that the former governor of the Left Coast state of California has just signed with Cripple Creek Films to star in Sheboygan Saddlewood's epic motion picture Conan The Barbarian Vs. The Plastic V...Read full story
Penis Becomes 'Stuck' In Vagina
Medical staff at a hospital say that they may have to wait indefinitely if a man's penis, which become so swollen that it could not be removed from his partner's vagina by the normal method, remains erect. Doctors have said that the unnamed Englis...Read full story
Alan Bennett: Yay! The IRS Gave H&R Block Three Extra Days To Sh-t The Bed!
Erase the big, red X you put on the "Archbishop of Kraków Stanisław Dziwisz With Baby Animals" calendar your father-in-law gave you, because the IRS have given Usury-Rate same-day loan factory H&R Block three extra days to sh-t the bed. BREAK...Read full story
Mark Ernst Hired As COO Of Fiserv; Insolvency Expected Within Ninety Days.
Fiserv, a suicidal provider of financial services technology solutions, has appointed former H&R Block CEO Mark Ernst as executive vice president and COO. "H&R Block disclosed that... its former chairman and chief executive, Mark A. Ernst, wi...Read full story
Navy's Modern Day 'Mr. Roberts' Gets the Heave Ho
Once news of a naval captain responsible for writing, filming and starring in raunchy videos broke on national news, opinions have emerged as to why he did it. While some naval personnel abhor his actions, many seamen who served under him are coming...Read full story
NewSouth Books Revises History In New Version Of "Huckleberry Finn."
NewSouth Books, a publisher located in Montgomery, Alabama, -- Ground Zero for racial tolerance-- has released a new version of Huckleberry Finn, replacing each instance of the N-word with "slave." The Spoof Magazine... ...where freeform humor goes to die. Of all the slurs... ...regarding Native Americans (and who knew there were that many,) my favorite has to be "Squaw-f--ker." Who thinks...Read full story
Below the neck amputee man hangs self from off Tijuana bridge after killing wife!
Tijuana police were called to a bridge on the north side of Tijuana after witness report a below the neck amputee man had hung himself. When officers arrived they found the bodiless man hanging by a metal ring tied to the bridge. When police went...Read full story
Woman Changes Political Beliefs After Reading Bumper Sticker
Seattle, WA - Judith Rutledge is no longer a Democrat. The forty year old has been a liberal her entire life. Everything changed this morning when she pulled up behind a pickup truck. The truck was littered with bumper stickers, including several...Read full story
Star Trek Captain Loses Post After Lewd Video Shown
The motto of the USS Enterprise, the vessel whose 5-year mission "to boldly go where no man has gone before", seems to have been taken all too literally, after it was announced that NASA has relieved a US spaceship captain of his command over the pr...Read full story
Christmas: Gone In Sixty Seconds
Christmas was upon us, and was gone. Just like that. Snap of the finger quick! So says Joyce Merryweather, mother of two and home-maker to eight faux-family members. "We waited in, for over three weeks, waiting for the day. We sat watching adve...Read full story
Betting Opens on Rowling Trial
International Bookmakers have just opened a book on the outcome of the impending trial for plagiarism of J.K.Rowling in London's High Court scheduled for later this year. Bookie Juan Borneveryday said: "Our view is that it will be a tough contest. Our final analysis is that the opposition will have too much to do and Rowling should win going away. We make Rowling odds on at 4/6 and Willy's...Read full story
More Surrealist Letters To The Editor
Dear Scobie Breasley, are you able to put us in contact with other of your ilk, that is, Australian Jockeys of a certain age or era? It is always our goal to have these fellows stuffed and then lean them against one another all along my garden path (crazed-paved, quite the "yellow brick road", and cloche-lined ("I loath thy microscopic Crystal Palaces, Hereward, Hereward and Hereward", quoth Au...Read full story