Kim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

image for Kim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse
Kim Kardashian sitting in her Hollywood Hills mansion counting up the value of all of her wedding gifts.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian recently made a guest appearance on The View and was drilled pretty good by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg regarding her wedding gifts.

Behar began the conversation by asking, "So tell me Kimmy, married anyone lately?" Kardashian blushed and merely shook her head.

Goldberg then asked, "Is it true that you have worked it out with the supermarket tabloid Just Saying and that they'll have exclusive rights to the coverage of your next marriage for $7 million?"

Kim shook her said and replied that it was not true and that to be honest if she did decide to do it that it would be nobody's effen business but hers.

"EX-CUSSSSE-me! EX-CUSSSSE-da-FRIG-GIN-DIDD-LY-SQUAT-out-of-MEEEE!" Whoopi screamed out.

The gal with the dreadlocks then proceeded to tear into her, "Now lissen up girlfriend, you made a mockery outta da sanctimonious institution of marriage. You acted like you was on some freakin reality show and you pulled da mother effen wool over ev'ybody's eyes."

"I did not" she shouted as she got up and stood right in front of Whoopi.

"Whoa now girly girl, you don't wanna be gettin in my face like dat cause I ain't one of yo little bitch ass sissy girlfriends, I'll bitch slap you silly clear across da effen room and den I'll pick you up and body slam your humongous ass on Elisabeth Hasselbeck."

"You will not!" shouted Elisabeth.

"Shut up Rapunzel!" Behar hollered out.

Sherri Shepherd stepped in and told everyone to settle down before Miss Barbara (Walters), who was not there fires all of them.

Behar and Goldberg cooled down. Hasselbeck caught her breath and Kardashian sat back on the sofa.

Whoopi looked at her and asked "So tell me Kay-Kay about the wedding gifts. Are they going back or what?"

Kardashian said she was keeping them.

"Even the thoroughbred racehorse that Governor Rick Perry of Texas gave you." Goldberg asked.

"Especially, the throughbred racehorse" Kim replied.

Behar pointed out some other wedding gifts like the Picasso painting, the baby rhino, the KIA Spectra, and the $1,000 gift certificate to The La Brea Tar Pits Diner from President and Mrs. Obama.

Kim remarked that the one thing that she was returning was the $1,000 gift certificate to The La Brea Tar Pits Diner.

She said it was going back because Michele Obama had asked her very nicely for it so that she could give it to a homeless person that has been hanging out in front of the White House since September.

Hasselbeck ever the sharp one said, but the homeless man is in Washington D.C. and the La Brea Tar Pits are in California. Kim said not to worry that the Obama's had made arrangements to relocate the homeless man to La Brea, California.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: The Gwyneth Paltrow that Kim Jong Il reportedly left 500,000 North Korean Wons [$555 U.S.] to is not the Gwyneth Paltrow that is a movie star but the Gwyneth Paltrow that works as a cashier at the Cinderella Cafeteria in Manhattan.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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