Shocking revelation from Stallone: 'my secret love for crochet'
Hollywoood superstar, Sylvester 'Rocky' Stallone has this week tearfully revealed a long hidden secret...his love for the art of crochet. In an emotional interview with American confessional chat show host, Epiphany Fudge, the Rambo actor described c...Read full story
The IN SEINE winter collection 2011
Here are some humorous t-shirts to wear around town. Put one on and see how many laughs you get: * Here I am! Now What are Your Other Two Wishes? * I Recycle. I Wore this Shirt Yesterday. * I'm Good in Bed. I can sleep for Days! * Also Available in Sober. * Voted Class of 2057's Most Likely to Travel Back in Time. * I'm like a Museum - Look But Don't Touch. * Somebody Needs to Rub My Bel...Read full story
Woman is jailed for microwaving mitten
A woman who microwaved a neighbour's kitten in a barbaric revenge attack was jailed last week. Callous Hetty Hotten put the helpless 10-year-old mitten in the 770-watt oven and turned it full on. The mitten's owner, Ivor Koldand, heard a strang...Read full story
Eurovision crisis continues: Britain isolated
With only five months until the next Eurovision song contest is held in Azerbaijan, European countries are no closer to resolving the crisis which threatens the existence of the contest itself. There is not enough money to stage the competition, and...Read full story
Big sneeze is here
A flurry of sneezes is expected to travel east over Wales and give Londoners their first big sneeze of winter. Severe colds and flu are likely to be widespread. Temperatures should be checked regularly for signs of pneumonia. The worst of the snee...Read full story
1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
Following the BBC Frozen Planet polar bear scenes - which were actually filmed in a zoo - controversy, a probably even more profoundly shocking revelation is about to rock the nation to its very foundations. Former BBC special effects wizard, Keit...Read full story
English Town Accidentally 'Twinned' With French Brothel
The residents of the sleepy Cotswold town of Stains-on-Pillowcase have today suffered a rude awakening when it emerged that due to an administrative error their town had been twinned with, O La La Bonk, which it now transpires is actually a Brothel i...Read full story
Experts Puzzled by Surge in Polls for Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul Since They are Uglier Than Other Candidates
Political writer Jonah Wolfson who writes for Politico and Newsweek says he is shocked to see this unexpected rise in the two candidates. Says Wolfson "Here is a Republican field of candidates that is the best looking we have had this entire century.Read full story
Christmas Greetings From Germany
Greetings to all friends in England from the peoples of Germany. This Christmas being is much wonderful time here. The markets traditional have many peoples there in. Hot wine and sweetmeats buying there of. Also many other things. Here in the markets are also selling the traditional Christmas tree branch of chocolate bar Hamburg which fish is selling. Also hats. Many sorts for wearing...Read full story
French Pleiades-1 satellite to snoop for new EU smash 'n' grab opportunities on City of London
French Guiana - Launched today on the back of a Russian Soyuz rocket the 970kg French spy-in-the-sky is programmed to detect astronomical sums passing through City of London coffers. It will work in tandem with five other satellites piggybacking o...Read full story
David Cameron: "I am a Jedi Knight"
"Yes, it's true I am a Jedi Knight", David Cameron told a packed House of Commons. "The UK is a Jedi Knight country; and we should not be afraid to say so. Let me make it perfectly clear; as a Jedi I am bound to a code of morality and justice". In...Read full story
Sensational Election Landslide
An incredible 70% supported the no vote campaign in the bye election at Feltham & Heston. A swing of this sort on a national scale would result in No Government if legislation proposed by Tory backbencher Anthony Union is passed. This legislat...Read full story
Exclusive! Peter Andre marriage breakdown: 'I left Katie 'cos her tits exploded'
The much-loved reality star and greek knock-off, Peter Andre has sensationally revealed this week the reasons behind the breakdown of his marriage to human blow-up doll, Katie 'Jordan' Price. The reasons for the crash and burn of his nuptuals were...Read full story
Michel Roux Jr Accused Of Over-Egging The Pudding
TV chef Michel Roux Jr has been labelled "over-privileged and insensitive" after his latest TV show on Friday. The double Michelin-starred chef appeared on Masterchef: The Professionals - Michel's Classics preparing "sumptuous dishes close to his...Read full story
In A Sports Shocker Vanessa Bryant Files For Divorce From Kobe Bryant Causing The Cancellation of Their Reality Show After Only One Episode
LOS ANGELES - Things were really looking good for Kobe Bryant. The NBA lockout had ended and Kobe's team the Los Angeles Lakers were preparing for their first game against the Chicago Bulls on Christmas day. Kobe, who is the NBA's highest paid pla...Read full story
Barbara Walters Says That She Is Retiring Because of Whoopi Goldberg and Elisabeth Hasselbeck
HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters at the age of 82, is the undisputed Queen of News Reporting. She was one of the first women to ever appear on national television doing news shows with the likes of noted newsmen such as Hugh Down, Frank McGee, Harry Reaso...Read full story
Twitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief
What a disgrace! At the annual Twitter holiday party, many of the birdies drank too much. Way too much. Some were still in jail the next day, having been arrested for FUI (Flying Under the Influence) violations on the way home. Onlookers w...Read full story
Tonight! Tonight! A tribute to geeks!
It's been a really, really messed up week These memories of Christmas bringing days of torture So my boyfriend texted and broke up with me He's an Arlington douche and it's time for me to un-friend him La la la Bah Humbug la la la Wanna death stick? la la la Bah Humbug la la la We're really raving tonight, tonight There's a party at the big dome top of the dome Tonight, tonight were...Read full story
Kobe Bryant and His Wife Vanessa To Star In A New Reality Show "Kobe & Vanessa Doing L.A."
HOLLYWOOD - Former Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom and his wife Khloe Kardashian, stars of the cable network show Lamar & Khloe are not the only basketball couple whose day-to-day exploits America gets to see. Word out of Tinsel Town is that Lak...Read full story