Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for Liverpool Sack Dalglish!
Dalglish, I think

In the most amazing managerial turnaround ever seen in English football, Liverpool last night sacked new manager Kenny Dalglish after just two games in charge, in the aftermath of the Reds' 2-1 defeat at Blackpool.

Dalglish only took the reins at Anfield last weekend after spending years out of the game playing with his Meccano, and the strain of managing a Premier League football team was there for all to see, as the confused 59-year-old Scot kept looking at his glossy matchday programme in order to remind himself of the names of his players.

Liverpool went into the game having been dumped out of the FA Cup by Manchester United on Saturday, but their fans might have expected an easier ride at Bloomfield Road against the Seasiders who were playing in their silly tangerine strip.

But lo! How the once-mighty are fallen! Liverpool, defending like a set of inept schoolboys aged 8, threw away an early lead, and ended the game with many of their players in tears as they left the pitch.

Dalglish remained on the bench for some minutes before being led away by two carers, and an announcement was later made on the official Liverpool website that he had been relieved of his duties, and had gone back to bed.

From here at Bloomfield Road, it finished Blackpool 2 Liverpool 1.

Report by Duncan Whitehead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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