David Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 4 December 2011

image for David Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse
Saturday's eclipsed Gemini full moon

Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn.

Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a global swathe of Richter Scale-busters likely to strike between the 10th December's eclipsed full moon and this year's 23 December winter solstice.

Icke famously claimed that a secret cabal of reptilian humanoids from the Draco constellation - the Babylonian Brotherhood - has built an earthquake machine to shake, rattle and roll out the planet's new cold blooded overlords.

This morning the West England promontory's serpentinite strata burst wide open as the quake sliced through the upper mantle of the ocean crust thrusting it against its incontinent - er...continental! - counterpart.

Fallout from the tremor is rumored to be epicentred on royal shapeshifter Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, whose buy-to-let Mousehole hideyhole suffered a massive crack in the shake-up.

Last week Prince Charles was himself deeply rattled by a High Court secrecy-busting bid to make him come clean about Duchy of Cornwall environmental accounts.

The litigation focuses on secret recipes for his Dodgy Originals Rock Cakes and Humbug All Sorts, said to contain toxic alien DNA deposits designed to infiltrate prime human targets.

Expect some major tremors in the coming week as the rollercoaster countdown to Saturday's lunation continues unabated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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