There were 713 spoof news stories published in December 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The Worst Selling Christmas Toys For 2011
Some of this years biggest selling Christmas season toys include The LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Tablet, The Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, The Trash Pack Trashies Garbage Truck, Crayola Crayon Makers, Monster High Dolls, Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, and Transformers Dark of the Moon Ultimate Optimus Prime But on the other side of the coin are Christmas toys that no one is purchasing. The highly re...
Read full storyNYPD Threatens To Shut Down Times Square On New Year's Eve
Police in New York have announced a plan to block the city's New Year's Eve celebration, contending that its crowd control responsibilities in Times Square interfere with a more essential duty. "The public forgets that New York is one of the world...
Read full storyCongress Puts The Internet Up For Sale
Washington DC -- Faced by increased popular pressure against its moves to control and censor the Internet, Congress has decided to sell the World Wide Web to the highest bidder. "The Internet is very powerful in its ability to encourage people to...
Read full storyUS Declares a World Record Victory in Iraq
Baghdad -- The United States military today is celebrating a major win in Iraq. American troops are heading home after setting the world record for the longest and most expensive stop and frisk in the history of law enforcement. "It seems like onl...
Read full storyX-Factor Cast-Off Drew Ryniewicz, 14, Is Still Extremely Devastated and Is Now Contemplating Suing Simon Cowell
CHINO VALLEY, Arizona - Drew Ryniewicz is back home in Chino Valley, Arizona and she is still upset at having been eliminated from X-Factor. The little, bitty, skinny, 14-year-old singer met with Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld and had a nice chat...
Read full storySanta Claus May Have Cheated on the Missus
The rumors of holiday hanky panky are flying faster than Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Several tabloids are reportedly ready to publish motel records from all over the world that would show Santa to be an unfaithful spouse. Some say the rumors...
Read full storyDonald Trump Creates A New Political Party -- The Trumpets
New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party. "It's called the Trumpets, because I'm a guy who likes to toot his own...
Read full storyThe Scandalous Rumors About Kobe Bryant and Eva Longoria
LOS ANGELES - (Joke Satire Entertainment News) The rumors about who Kobe Bryant was messing around with causing his wife Vanessa to file divorce papers keep swirling out of the infamous rumor mill of Tinseltown in Hollywood, central Los Angeles, Cal…
Read full storyHerman Cain's Wife Urges Him to Run - for His Life
Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: "Should I continue to run even though they're saying that I cheated on you, honey?" Gloria Cain responded with a load...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says That This Years Christmas Present From Her Mom And Dad Is The Worst One She Has Ever Received
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has admitted that lately she has been keeping quite a low profile. She has stated that she really wants to concentrate on getting rid of her devil-may-care attitude and bad-girl reputation. Miley said that she wants t...
Read full storyTwitter Sells Big Stake in Company to Leprechaun; Birdies Squawk
They says it's not because of any kind of prejudice against the Irish, but Twitter birdies are most upset with the new financial backer of the company. In an exclusive interview with spoof reporter Gail Farrelly, the birds explained their reaso...
Read full storyX-Factor's Rachel Crow To Appear With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In 'The Vampire Diaries'
LOS ANGELES - The producer of the top rated cable show The Vampire Diaries was watching X-Factor when 13-year-old Rachel Crow was eliminated. Manolo Middlezuck says that he was amazed to see the pixie little singer standing up and saying that she...
Read full storyTabloid journalists left depressed by Gary Speed suicide
Tabloid journalists have been advised to seek help if they become depressed and experience feelings of worthlessness in the wake of the Gary Speed tragedy. Scores of hardened hacks are reported to have succumbed to stress and resorted to heavy dr...
Read full storyAll of The Justin Bieber Baby Mama Talk Has Girlfriend Selena Gomez Now Wanting A Baby
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber's girlfriend Selena Gomez recently appeared on The View and talked about her career, her love for guacamole dip, her fondness for the Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, and her infatuation with her boyfriend Justin Bieber.
Read full storyKobe & Kate? - Kobe Bryant Denies The Kate Gosselin Romance Rumors
LOS ANGELES - Well it looks like jolly olde St. Nick wasn't too good to jolly olde St. Kobe as his Los Angeles Lakers were beaten by the Chicago Bulls 88-87 in their NBA Christmas Day season opener in Tinsel Town. Bryant playing with a torn wrist...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Stars of 'The Vampire Diaries' Spotted on A Gondola In Venice, Italy In An Intimate PDA
VENICE, Italy - The two stars of The Vampire Diaries were recently photographed together taking a nice trip on a Venitian gondola. The gondola named La Donna Bellissima Erotica is the very same gondola that George Clooney takes when he and his lad...
Read full storySelena Gomez Reveals Her Long Time Secret Phobia To Justin Bieber
HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez recently stated that she has never been happier than when she is with her boyfriend Justin Bieber. Gomez said that the thing that makes their relationship work is that she is the magnet and he is the steel. She noted that...
Read full storyTaylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's Christmas TV Special "The Damn Grinch Who Stole Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" Named The Season's Best
HOLLYWOOD - Every Christmas season all of the networks schedule dozens and dozens of holiday themed shows, old time Christmas movies, and oodles of seasonal cartoons geared to holly jolly olde St. Nick and the other cast of Christmasy folks. This...
Read full storyBoris Johnson is Jimmy Savile's love child
London - Another bottle blonde has proved to be a DNA match for Jimmy Savile's love child. Peroxide bombshell and London Mayor Boris Johnson joins newly discovered 'sister' Georgina Ray, 40, as the deceased entertainer's secret spawn. The newly...
Read full storyGiant colony of sloths already inhabits Kepler-22b
Space - A colony of mutant species from the Bradypodidae genus of three-toed sloths is suspected of being indigenous to the newly discovered planet. Imagery from NASA's Kepler space telescope reveals the distinctive arboreal critters whose closest...
Read full storyAfter Jay Leno Appearance, Ron Paul Tags Joe Rogan As Running Mate
I caught up with Ron Paul after his very positive showing on the Jay Leno Show. He had some surprising breaking news about his campaign: WG: Congressman Paul, you really tore the house down on the Jay Leno Show tonight. RP: I just finished talking to Joe Rogan backstage. You know he came on the show for his segment wearing a Ron Paul shirt! He has agreed to be my running mate. I think he wou...
Read full storyKanye West Tells X-Factor Cast-Off Astro Not To Worry That He'll Take Him Under His Wing
HOLLYWOOD - Fifteen-year-old Brian Bradley, AKA Astro was the first of two to be eliminated on the latest edition of X-Factor. Astro who offended a lot of people when he disrespected the viewers because he had ended up in the bottom two learned a...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Demi Lovato To Record An Album With X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
LOS ANGELES - Even though the two youngest members of this year's X-Factor were both eliminated Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14, are extremely happy. Both have been informed that Simon Cowell's production company 19th Hole Productions has...
Read full storyHoly guacamole! Spoof writer's face materialises on kebab wrapper at midnight on 54th birthday
Dorking Magma - A writer from the Spoof website was in shock tonight as a strange oily apparition began, er, manifesting all over his £4.95p doner kebab wrapper.... just as he turned 54 years of age! At first glance the trompe l'oeil looked a dead...
Read full storyNoddy and Big Ears accused of racist behaviour in London Underground!
Once upon a time, Noddy and Big Ears decided to leave their red open-top car at the Harrods parking area opting to hop on the London Underground to travel into town, a fatal mistake. Accompanying Noddy & Big Ears was their mate, Gollywog, a life long friend. Nowadays it's not allowed to call someone a Gollywog, but Noddy and Big Ears didn't care because that's his name. The three of them...
Read full storyJohn Boehner Kills 'Share Christmas With Your Senator'
Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives. "We're giving a big 'bah humbug' to that idea," said House Sp...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E 31 Dec 2011 - with comments
25 Dec 2011: Drunk driver left 'housebound' by ban for being over the limit Category: Crime 'This is Nottingham' A disabled pensioner claimed he would be left "housebound" once banned from driving after being found drunk at the wheel. Neil Craig, 69, of Raglan Court, Beeston, is the third driver to be named and shamed in the Post's Christmas anti-drink driving campaign, 'None for the Road'.
Read full story"Cougar Town" Is Cancelled - Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, and Mariah Carey Are Devastated
LOS ANGELES - Cougar Town the one show about May-December relationships where the female was December and the male was May looks like it's been kicked to Cellulite Land. Sangria Wine with TV ClickerWorld stated that the powers that be have decided...
Read full storyExclusive! Peter Andre marriage breakdown: 'I left Katie 'cos her tits exploded'
The much-loved reality star and greek knock-off, Peter Andre has sensationally revealed this week the reasons behind the breakdown of his marriage to human blow-up doll, Katie 'Jordan' Price. The reasons for the crash and burn of his nuptuals were...
Read full storyLance Armstrong: "That syringe sticking out of my thigh is a fashion statement"
Austin, Texas: During what was expected to be a typical post-retirement press conference for the athlete, in which he would announce plans to compete in an ever more mediocre sporting event and blather about cancer, Lance Armstrong's day took a turn...
Read full storyJon Gosselin Penniless and Broke Asks Ex-Wife Kate Gosselin For A Loan
READING, Pennsylvania - it appears that one of the former stars of the television cable show Jon and Kate Plus 8 has fallen on hard times. After his divorce from his wife Kate Gosselin, Jon Gosselin became, in his own words, the South Korean Play...
Read full storyNew Steel Panther Album May Lead to Another Medical Miracle
Last summer they inadvertently helped to treat cancer, along with erectile dysfunction. Now in the months following the release of Steel Panther's new album "Balls Out", a study is showing that infertility may be the next medical miracle brought for...
Read full storyHeidi Montag Is Furious At The 'Tiny Tampon' Shortage
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Heidi Montag is back in the news and this time it is not because the undisputed "Queen of Plastic" has had yet another in her long line of cosmetic surgeries. The woman who, at last count, had gone under the vanity knife a total...
Read full storySan Diego Chargers Kicker Nick Novak Gets A Three Day Suspension For Peeing On The Sidelines
SAN DIEGO - San Diego Chargers kicker Nick Novak was reportedly in the bathroom at his home in San Diego when he received a call from a representative of the NFL Committee on Player Game Behavior. According to Sport Territory Magazine's Tango Bris...
Read full storyEurozone to adopt Higgs Boson as new currency
In an attempt to solve the debt crisis in the Eurozone, the Higgs Boson is to be adopted as the new currency. Difficulty in producing the particle, and the fact that it may not even exist are sure to increase its value, which should boost the Eurozon...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Divulges Her Illness
MEMPHIS - Taylor Swift is presently in talks with Lions Door Pictures about the possibility of starring in the film A Fussin' and A Fightin' - The Tonya Tucker Story. The movie is based on the book Delta Dawn Does Da Darn Delta by noted country mu...
Read full storyPublic Libraries: return books on time or be shot
Police officers can now lawfully shoot those who mock the library fine system. "In some cases during the summer several thousand library books were not taken back on time throughout England. This is totally unacceptable, anti-social behavior which w...
Read full storyAstronomers Find Massive Black Holes In White House: Fear Them Coming To Hawaii Soon
WASHINGTON - Black holes: "They're the most destructive monsters in the universe. We already knew they can be powerfully massive. Now scientists say they have found the most massive ones yet; as reported in The Billingsgate Journal of Natural Sci…
Read full storyPittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger Finally Agrees To Change His Last Name
PITTSBURGH - After adamantly stating that hell would freeze over and all of the Kardashians would move to Armenia before he would change his last name Ben Roethlisberger has changed his mind. "Big Ben" as he is known by his Tweeter fans has been t...
Read full storyRolling Stones Announce 50th Anniversary World Tour
London - On the heels of a meeting between Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones have announced plans for their 50th Anniversary World tour. The aging duo of Jagger and Richards met for several hours today plotting out how to best cel...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Reveals The Reason Why She Has Gained So Much Weight
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The girl who revived the careers of genies with her song "Genie In A Bottle" Christina Aguilera recently stated that yes she has in fact packed on quite a bit of weight. Aguilera talked with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Inn...
Read full storyHiggs Boson found on Navy Frigate
Crew members aboard the Frigate HMS Rigging have returned to Southampton after six months patrolling the seas around Afghanistan to much confusion. "We've pulled into port this week," said quartermaster Lou Tennant, "and we're told the entire worl...
Read full storySteve Jobs Still Running Apple -- From Hell
Cupertino, California -- Almost three months after his death, Steve Jobs continues to head Apple Inc., controlling the company from his special place in Hell through a combination of Wi-Fi, G4 and supernatural workarounds. "I made a pact with the...
Read full storyQPR bit by "rat" Suarez
Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League. "Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...
Read full storyMancini begs Balotelli to quit his five-a-day smoking habit
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week. "I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I...
Read full storyScrewdrivers are the most dangerous tool
In the national accident statistics, the humble screwdriver has come out tops of the most dangerous household tools wielded by inept morons. "You would have thought chainsaw, or power drill," said NAS Co-ordinator Nathan Tonal. "However, accidents...
Read full storyUS Scientists discover God living in a massive black-hole!
Scientists at the University of Berkeley, California, have made an amazing discovery; God lives in a black-hole in a galaxy far away called NGC4889. The other God better known as A+++h (name changed for political reasons) also lives in a massive b...
Read full storyX-Factor's Rachel Crow Is Being Considered For Next Season's Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Little X-Factor cast-off Rachel Crow has just become the most famous 13-year-old in America. After being eliminated from Simon Cowell's reality music show X-Factor and having a virtual meltdown on stage, live before millions of televis...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Gets An Apology From A U.S. Senator Who Said She Has A Caboose Like Kim Kardashian's
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Wisconsin Senator Jim Sensenbrenner has issued an apology to the first lady Michelle Obama for his extremely insensitive, uncalled for, and very ignorant statement. The senator from the Cheese State was at Reagan Airport in Wash...
Read full storyAuld Lang Syne Lyrics A Mystery
Most Britons make up the lyrics to the traditional New Year ditty Auld Lang Syne a survey has discovered. Researchers discovered that 37 per cent of us don't know any of the words to the song, written by Robert Burns in 1788. Most of the adults...
Read full storyMorgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson, and Gwyneth Paltrow To Star In "Oops - The Herman Cain Story"
HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Tri-Moon pictures has announced that production will begin in late December on Staccato Monteverdi's motion picture Oops - The Herman Cain Story. According to Silver Screen Showcase Magazine the movi...
Read full storySteven Tyler's Girlfriend Kate Gosselin Denies The Breast Enhancement Rumors
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kate Gosselin who is still upset about the cancellation of her television show Kate Plus 8 was in Los Angeles visiting Kris Kardashian-Jenner, the mama of the KKK girls Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney. Gosselin who has now had two of he...
Read full storyNike Air Jordan Sneakers; The Real Reason People Fight to Buy Them
The pushing and shoving, the brawls, the pepper spray. That's what some people wanting to snag themselves a pair of the latest Nike Air Jordans have had to endure. Is it worth it? Those in the know say YES. This is a product beyond compare.
Read full storyPilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster
New York, NY - The fire department was called to quell street celebrations here after the live television audience of the pilot for the new reality TV show, "Methbusters", was accidentally exposed to massive amounts of crystal meth, according to anon...
Read full storyDerek Hough of Dancing With The Stars Goes To X-Factor's Nicole Scherzinger's Home And Comforts Her
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Nicole Scherzinger, one of the four X-Factor judges took some unwarranted hits from many viewers who blamed her for 13-year-old Rachel Crow being eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor. Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld caug...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan: Taxidermist To The Stars Claims He Mounted Her Like Marilyn Monroe
HOLLYWOOD - Taxidermist to the stars, Dr. Billingsgate, today released information regarding Ms. Lohan that has Hollywood atwitter. For good reason, it appears. Apparently the nude pictures of Lindsay that were supposed to be suppressed until the n...
Read full storyThe List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip
The Christmas gift company Christmas Bells & Whistles has just mailed out its yearly catalog which contains over 16,000 Christmas gifts, including 97, which are brand new for the 2011 holiday season. The catalog contains over 700 pages and lists everything from armadillo shaped Christmas cookie cutters to green and red stripped zebra pajamas. One of last years biggest sellers was the Ho...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments
19 Dec 2011: Nottingham Police launch a crackdown after increase in burglaries Category: Crime 'Nottingham Evening Post' Police have launched a crackdown on burglaries after a rise in offences in Nottingham. In October, Home Office National statistics from June 2010 to June 2011 showed that the number of burglaries had fallen. They fell by 32% or nearly 3,000 fewer victims. But in October...
Read full storyDorking Video Game 'Unrealistic' say residents
The latest 3D Shoot-em-up setting in the sleepy suburb of Dorking has sparked outrage among residents of the sleepy suburb of Dorking. "The game is good and all," said resident youth, Jay Stick. "It's just not Dorking, you know." According to r...
Read full story"Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012
The International Bureau of Weights and Measures in Paris today announced that a "leap centimetre" would be added to the length of the metre at midnight on 28th February 2012, to coincide with the addition of an extra day to the year. 'People are...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Calls Kris Humphries the Gay Divorcée
Pretty at the wedding, ugly at the divorce court may be the future of Kim Kardashian. Fred and Ginger made a movie called The Gay Divorcée, but Kris and Kim don't dance unless it is the twostep. Her dearly departed husband calls her out for duping...
Read full storyJon Corzine Fingers Mr. Potter; Says Life's Not So Wonderful
Washington DC - Failed hedge fund CEO Jon Corzine yesterday called on a House Subcommittee to arrest Henry F. Potter, a Bedford Falls banker and slumlord, for fraud and malfeasance in connection with the collapse of Corzine's MF Global Hedge Fund and...
Read full storyPython sketch comes true for Barnsley bishop
The Bishop of Barnsley caused outrage yesterday when he announced he had undergone a surgical operation in which he was irreversibly conjoined with a pederast. Monty Python's 1973 LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief includes a sketch called 'Elephant...
Read full storyModern Physics is Simply Made Up
Almost all of modern physics is simply wrong says a new UK government report written by top academics. They argue that about a hundred years ago physics took a wrong turn and has consequently had to invent more and more bizarre theories to keep the s...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Says That He Did Not Appreciate Demi Moore's Christmas Gift One Damn Bit!
SHERMAN OAKS, California - The star of Two and A Half Men, Ashton Kutcher, is definitely upset enough for two and a half men. It seems that Kutcher received a Christmas gift from FedEx which he said was actually in one piece but which he absolute...
Read full storyNBA Suspends Kim Kardashian From All Contact With Players: David Stern Calls Her "Serial Screen Scratcher"
NEW YORK - NBA Commissioner David Stern today suspended Kim Kardashian from future contact with any NBA basketball player currently under contract with one of the teams making up the league. Calling Kardashian a "serial screen scratcher" who pre...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Will Be Starring In Her Own Reality Game Show Called "Okay So Who Wants To Be My Next Hubby?"
LOS ANGELES - The word out of Tinsel Town is that the Bravo Network has several producers already working out the final details for the latest reality show from the B Network. Network Director of New Shows Axton P. Splitboro, 43, informed the ente...
Read full storyBoko Harem to bring out new CD
Terrorist organisation Boko Harem today admitted defeat at the hands of 1970' pop group sensation Procul Harem. In a letter to Gary Brooker, songwriter from the original chart-topping pop group, Mustapha Wierdbeard, PR officer from the terrorist o...
Read full storyRon Paul Spelled Backwards: "Luap Nor" (Arabic For Nuke Israel)
SIOUX CITY, IOWA - In the debate last night, Congressman Ron Paul reached out to Iran President and fellow madman, Mahmoud Ahmadinejab. Looking like a troll dropping off the shoulders of a wire hanger, Paul defended the right of Iran to build a nucl...
Read full storyIlluminati to Boehner - "Don't Be a Flaming Suck-Up"
WASHINGTON, DC - Since George Soros "publicly" took ownership of the US Government in January 2009, organizations such as the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group have practically flaunted their diabolical manipulation of human...
Read full storyX-Factor's Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, and Chris Rene Make It To The X-Factor Finals
HOLLYWOOD - The cool cat singing Marcus Canty was eliminated from the semifinals of X-Factor. And it was good to see that there was no meltdown like the previous weeks when teens Drew Ryniewics, 14, and Rachel Crow, 13, were sent back home. Th...
Read full storyKim Jong Il Left $1 Million North Korean Wons To Jon Gosselin
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Press News Agency is reporting that the late Kim Jong Il left a net worth of $4 billion. The bulk of his estate will go to his four children Kim Ah So, Kim Foo Foo, Kim Oh Saki, and Kim Yo Yo Yo. A re...
Read full storyLady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Taylor Swift Give Eliminated X-Factor Singer Drew Some Pointers On How To Succeed In The Music World
HOLLYWOOD - Drew Ryniewicz, 14, was eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor along with hip hop rapper Astro. Drew spoke backstage with Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and said that she cried more during her last appearance o...
Read full storyEarth twin planets Kepler 20e and 20f 'to be upgraded to 36DD'
Space - NASA geeks said today the new galactic cup sizing reflects a shift away from prepubescent planetoid measurements in the newly discovered Cleavage Constellation. Earlier reports from the Agency's Kepler space telescope assessed the rocky sa...
Read full storyMadonna And Barack Obama To Collaborate In Song And Dance Routine Of Mr. Bojangles At Super Bowl
NEW YORK CITY - Confirming a not-so-well-kept secret, the NFL and NBC announced today that President Barack Obama will indeed collaborate with the Material Woman in a song and dance rendition of Mr. Bojangles during the half-time show of Super Bowl X...
Read full storyJoey Barton, Robbie Savage and John Terry pay tribute to Socrates
The football world was left dazed and confused this week after the untimely death of the legendary philosopher Socrates. Born in 469 BC, Socrates was named after the charismatic footballer Socrates who captained Brazil in the 1982 and 1986 World...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Denies That She's The Reason Why Kobe Bryant's Wife Filed For Divorce
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Since announcing that she was divorcing her philandering Los Angeles Lakers husband Vanessa Bryant has been keeping a very low profile. So much in fact that even FedEx deliverymen cannot seem to contact her to deliver Christmas p...
Read full storyTen More Little Known Facts About John Lennon of The Beatles
December 8, 2011, marks the 31st anniversary of the passing of John Lennon who was part of the Beatles considered by many to be the greatest rock and roll band of all time. Hundreds of articles have been written about John over the past years including some which talked about the performers who influenced him, his early childhood growing up in Liverpool, and his uncanny ability to write a compl...
Read full storyMale gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!
The "ice cold" truth about male gays, penguins that is, has now been witnessed in a Canadian zoo. After spending many warm winters snuggled up together, Pedro and his intimate buddy, Buddy, have decided to split up because a wretched female has enter...
Read full storyOrganic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed
Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...
Read full storyMichael Jackson alive?!
Santiago, Chile. In developing news, reports are emerging of the late Michael Jackson appearing in public, attending theatre shows and generally being sighted on numerous occasions. On at least one occasion, he was seen purchasing coffee at the Starb...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen's Heidi Montag Blow Up Inflatable Doll Mysteriously Blows Up!
SHERMAN OAKS - Police were recently called to the Mulholland Estates Mansion of actor Charlie Sheen after reports of some kind of explosion was called in by a neighbor. According to Sherman Oaks Police, a call was received at police headquarters f...
Read full storyQuantum Mechanic Researchers Discover Time Runs Backward!
Dateline Bern, Switzerland, day after tomorrow: Quantum researchers exploring the bizarre world of "string theory", "quantum entanglements", "replicating clothes hangers" , "single socks" and other unexplained phenomenon which A.Einstein will one day...
Read full storyCOO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite
GENEVA, Switzerland - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up than last reported. "Not fair", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to revelatio...
Read full storyThe Reason Why The Miley Cyrus Music Video "Move Like Marley" Went Up In Smoke
HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus recently turned 19, and she now feels that she should have a lot more control in things relating to her music career. But according to a story reported by the El Lay Informer that is just not the case. Gibraltar Yukon wi...
Read full storyCongress' New Years Resolution: End Piracy
I know what you're thinking, but its not the Somali Pirates they are interested in. No, the Disney franchise isn't being threatened either. Today the biggest and most dangerous center of piracy is none other than the internet. This week not just one but two competing bills are making their way through congress to sharply increase the powers of the US Government to combat these dangerous pirates. T...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian recently made a guest appearance on The View and was drilled pretty good by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg regarding her wedding gifts. Behar began the conversation by asking, "So tell me Kimmy, married anyone latel...
Read full story'Christmas with the Candidates' to Replace the Trump Debate
New York - Real estate developer Donald Trump has announced that his planned presidential debate has been canceled due to lack of interest and replaced by a holiday special. The program is scheduled to feature all of the remaining Republican candidat...
Read full storyCameron Threatens To Nut Sarkozy Over EU Snub - 'Bah Humbug! Bring It On!' Says Diminutive Frenchman
A furious David Cameron, allegedly this evening threatened to head-butt French President Sarkozy, following the much reported incident where Sarkozy snubbed the PM as he vetoed an EU motion, and basically told Germany and France that if they wanted t...
Read full storyBeckham and Tevez to join West Ham
Given the certainty that West Ham will be in the Premier League next season, Uncle Sam Allardyce has obtained the agreement of both David Beckham and Carlos Tevez to sign for the Hammers. David Beckham speaking from Los Angeles told us exclusively...
Read full storyWhat will teaching be like in 2035?
Teachers who are currently forty-five years of age will still be teaching in 2035 aged sixty-eight. At least those who make it will. This makes it highly relevant to ask what teaching will be like when they finally limp over the retirement finish line. The Spoof contacted futurologist James Randi, and asked him. "The teaching profession was remarkably resistant to change for centuries," said...
Read full storyLeveson Inquiry Focuses On The Real Cause Of Dishonest, Bullying and Unethical Tabloid Journalism
The Leveson Inquiry has, thus far, clearly identified the underlying philosophy and ethos of British tabloid journalism. Central to this ethos has been found to be dishonesty, bullying, political manipulation and a complete disregard for what might be considered as civilised standards of behaviour. 'The Inquiry is now moving on,' confirmed Lord Justice Leveson, this week, 'to examine what h...
Read full storySanta Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail
North Pole lawyers were busy this week at the Elf County Courthouse, trying to arrange bail and some time sensitive freedom for Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen, three of Santa's primary reindeer team. Judge Judy Friesfrost denied an early release based on...
Read full storyOne of New York Yankees Derek Jeter's One Night Stands Talks About The Super Stars "Parting Gifts"
NEW YORK CITY - One thing for sure New York Yankees superstar and multi-millionaire Derek Jeter, 37, will never ever go broke. One of the pin stripe heroes overnight girlfriends identified as Buffy "Peaches" Rosenbeaver, 26, informed Carolina Chi...
Read full storyDavid Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse
Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn. Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a g...
Read full storyBritney Spears Has Come A Long Way Since Her "Playpen" Flashing Days
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears recently hit the big 3-Oh. And she says that she does not feel a day over 40. The blonde singer who is perhaps best noted for being the most infamous lip syncer in the music industry celebrated with her fiancé Jason...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E 10 Dec 2011 - with comments
3 Dec 0211: Ambulance paramedic 'Inhaled laughing gas' while at the wheel The Nottingham Evening Post He was based in Derbyshire, has now been suspended from the Health Professions Council register for misusing Entonox while on duty. Entonox is a mixture of nitrous oxide - or laughing gas - and oxygen, and is also known as "gas and air". "You've got to laugh!" 3 Dec 0211: Police need...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Says She's Been Secretly Fantasizing Doing The Horizontal Hokey Pokey With Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush of The Miami Dolphins
BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian was getting her nails done at the Haven of Hair Salon when she was asked how she was holding up with the circus spectacle of her divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries. Kim replied that she has really taken it hard,...
Read full storyIndonesian police shave anti-social punks' hair Mohican style as punishment, Oi!
Indonesian punks who behave badly and as anti-socially as punks generally do, are having their heads forcibly shaved Mohican-style as a punishment. There's only one problem; someone forgot to tell the police that Mohican-style haircuts are what globa...
Read full storyBarbara Walters Says That She Is Retiring Because of Whoopi Goldberg and Elisabeth Hasselbeck
HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters at the age of 82, is the undisputed Queen of News Reporting. She was one of the first women to ever appear on national television doing news shows with the likes of noted newsmen such as Hugh Down, Frank McGee, Harry Reaso...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief
What a disgrace! At the annual Twitter holiday party, many of the birdies drank too much. Way too much. Some were still in jail the next day, having been arrested for FUI (Flying Under the Influence) violations on the way home. Onlookers w...
Read full story