Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 22 January 2011

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The winner of this years Dancing With The Stars reality dance program Derek Hough was interviewed by the nationally syndicated news program Bedroom Pillow Talk.

Hough sat in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha dressed in a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball shirt, a pair of UCLA shorts, and wearing a Los Angeles Lakers cap.

He was asked how his dance partner Jennifer Grey was doing. He said that she was fine. Derek was asked if she had finally stopped crying. He smiled and replied that Jenny is a habitual weeper.

Derek shook his head and said that he has never known anyone who cries more than her. He pointed out that once he even saw her crying in the shower after spending a grueling 14 hours on the rehearsal dance floor.

"The Dancing Dude" as Hough is know said that in regards to being a crybaby Jenny is certainly up there with Glenn Beck, John Boehner, and Brett Favre.

Hough was asked how his sister Julianne and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest's relationship is going. Derek said that he figures it is going great because he'd had dinner with Julianne the night before at a Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos in Topanga Canyon and he noticed that she had a hickey on her neck.

He asked her about it and she blushed and turned as red as a Shreveport strawberry. He asked her if there were any other hickeys anywhere else and Julianne turned even redder this time as red as a Tacoma tomato.

Derek was then asked if the rumor about him having 600 naked photographs of his British girlfriend Cheryl Cole was true.

Hough asked how in the world the reporter (Metzenbaum Kassenbaum) had gotten that information.

MetKa, as he is known professionally, replied that he could not reveal his reliable, inside, unnamed source.

Derek turned serious and said that it was not true. MetKa looked at him for a few seconds.

"Okay, okay, it's true but the number of naked pictures is not 600, its actually more like over 900, because I just took about 300 when we took a trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico a few weeks ago.

MetKa asked if he could see some of them. At first Hough said no but then he told MetKa that he would show them to him on the condition that he would not reveal a very intimate detail about Cheryl's groin goody.

MetKa promised and so he and Derek spent about two hours looking over hundreds and hundreds of photographs of Cheryl's ravishingly gorgeous naked body.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: About a year ago I did happen to see a nude photo of Chezza, as Cheryl is known in her native England that was reportedly taken by Simon Cowell. And I did notice a tiny little freckle that was shaped like a microphone on her left labia majora. I must say that Cheryl's ex-husband Chelsea soccer player Ashley Cole, who cheated on her, with several women has got to be the world's biggest, dumbest, stupidest male.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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