X-Factor's Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, and Chris Rene Make It To The X-Factor Finals

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 16 December 2011

image for X-Factor's Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, and Chris Rene Make It To The X-Factor Finals
Nicole Scherzinger says that the haters can boo her all they want but it does not take away the fact that she is very pretty.

HOLLYWOOD - The cool cat singing Marcus Canty was eliminated from the semifinals of X-Factor.

And it was good to see that there was no meltdown like the previous weeks when teens Drew Ryniewics, 14, and Rachel Crow, 13, were sent back home.

The rumor that "Little Crow" had actually run away to Iowa proved to be false and her mom was especially happy to hear that as Rachel is highly allergic to corn.

Marcus Canty got a standing ovation as he did 3 back flips, 10 push ups, and 15 jumping jacks after being eliminated. The dude truly has the right attitude.

Paula Abdul who together with Nicole Scherzinger could give John Boehner and Brett Favre a run for their money in a teardrops competition told Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight that she actually saw Simon (Cowell) give Marcus a kiss backstage.

Cowell known as "The Sultan of Sarcasm" and "The Count of Criticism" had been extremely harsh on Marcus going as far as saying that he really needed to change his political affiliation, his eating habits, and his fondness for smiling all of the time.

And so going into the X-Factor finals will be Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, and Chris Rene. 3T's Pico de Gallo was asked to give his opinions, advice, suggestions, and comments on the singing trio.

De Gallo, said that the very talented white hip hop rapper Chris Rene needs to drop all of the gang type finger and hand sign gesturing he does with his mentor L.A. Reid. That stuff might be okay back in the hood but it does not play well in front of the American viewing audience.

Established hip hoppers and rappers doing all that hand slapping, fist bumping, and yo yo yoing is one thing but young singers who are just starting out should just concentrate on singing and leave the digital theatrics alone at least until they put out their first CD.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Did you hear that Astro?]

Regarding Josh Krajcik, de Gallo advised that he needs to change his last name as soon as possible. He noted that a recent survey showed that out of 10,000 X-Factor viewers only 7 spelled it correctly and only 1 pronounced it correctly (and that person was one of Josh's cousins).

Josh also needs to get some confidence. He looks very nervous and unsure of himself as if he is still in the early auditioning stages or in the Witness Protection Program. The man is a fantastic singer but he does need to smile a little bit.

The fantastically gifted Melanie Amaro needs to figure out which accent she is going to use. Is she going to use her Caribbean roots accent [e.g. my modda and my fodda] or is she going to use her Florida accent.

It is not a good thing to jump around back and forth from one to the other as it can get very confusing for the viewers.

And she certainly does not want to get confused with the likes of Arianna Huffington, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Barbara Walters.

And bless his English heart, he does try but is Steve Jones really the best choice for a host that Simon Cowell and the X-Factor executives could come up with?

Steve is certainly a likable sort, but he just comes off as being too stone like. And he mispronounces lots of words including simple ones like Pepsi, bosom, lesbian, condoms, okra, Massachusetts, woodpecker, and enchiladas.

SIDENOTE: De Gallo stressed that there is no truth to the rumor that Nicole Scherzinger and Simon Cowell are an item. Nicole confided to the 3T reporter backstage that she does not go for men who have a 5 foot by 6 foot poster of themselves on the ceiling over their bed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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