Man Still Listening to Christmas Songs on MP3 Player

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Peter White, 26, is one of the very few people to listen to his Christmas songs after Christmas (at time of writing). His MP3 player, a SanDisk Sansa Fuze V2.0 8GB with a 32GB microSD card, has over 20,000 tracks, 400 of which a...

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Tower To AA Flight 2253: "Stop, Stop. Hey, Stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!! STOP!! Sh-t."

Funny story: Tower To AA Flight 2253: "Stop, Stop. Hey, Stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!! STOP!! Sh-t."

The National Transportation Safety Board has opened an investigation into an incident in which a passenger jetliner that had landed at Jackson Hole Airport in Wyoming failed to stop after touchdown on Thursday. "We're American Airlines... ...cove...

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Queen to Flog Buck House!

Funny story: Queen to Flog Buck House!

In a shock announcement, HRH Queen Elizabeth the Second has declared that she will be putting Buckingham Palace on the market this spring, at an asking price as yet undisclosed. This move has come at a time of hardship for the Royals: two wedding...

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Making the Cut: America's Next Top Surgeon

Funny story: Making the Cut: America's Next Top Surgeon

Bravado is proud to announce the newest love child of the network's career-oriented reality TV orgy, Making the Cut: America's Next Top Surgeon. Veering away from the coincidentally exact same plot-twist and character line-up as all other reality shows, Making the Cut will be a sharp competition and a display of philanthropy. Those in need of surgeries, but lacking the funding, will be able...

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Bolton Plumber declares Bankruptcy due to US Government

Funny story: Bolton Plumber declares Bankruptcy due to US Government

John Wiki, a plumber based in Bolton has declared bankruptcy today following a sharp downturn in his online bookings in the latter part of 2010. His plumbing business Wiki-Leaks, formed in 2006, took a notable part of its work through the Internet...

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Vatican's men in frocks ring in 2011 by poaching Church of England's men in frocks

Funny story: Vatican's men in frocks ring in 2011 by poaching Church of England's men in frocks

Britain enters 2011 with the same-old left-overs of yore as long-simmering divisions threaten to split the Church of England. What are they fighting over? Weapons of mass destruction? Territorial disputes? Who can save mankind first? Hell no!...

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The Archers 60th Anniversary Elton John Storyline Shocker

Funny story: The Archers 60th Anniversary Elton John Storyline Shocker

Richter Scale-smashing shock waves seem set to devastate Britain's favourite farming community tonight, writes Daisy Fields, Agriculture and Celebrity Infant-Trafficking Correspondent. The BBC have had devotees of long-running Radio 4 soap The Archers - set in the fictional Midlands village of Ambridge - salivating on tenterhooks for weeks in anticipation of the 60th Anniversary Episode to be b...

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Bond 23 Commences Filming Following Finance Problems

Funny story: Bond 23 Commences Filming Following Finance Problems

The 3rd Bond film featuring Daniel Craig as the Secret Agent has finally commenced filming following a number of problems with gathering the necessary funds to complete the film. In order to ensure appropriate funding could be secured, a number of...

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Parliament eyes Voucher Vultures

Funny story: Parliament eyes Voucher Vultures

Those undisputed kings of comedy, namely the Con/Libs have entered 2011 with a vengeance, just when you thought they had run out of fresh material they produce an absolute gutbuster! Vouchers worth £250 million are being dished out ("oh the puns,...

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"Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" scuttlebut

Funny story: "Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" scuttlebut

WikiSquirts has new information about the casting for "Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" and the status of the trash can from the "Oasis" rehearsal studio. First lets revisit the cast and crew as we know it so far: Producer - Carson Daly. "The Carse" acquires rights to the movie franchise with more than a little help from his mothers deep pockets. Then proceeds to completely change the winn...

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ABC's Supernanny Offers One Last Visit to Kate Gosselin

Funny story: ABC's Supernanny Offers One Last Visit to Kate Gosselin

ABC's Supernanny, Jo Frost, is folding up her umbrella, letting her chauffer go, and heading back to England to start a family of her own, but not before she offers her services one last time to the mother of all mothers, Kate Gosselin. "That woma...

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Cheryl Cole to Wed

Funny story: Cheryl Cole to Wed

Cheryl Cole, lunatic signer and hair dye scientist, has announced her intention to wed the D.E.R.E.K. 2000 - her personal Dancing Emotional Robotic Exercising KineticBot. It is believed that she purchased the robot in early 2010 following the ma...

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Drunken ghost of dead Charlie Sheen officiates at ceremony as Shania Twain and Valerie Bertinelli kick off 2011 by marrying each other

Funny story: Drunken ghost of dead Charlie Sheen officiates at ceremony as Shania Twain and Valerie Bertinelli kick off 2011 by marrying each other

Tired of cheating men and failed marriages Canadian country songbird Shania Twain and everybody's favorite TV sweetheart Valerie Bertinelli kicked off the New Year by marrying each other. The 5 bridesmaids consisted of a 900-pound Kirstie Alley who...

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Arnold Schwarzenegger tired of public office - leaving Monday

Funny story: Arnold Schwarzenegger tired of public office - leaving Monday

Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced his decision to leave public office beginning Monday. It is rumoured that he is anxious to get back into acting on the big screen before he completely loses his charisma. He has been working out daily at the...

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New Year's Day 'dismantling' of Ford Prison, Arundel, West Sussex, is in line with Kenneth Clarke's determination to close down prisons!

Funny story: New Year's Day 'dismantling' of Ford Prison, Arundel, West Sussex, is in line with Kenneth Clarke's determination to close down prisons!

Ford Prison, West Sussex: Following the New Year's Day rampage at Ford prison, Kenneth Clarke wishes to reassure people worried about a more liberal approach to crime, Mr Clarke is examining measures to make community penalties much tougher. Ken...

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Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

Funny story: Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say...

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Future News: McDonald's Buys FDA

Funny story: Future News: McDonald's Buys FDA

(Published 2027) - WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a landmark takeover, fast food/media giant McDonald's-Disney bought out the Food and Drugs Administration. "It makes me feel very sad," said Republican, Ted Electronic Arts Gareth. "In a Starbucks kinda St...

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Reasons for God Creating Eve

Funny story: Reasons for God Creating Eve

01) God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 02) God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote. 03) God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him. 04) God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself. 05) God...

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US Soldiers tested for belief in God

Funny story: US Soldiers tested for belief in God

US Soldiers are to issued white tunics with red crosses and swords for the Afghan Holy Wars. Richard the Lionheart has been called on to return and replace General Petraeus as Chief of Central Command and Knight Templar for the New Eastern Crusades! TRUE STORY : The US Army has introduced Spirituality Tests for troops. Those who do not show sufficient belief in God are to be black-listed an...

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Guide to Traffic Wardens

Funny story: Guide to Traffic Wardens

Parking controls were introduced to London in 1958. The first parking meters were installed outside the American Embassy. Two years later traffic wardens made their first appearance on the streets of London. They have been hated by motorists ever since. By June 2009 71 police forces issued body armour to traffic wardens after a spate of attacks from angry drivers. How to have Fun with...

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Award for Nottingham Police

Funny story: Award for Nottingham Police

It is with the greatest of pleasure that we at the Royal sponsored Inchcock Gazette, have to report that Police Officers in the Nottingham UK, are to be awarded with a humanitarian award for their kind, caring nature, and wonderfully helpful nature s...

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Female G spot lost in space!

Men (hetero) searching for the ultimate kick and women too can forget it, the secret female G spot has been lost and was last seen heading towards a "black hole" somewhere in the galaxy. After all the years of trying, prodding, stroking, rubbing,...

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Cameron, Clegg, Hague & Osborne 2011 Forecasts

Funny story: Cameron, Clegg, Hague & Osborne 2011 Forecasts

David Cameron - Prime Minister Born Oct 9th 1966 - Libra: Positive: Artistic, romantic and loving, a champion of good causes, intellectual, a good friend to other con-men, strongly held beliefs in nepotism, can be charming, sincere, and with excellent communicative skills designed to get his own way and cover-up for his ministers fiddling. Negative: Moody or sulky, flirtatious, egot...

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God appears on Rooney's balding head?

Funny story: God appears on Rooney's balding head?

The first miracle of 2011 happened yesterday in the Black country (literally), Birmingham, UK. After not scoring in open play since March 2010, the enfant terriblé of English soccer actually did it. After all of the well documented turbulences in...

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Contraposition

Funny story: Contraposition

James A. Michener (1907 - 1997) in his novel 'Caravans', Copyright, 1963, Random House, wrote: 'During my first days in Afghanistan …whenever I saw a pair of …tribesmen …, his partner (had) feminine traits. He walked in mincing steps, kept a handkerchief in one hand, and he carried a winter flower between his teeth …wore a little rouge or eye makeup and always … holding the hand of his …rugged pa...

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Tony Randall on Elton John's fatherhood: "Elton started young!"

Funny story: Tony Randall on Elton John's fatherhood: "Elton started young!"

In a rare statement issued from the afterlife, actor Tony Randall dismissed concerns that Elton John is too old to be a new father. "Too old? Ridiculous," said Randall, who died in 2004 at the age of 84. "Why, I was more than ten years older tha...

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Minnesota woman spends New Year's 2011 watching Black Adder reruns

Funny story: Minnesota woman spends New Year's 2011 watching Black Adder reruns

Outer Suburbia, Minnesota - While many people were heralding the arrival of 2011 with revelry and fireworks and kneeling before the Porcelain God, local resident Helena Handbasket stayed home and watched the entire four seasons of Black Adder, plus B...

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It's official - the cast for "Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" is set. According to Twilight Producer Carson Daly

Funny story: It's official - the cast for "Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" is set. According to Twilight Producer Carson Daly

Carson Daly has contacted WikiSquirts to be the exclusive source for his new movie "Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis" the fourth movie in the mega box office franchise. After WikSquirts broke the news on the source material for the upcoming movie Mr. Daly new it was just a matter of time before the entire lid would be blown off the secrets to the production, so he agreed to a conference call f...

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Elton John's son is a blue Smurf

Funny story: Elton John's son is a blue Smurf

The American physician who carried out the artificial insemination procedure that resulted in Elton John and David Furnish becoming parents, says that he can not explain why the couple's son is a blue Smurf. "It could be that hair dye of the blue...

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Spider-Man Actress Leaves Broadway Show, Hopes to Be in Superman Show

Funny story: Spider-Man Actress Leaves Broadway Show, Hopes to Be in Superman Show

"I'm outta here," announced the actress who had been playing the part of Arachne in the Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. It was clear that she could hardly control her relief as she spoke to reporters, just before exiting the the...

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MP's Expenses claims

Funny story: MP's Expenses claims

The local August election in Nottingham, had a Spoofer, Inchcock Chambers apply for nomination, as representative for the Social Spoof Rejected Party. His magnanimous gesture was to fail miserably - but Inchcock is used to such failures in life - only the expense claims of the already rich and well paid caused him concern. Top expense claiming nepotists.. I mean MP's, Members of Parliament...

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Law Enforcement's Secret War Against Hip Hop

Funny story: Law Enforcement's Secret War Against Hip Hop

According to Fremont Beck, Professor of Hip Hop Studies at Northwestern University, "The rise of hip hop - celebrating rebellion and freedom - is clearly perceived as a threat by the dominant white culture. Law enforcement has infiltrated hip hop cu...

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Vatican Announces New Sex Reforms for the Church

Funny story: Vatican Announces New Sex Reforms for the Church

After a six-weeks long symposium of theologians and cardinals to discuss the sexual crises in the Church, Pope Benedict, or "Eggs" to his friends, has issued a Bull in which new decrees are laid out for the guidance of the clergy. Cardinal Morone...

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Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Funny story: Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Steve Bruce has often wondered if the comments made by his family, friends and colleagues, regarding the possibility that he is, somehow related to American, Late Night Talk Show host, Jay Leno, may indeed be true. There is definitely a marked res...

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President Obama's Favorite Health Food Restaurants

Funny story: President Obama's Favorite Health Food Restaurants

Washington DC: President Obama occasionally enjoys a good cheeseburger, while espousing healthy eating and exercise such as playing basketball. The president made another quick lunchtime stop at Five Guys, a fast-food restaurant in Washington DC...

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